“Just in case” what? Well, that’s the thing…you don’t know what…even a sudden cold front could mean that you needed to bring something else."
Even if you go on a beach vacation and you intend on wearing bathing suits and t-shirts all day long, you bring some kind of light jacket or light sweater. Because maybe it will get chilly at night. This is just common sense. This is why jeans are such a staple. Because they work up and down the chain in a way that gym shorts don’t.
Actually, I never thought of asking the young woman to substitute more adaptable clothes for one of the two outfits that she wanted to wear at orientation. We don’t know whether space in her bag was limited, but if it was, I would want her to bring the clothes she actually wanted to wear to the event she knew she was attending, without having any concern about hypothetical as-yet-nonexistent social events that might occur afterward.
By the way, I think it was very nice of this young woman to agree to go out to dinner with a couple of older people whom she doesn’t even know (friends of friends of her parents). It was probably the last thing she would want to do right after finishing her jam-packed orientation, but she seems to have handled the situation graciously.
I see people like the guy at the symphony all the time. They look like they went straight from working in the yard to dinner out without skipping a beat. I think they’re totally clueless. They have no idea that they look ridiculous - bordering on buffoonery, and presumably, they don’t really care. If you ask them why they don’t get dressed up, they say that they want to be “comfortable,” as if that’s some sort of god-given right. I think it’s rude and insulting to those who dress appropriately. I don’t want to pay $100 a person at a lovely restaurant and have to look at some guy in sneakers and an old sweatshirt at the next table. Restaurants used to turn people away who weren’t dressed appropriately, or make them wear the “house jacket,” but those days seem to be over.
On the other hand, the girls in soccer gear are fine - they are grabbing a bite to eat directly from the field and that’s pretty obvious. Kids in sports uniforms always look great.
Perhaps it is simpler for men, who tend to favor shorts that are closer to knee length, as opposed to shorts with 2"-3" inseams. So typical men’s shorts may be more “acceptable” to those who do not like to see people walking around in 2"-3" inseam shorts.
As far as long trousers go, jeans may be too warm for warm weather locations; they also do not travel as well (heavier and bulkier than other long trousers like khakis, and not realistic to quickly wash and drip dry them in the hotel room).
Oh good grief. You don’t need to wash jeans for a weekend trip.
I’ve seen my share of Euro men in short shorts. We aren’t talking Beckham or Magic Mike.
Folks, have one “something” other than your hinky shorts. Figure…it…out. This isn’t some competition about whose city or town has more sophisticated standards or is more laid back. It wasn’t a debutante ball but neither was it post-game. And what’s the big deal about a college freshman going to meet some adults with her parents? She should be competent to hold a little conversation.
My girls have dresses that can be balled up in a pocket, for heaven’s sake, and shake out perfectly.
I’m not insulted by having to look at underdressed people at a fancy restaurant
Has and I ate at a $100 per person place last night at the end of our vacation. Dress ran from shorts and tees to long formal dresses and dress pants at this hot weather tourist destination. I WAS offended by the woman waving her enormous new diamond at everyone at her table, filming it, posing with it like it was just that special. And I was even more offended by the well dressed foreign woman who shoved me out of the way to get a good photo at an attraction. The 20 somethingso in shorts and tees were much more polite.
I was also offended by the well dressed woman standing in the middle of the sidewalk SMOKING as if it was perfectly fine. But at least she looked good!
"I WAS offended by the woman waving her enormous new diamond at everyone at her table, filming it, posing with it like it was just that special. "
Oh, did she make you admire it? How would you even know that someone at another table was “waving around” a diamond? On CC, the act of wearing / using / carrying / driving something expensive is often mistaken with “waving it around.”
Huh. I’m in Northern California, a bastion of casual, and I wouldn’t advise my daughter to go visiting colleges and family family friends wearing only gym shorts. At 58, I am often brought up short by all the, well, very short casual shorts that get worn these days.
@sseamom - there is some sort of equivalency between well dressed and ill-mannered, and poorly dressed and polite? That’s news to me.
It was nice of this young woman to go out to dinner with her mom’s friends? Why? I entertain my kid’s friends, why shouldn’t my kids expect to go out with my friends? When my kids come home from college (or home for holidays for D1), they would always ask me what events they would need to attend so they could bring appropriate clothes.
