“Because the family was seating next to us and the hubbub coming from the table caught my attention. Her family members were FILMING her waving her hand around-not taking photos, FILMING it. It was the size of the marbles kids play with. HUGE, And they did this two separate times, much to-do about it. Now, I suppose it could have been a fake, but I doubt anyone would go to that much trouble over a CZ.”
Sounds like she was displaying it to people who were excited to see it - “waving it around” implies showing it off to people who don’t care. I agree it’s unusual to film a ring - and a bit much - but when you said wave it around I got the sense of showing it to people who don’t care for the purpose of bragging and that doesn’t appear to be the case if they, too, were excited.
“No, they are fine, but it just irritates me when someone makes a pronouncement like “sneakers are inappropriate” especially when they happen to be super fashionable at the moment.”
Nice try but didn’t I specifically reference then in the context of “as a 50 yo woman. If I were to go someplace and not know where the day would take me ,”? Don’t say that I said sneakers were inappropriate. It was the short gym shorts that I thought were imprudent.
Acollegestudent - I find your posts every bit as narrow minded and judgmental as you persist in accusing others of being. You’ve made it clear in multiple threads that you think anyone who has the slightest interest in clothes or cosmetics is a shallow moron. You are very young and I sense some definite insecurity.
“do agree that it’s nice to be dressed at a level appropriate to the occasion most of the time. I just don’t agree that her wardrobe was inappropriate for the purposes of airline travel or a summer orientation.”
Again, it’s not that it was inappropriate. It was that it wasn’t the wisest choice not to have a default pair of jeans / long pants. Because that’s all we are talking about. Jeans. Not dressing like a fashionista.
If she had brought a full tune of toothpaste on her carry-on and had to throw it out at security, we’d all say - oh! Not the end of the world, but someone should have warned her that it’s better to bring a travel size tube. it’s just about being smart and prepared for eventualities. That’s all.
Really tired of how a thread about appropriateness gets transmogrified into the “oh, well, I’m just soooo above being a fashionista” because this wasn’t about that at all.
I tend to casual, but every now and then I remember Dorothea Lange’s picture of the poor and displaced in the Great Depression. As devastated as they were, they dressed themselves with dignity. Their culture required a formality that reinforced values such as equality, cleanliness, dignity, and care to detail.
Lots of college students wear pajama pants during the day. So, if she had worn pajama pants on the plane and packed only pajama pants and tanks for the weekend, would that have been a) smart or b) foolish? How does this scenario differ from the gym shorts one?
Actually, I agree with you, @oldfort, under normal circumstances. But these weren’t normal circumstances.
My son went to a college that had a summer orientation that was probably similar to the one that this young woman attended. It was an intense, exhausting two-day marathon that involved extensive social activities, more serious events like placement tests and course registration, and lots of walking from place to place in hundred-degree heat. He was utterly wiped out when he came home – which pretty much matches the description the OP gave of the young woman and her parents. (There’s usually a parent orientation to accompany the one for the students, which is less intense but does involve some tiring events such as a walking tour of the campus no matter how hot it is.)
Would I expect a young adult to go out to dinner with people she doesn’t know under ordinary circumstances? Sure. Would I expect it of one who’s just lived through a summer college orientation? No. I would expect the kid to crash.
On the way home from his orientation, my son fell asleep in the car. Sitting up. (Fortunately, I was the one who was driving.) He would not have been capable of going out to dinner, even at McDonalds.
I totally agree with you about buying pants…but if the OP was that upset about the clothing, and the family really wanted to go to the Thai place (that the OP really felt needed pants, not sorts), the option of getting different pants was there.
I understand that the OP expected the kid to be in different clothes. But the purpose of this trip was NOT dinner out. Dinner out with the OP sounds like it was planned well after the family arrived at their destination.
The easiest way to solve this for the future is to say…we would love to take you out to one of our favorite FANCY restaurants while you are here. Then everyone could have brought fancy clothes. And yes…slacks and a nice shirt can be viewed as fancy by many.
