<p>Hands down, the most frustrating thing I’ve had to deal with this year (besides managing my rather heavy senior year coursework) is the feeling of alienation from my friends. Freshmen and sophomore year was an absolute blast with my friends. We had so many laughs and fond memories, and even if one of us wasn’t feeling quite normal that day, we would forgive them, support them if needed, and let them recover until they were themselves again. </p>
<p>But now that I’m a senior in high school and spent more time with my friends, I can feel that everyone… has changed. Of course, this applies to me too, and everyone is probably changing as they are finding themselves, but I can tell a lot of my friends are not exactly the same people as I knew them back in freshmen year or middle school. For example, I used to hang out with two other girls and teachers would always know us as “that one trio” and we would always do projects together because we would have so much fun bounding ideas off of each other and making projects so crazy awesome teachers would know to expect something cool from us. Now? One of them is too busy talking to another group of friends to seem to notice me, and the other always makes me feel like I shouldn’t be talking to her because she always seems to purposely talk to me only when necessary, and whenever she’s around other people, she’s so happy and joking and over the top and… everything, and I just can’t create that same atmosphere with her around. It’s like she doesn’t really want to talk to me anymore.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that all my friends have been like this. I have had very interesting friends this year, yet I don’t talk to them as much as I’d like to. One of which is this guy in my English class who appears to be a total jerk and ALWAYS ends up arguing with his best friends (in a friendly way, of course), but he’s a good guy deep inside. Another is a very shy girl who is secretly snarks at people whenever she has the chance. It’s weird because we kinda don’t look like we have much in common, but we do. And when I’m with people like them, it’s like I don’t have to worry if I am really their friend or not, because I know I am their friend. I’m comfortable with them and we don’t have to care what the world says when we’re together. </p>
<p>Too bad I can’t say that with some of my old friends anymore. </p>
<p>Before anyone says anything, let me say that I have tried to reconnect with the old friends through various methods. I’ve tried talking to them more, I’ve tried hanging out with them more, and I have tried finding friends who possibly have the same interests/ideas/etc as me. However, sometimes I feel like the more the year has went on for me, the more I wonder if I had anything much in common with my old friends. It gets hard to talk to some of them because I really just don’t know what to talk to them about besides something stupid. Some of them also seem to lock me out of events or conversations, or tell their friends (who are also my close friends) about events, but don’t bother to tell me themselves that I’m invited too. This may or may not be unintentional, but it still feels disheartening at times. It’s like “Oh I’m having this event coming up we’ll have so much fun!” and then when I get word of it I feel like they have this attitude that says “Oh, um, you can come too if you want.” Obviously, I do want to ask why it feels like they treat me so differently from other piers, but I know I won’t exactly get a straight answer from them. </p>
<p>Is this normal, especially this late in my high school life? Has anyone else experienced this? And if so, what’s one of the best ways to try to overcome it? I really do want to believe that they are still my friends, but I don’t know if it’s right to do so.</p>