Yes, people do bring extra clothing for unexpected events. Yes, wear what you want is not always an option. Just because you are of certain age (over 50), doesn’t mean you need to look frumpy. Just because you are of certain age (under 25), doesn’t mean gym clothes or pajamas are appropriate for every occasion.
“If you ask them why they don’t get dressed up, they say that they want to be “comfortable,” as if that’s some sort of god-given right. I think it’s rude and insulting to those who dress appropriately. I don’t want to pay $100 a person at a lovely restaurant and have to look at some guy in sneakers and an old sweatshirt at the next table.”
Nor is it your God-given right to have a person spending $100 of their hard-earned money on a meal “dress-up” for your viewing pleasure, unless the restaurant has a clear dress code.
“When my kids come home from college (or home for holidays for D1), they would always ask me what events they would need to attend so they could bring appropriate clothes.”
My kids would ask me that too. Nine times out of 10, their everyday wear would be fine.
S flew out to D’s graduation. Because he’s a big boy and not a baby, he asked ahead of time what he needed to bring / what events were there and again because he’s a big boy it just isn’t going to kill him if a nice dinner calls for a shirt and khakis. He’s raised to believe that that’s no big deal, not whine that it’s a Huge Imposition and why can’t he wear hoodies and sweatpants everywhere. He now has a job that calls for business dress and that will serve him well, versus the Dressing Decently is Such a Life Ordeal crowd.
We’re there no stores where this young lady could have purchased a pair of jeans? I’ve been on a couple of trips…and I pack extremely light…only a carry on and tote. My motto is “there are stores”.
I went away a couple of years ago. The weather forecast was for temps in the 60’s so I packed long pants and shirts with sleeves. Well guess what? It was in the 80’s. So I went to a store and got some sleeveless shirts…and shorts.
If the parents felt the clothing was so “off” couldn’t they have gone to some store someplace and gotten pants?
This argument is so old that I actually had to write a 9th grade essay taking both sides of “Clothes make the man.” Some of all this leans to an idealistic egalitarianism I don’t believe exists in a perfect state. We all judge.
True. We all judge. But we also choose where we draw the line in our own lives. It’s not about Dressing-Decently-Is-An-Ordeal. Personally, I just don’t want to mindlessly do things, because it’s the ‘norm’. Flattering? Cute? Fashion? What does it all mean? It varies not just from century to century, but year to year; not just from country to country, but person to person. I find it all completely meaningless (other than some basics - clean, not over-exposed). I never wore jeans in my public high school and dressed up a lot - why not? Why should I try to fit? I wear what I like on me, not what’s arbitrarily considered ‘flattering’. Some days I will wear a dress. Some day Bermuda shorts. Some days workout clothes. I wear no makeup, because I like my face as is. I wear no hair products, even though my hair is somewhat frizzy.
That’s my line. I will respect dress codes at work and other people’s events and venues, as long as it doesn’t completely clash with me (wouldn’t wear something super revealing, etc.) But in my private life, l will wear what I like/want - whether it’s cute/fashionable/flattering to the minds of those around me, is irrelevant, one way or the other, whether I am overdressed or underdressed or don’t stand out. My goal is not to fit in with trends, nor to avoid them. That’s my line.
P.S. I also wouldn’t waste money to buy jeans for one informal dinner. Geez.
@acollegestudent You’re absolutely right. It’s not my god-given right, which is why I dress appropriately for the occasion. A big part of owning and running a restaurant is creating an ambiance with the decor and the food - I think that diners have an obligation to respect that. I don’t think it’s okay for the well dressed maitre’d to escort me through a lovely dining room to a beautiful table set with fine linens and china…with me in grimy jeans or running shorts and sneakers. It’s disrespectful to the staff and to the other diners to show up inappropriately dressed.
Even if they don’t have a “clear dress code” meant to enforce what common sense should dictate. Adults shouldn’t need to be told what to wear, or what not to wear.
The jeans could be used long after the one informal dinner ended. I didn’t suggest getting the jeans to only wear one time. But really, if they were NEEDED, they could have been gotten.
^^^No, if it’s important to the restaurant, they will have a dress code. You are projecting. I have been fortunate to dine at some fantastic, upscale restaurants (and I do often dress up), but never have I cared what anyone else is wearing. I’d rather they be comfortable. Nothing wrong with sneakers.