I agree. I’ve always taught my kids to pack versatile clothes. When my son travels he takes a couple pairs of shorts (the kind worn with a belt), a pair of khakis, a leather belt, boat shoes and sneakers, a button up shirt and tie, a sweater, and a couple tee shirts. My daughter takes a couple pairs of shorts, a skirt or simple dress, a pair of cotton pants, a belt, flats and sneakers, a button up shirt, a couple tees, a sweater, and a simple earrings/necklace set. They can get several different looks with just a few simple pieces that can be dressed up or down. When you consider you’re wearing one of the outfits to travel in, you’re not really packing that much.
I keep telling my son that he should use Sperrys or similar as casual shoes, because they can go just as casual as sneakers but they can go up a notch too. He doesn’t seem to bite
Actually in the spirit of what I want my kids to know - since my H is pretty much hopeless on this dimension, I’ve had my father take my son shopping and model for him - this is a nice casual outfit that is still fully casual for when you’re taking a girl to the movies but it looks like you put in a little more effort. I don’t know how much of it sunk in but we do joke WWGDW - what would granddad wear.
I think the OP did better by adapting the plans to meet the needs of the guests. I think this was much more considerate than putting an exhausted family into a situation where they would have to go shopping.
I realize above that I’m not suggesting my S dress like a 73 yo man! My dad was in the fashion business, though, and has a very innate sense of style - whether casual or dressy. He would be a great advisor to a young man on what he should wear to be elegant and always appropriate yet not stodgy or dull.
Yes. The closer you are to the margin, the more the little details of dignity in one’s personal presentation matter. The way you dress shows respect for yourself, your companions, and the occasion. To not care about dress and grooming isn’t some big virtue like some make it out to be.
“There’s usually a parent orientation to accompany the one for the students, which is less intense but does involve some tiring events such as a walking tour of the campus no matter how hot it is.)”
Barring a physical disability or injury, the day I can’t walk around a college campus for a few hours without becoming overly tired will be a sad, sad day. the day after my D graduated, we went back to the campus for D to officially say goodbye. The grandparents rested in a cafe while the four of us hiked around the lake and this hilly campus for two hours, and it was hot out. It wouldn’t be a good mark on my fitness if that would tire me out! That just sounds so old!
“The closer you are to the margin, the more the little details of dignity in one’s personal presentation matter. The way you dress shows respect for yourself, your companions, and the occasion. To not care about dress and grooming isn’t some big virtue like some make it out to be.”
We all tend to undervalue the things we aren’t good at. I undervalued athletic ability for years because it was easier to look down and say “that’s not important” than to admit I didn’t have the skills to be athletic.
@Pizzagirl, when I said this, I thought it was the most likely explanation for the parents being wiped out, as the OP observed that they were. But it could have been jet lag. It could have been concerns about issues that arose at the orientation, such as their daughter not getting into the classes she wanted or finding out that there was a problem with important paperwork such as her housing registration. It could have been lots of things.
"Acollegestudent - I find your posts every bit as narrow minded and judgmental as you persist in accusing others of being. You’ve made it clear in multiple threads that you think anyone who has the slightest interest in clothes or cosmetics is a shallow moron. You are very young and I sense some definite insecurity. "
I am not THAT young - I am almost 30. The insecurity part is an obvious dig that I won't dignify with a response.
I have never said that anyone who finds interest in clothing or cosmetics is a "shallow moron." What the? Never would I say that, not to mention that my best friend from college wears make up and loves to dress up, and she is an amazing human being not a "shallow moron." Geez. I challenge you to find that in any of my posts. My only point has always been that people should be free not to take any interest in this stuff, without being called boorish or any other things that inevitably come up.
I find your posts mean-spirited and angry, and sometimes outright vicious.
With the overweight/obesity rate in America, appropriate clothing styles are bound to be evolving. Gone are the mad-men days of tailored tops and dresses with fitted bodices and pants with waistbands and belts. It is actually not surprising that fashion de rigueur is elastic-waisted gym clothes and oversized T-shirts.
