Is it hard to shy guys to get girlfriend in college

I know this is a strange question to ask. But I’m pretty shy, and I haven’t been able to get a high school girlfriend. Girls hit on me but I’m too shy to flirt back to ask a girl out. I’ve been really depressed for the past year because everyone else has been out with at least one girl and has been kissed and then there’s me, who’s too shy to go after a girl. I haven’t even been kissed yet and I’m 17 and almost about to go to college. I don’t even want to go to prom because I’m too shy to ask a girl to go and I don’t want to go alone. So I guess I’m wondering if the girls in college are more forward and aggressive or if they’re like high school girls and I’ll have to be a single virgin for another 4 years of my life. I’m also not really into hookup culture, so I’m wondering if there are any college girls who want to have a relationship.

If you get hit on, it’s not the girls who need to be more forward and aggressive. They’re doing their part.

The answer is, yes. It will be hard. You will need to be less shy. You will need to take chances. You will need to respond if you think someone is flirting with you. I’m speaking as a shy guy from many years ago (and still an introvert), so I think I know exactly what you are saying. You cannot expect someone else to magically break through your shell. There will be many young women (not girls) who are also interested in relationships. The best foundation for those is shared interests. Join clubs. Go to church/youth group. If girls have indicated an interest in you in the past, you can’t be a total loser :slight_smile: but you have put in some effort.

Remember that flirting is just the start. If you want a relationship, you need to meet women who would make good friends, too. Finding those connections becomes part of the flirting.

For example, my college girlfriend and I hit it off in part because we were both serious Beatles fans. We talked about the band for hours, on several days, before we got around to the first kiss. All that talk was a mix of flirting :and: making friends.

lol you sound like me. I’m currently a high school senior and never had a girlfriend. Girls always say I’m handsome and that I can get any girl, but I just friend zone all of them. I remember this past homecoming I went with friends. I was sitting while most people were dancing. A girl came up to me to say hi and I looked at her and said hi back. Then I proceeded to take out my phone and use it until she left… I’m such a d*ck…

College is about taking chances. OMG, to quote the guy on the balcony early in It’s a Wonderful Life, “life is wasted on the young.” Not really … but don’t pass up those opportunities, shy guys. If a girl says hi, that’s not a bad sign. Social Skills 101.

How can I stop being shy so that when I get to college I’ll be confident enough to flirt with girls and ask them for their number and ask them out?

start acting confident pronto. fake it till yu make it.

You just have to push yourself. No one can give you a magical cure. Women are being forward and “aggressive” but you’re not reciprocating so they’re moving on. That’s normal.

Engage with them when they talk to you. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone who will make the first move after you show interest. (This is what happened with my partner and I- I (female) asked him out but after we had been friends and flirted for a while.)

Excuse me, but why do you need to flirt?
Be yourself, talk, and find your “girl” friends. They don’t want phonies.
If they flirt with you, respond by being a gentleman.
Say: “Hello”, “thank you”, “I appreciate that” “you’re being kind”

It’s gonna be hard. “Shy” isn’t usually a trait that girls look for in a guy because getting shy people to open up takes extra work, and nobody wants unnecessary work in a relationship (Unless you’re really good looking, or rich, or something)

Have you given up on meeting someone in high school? You do have 6 months or so left of your HS life and 2+ months of summer. You are going to need a date for the Prom, so that is something you should be working on.

I’m a girl and I’m heading off to college soon too! :slight_smile: If you don’t start making an effort, just remember that we can simply find another guy out of HUNDREDS of other boys. you snooze, you lose.