is it long enogh?

<p>my grandpa has cancer and last semseter my grades fell C's and a D instead of A's and B's (and maybe a C) So I wrote a letter to my GC is it long enough should more info be there?</p>

<p>The reason for my low grades this last semester is that in October 2005 my family received word that my grandfather has been diagnosed with cancer of the lymphoidic system, which at the date of this letter, has spread to his respiratory system as well . This certain branch of cancer, is one of the most aggressive and lethal. It has less than a five percent survival rate. His doctors give him anywhere from six months to three years to live.</p>

<p>Needless to say, this has effected all areas of my life—including school—I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately., and I have found it hard to concentrate in class, as I am worried about him. If you could pass this information along to the colleges I am applying to, I would appreciate it greatly.</p>

<p>I am sorry to hear about your situation, but what advice are you asking for? I'm not sure what you question is.</p>

<p>I wrote the letter so my GC can explain my low grades. I'm asking if I should add more.</p>

<p>I, too, am very sorry about your grandfather and your very difficult situation. In addition to the letter, I would make an appointment to meet with your GC to discuss the situation. I would also alert your teachers of what's going on and see if they can accommodate you in any way such was being able to do extra credit or make up some of the work. Best to you.</p>

<p>I've told my teachers, and they allow me to keep my cellphone on during class.But the letter is ok then?</p>

<p>Wabash, wait to see if the posters who know you best and also are among the most knowledgeable re admissions and special circumstances come here to advise. I'm sure they will and I would rely most on them. I wonder, along the lines of ColumbiaMom's post, have you spoken with your GC re this? (Or perhaps you are at one of those large schools where the GC is overburdened and hardly knows the kids?) My own advice would be colored by the answer to this question.</p>

<p>ok I will. I have spoken to my GC about this (in passing, not formally) I go to a large public school and I think I lnow my GC better than most kids</p>

<p>bump, for wabash</p>

<p>bump for me</p>

<p>Wabash, First, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I will add him to my prayers.</p>

<p>However, I'm confused a bit - Did you write this to give to your guidance counselor so that he/she can let the schools know your family situation? Or are you intending to send it to the schools yourself directly?</p>

<p>In either case, I think you need to be a bit more specific about how this has resulted in your drop of grades. Have you had to spend time traveling to be with your grandfather and thus missed school? Have you had to do extra time-consuming chores around the house because your parent has had to spend time with your grandfather, resulting in less time available to study? </p>

<p>While I am sure that admissions officers understand the stress of a close family member being ill (and I certainly do as well), many kids have grandparents, and even parents, struggling with major health problems and their grades do not necessarily drop as a result. </p>

<p>My concern, therefore, is that some admissions officers may see this letter as just excuse making if you send it yourself and perhaps even wonder if you will have difficulty dealing with stress in other areas of your life. I think, therefore, that it would be best for your guidance counselor to let each of the schools know your family situation, rather than sending this letter yourself, and, if possible, it would be helpful if you could give your guidance counselor some additional concrete examples of how this has affected your ability to perform up to standards this semester. Coming from your guidance counselor, it is likely to avoid any risk of sounding like you're just making excuses, and he can also reassure the schools that this is not the way you deal with everyday, more minor stressful situations, but truly an extraordinary event in your life.</p>

<p>Best wishes to you and your family.</p>

<p>no, i was not planning on mailing it myself. i think i might go and talk to my gc formally. no hospital (yet) he's doing kemo etc. its just so sudden!</p>

<p>OK, good. Again, give your GC as much to work with as possible, even if it is just saying that in addition to worrying you have had to spend increased time with him (if true of course) - and specifically ask him to say that your most recent grades in no way reflect your ability or past record and that you do well with everyday stress. In other words, ask him to stress that this is an exceptional event.</p>

<p>I am sorry about your grandfather - cancer can be so scary, especially for someone young to witness. I hope you will find ways to cope with the worry and stress as it will help you over the weeks and months to come. It might, for instance, help if your GC could connect you with other kids at your school who are going through, or have been through, similar things. You might also call the American Cancer Society chapter near you and see if there is any sort of support group for people your age who have close relatives facing cancer. I know from personal experience that it helps to know you're not the only one facing something like this. And, don't be afraid to tell your parents how scared and worried you are about your grandfather - they can help you figure out how much information you need or want to know. Or, if that's not possible, share your feelings with a trusted teacher, your guidance counselor, your pastor, or another trusted adult. I found that it really helps to talk about your feelings and fears in a safe environment. I suspect your grandfather would be upset to know how much worry this is causing you, so as a gift to him try to be brave, find ways to cope, and not let this consume you. Most importantly, don't miss the opportunity to tell him how much he means to you and how much you love him, even if you can only do so in a letter. My love to you ---</p>

<p>I'm scared to share my feelings w/ my parents and scared to ask for help with the letter becuse I fear that they will see it as an exsuse of poor performance</p>

<p>Wabash, you misunderstood what I was saying. I am not telling you to show the letter to your parents, but rather to talk to them about your fears and worries regarding your grandfather's health situation. They may not understand just how much this upsetting you, and they need to know so you and they can decide how to help you handle the situation. If you can't share your fears and worries with your parents, for whatever reason, find another trusted adult to talk to, or look into support groups for kids facing family members having cancer (the American Cancer Society would be one place to start).</p>

<p>I know that when my mother was very ill with cancer and a neurological disease that both of my children were very unsettled and nervous, but they didn't want to let me know how they were feeling because they thought it would make things even harder for me. When my daughter finally admitted just how scared and worried she was, it actually helped me in the end because I now understood some of the unusual things she and my son were doing that I hadn't understood before. We talked together about how much information they wanted to know, and what might happen, and that helped both of my children cope better with the situation.</p>

<p>You DO NOT have to, nor should you, go through this alone. If you are upset enough that your grades are dropping and you're having trouble sleeping, you need to get some help and support, either from your parents, a trusted adult, or a support group for kids in similar situations.
Do not let this go on without finding the support you need. There is no shame in asking for it.</p>