is it normal for parents to take it personal if you want to go 2 college outta state?

Parents Forum
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<p>“Many students who travel a distance away to college can only afford to go home for Christmas and the end of the school year. Would she be OK with that even if she had to stay on campus because her friends lived too far away for her to stay with them?”</p>

<p>Yes, this is so true. Our S is sad he won’t be able to come home for Thanksgiving. We can only afford to fly him home for Christmas and at end-of-year. Your folks might have to fly you to campus and NEVER see it, perhaps until graduation. You’d have to organize to ship all your stuff there or take it with you by plane alone for freshman orientation. Are YOU ready for that, emotionally?</p>

<p>My eldest S told the youngest, when he was fairly badgering us to let him apply to California ALONG WITH close-by places…"Don’t underestimate the value of the moral support of having the folks nearby [4-8 hours drive]. They can come to see you on special occasions or if you’re wretched sick will come and fetch you home by car. Nearby, you;ll have the option to come home every vacation, or travel to other friends’ homes who also drive, just for some variety. " These are all emotional considerations for your side of the equation. </p>

<p>In the end the youngest applied both near and far, so he was able to choose the best program. We only let him apply where we could afford. </p>

<p>The worst thing I’ve seen on CC is when kids apply to places their parents can’t afford, and then when they get in they think their parents are ruining their life not to let them go. The parents say it this way: “We’ll let you go to the best place we can afford” hoping to see that merit aid; but you won’t know what your award is until April 1 of senior year. And with weak grades, how could you get merit aid? So that’s why N’mom and I are asking you to work on the grades, not argue with parents now. </p>

<p>Instead of categorically refusing to apply in Ohio, why not imagine a combination of school applications, near and far, all of which your parents can support financially? Keep an open mind.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, memorize Northstarmom’s last paragraph: “If she gets the grades and scores to be able to get excellent merit aid, that may sway her parents to her side, especially if she has also demonstrated a lot of maturity and good decision making in her personal life.”</p>

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<p>My daughter is about to leave Florida tohead to Ohio to start her freshman year of college. It is about 20 hours away. In some ways we all wish that she was closer so visiting was not so difficult. But the school was such a good fit for her that the distance and the climate challenges were just things to deal with. Can you show your parents all the reasons you think it is the right decision for you. A visit really convinced all of us that this was the right choice for her. Lots of direct flights from Ohio to Florida. Lots of people who live here have relatives from Ohio. My daughter gets lots of comments about the insanity of leaving Florida to go to Ohio!! At least noone would think you are crazy come January.</p>

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<p>K. since this is all anonymous, the OP pm’d me, one of the issues is that mom wants to visit her college student ALOT and wants the college student to go home ALOT…doesn’t want to cut that cord</p>

<p>SO for those that say, well, stay close to home, whats the big deal, sometimes a person needs that distance otherwise mom will say, hay, its only 2 hour drive, come home, with all the guilt to go along with that, or I am coming up this weekend, be ready</p>

<p>Often is is a combination of reasons, and often a student needs that physical distance to have the emotional space to grow up</p>

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<p>my Niece, now a nurse, did PT studies in college, she didn’t take all the hardest, most rigorous courses in HS, she had just come from Ireland, she found all the courses she needed in her college…she did PT work while taking classes, and switched to nursing, no AP classes, no advanced Calc, this idea that you must take the tops in everything in HS is just getting old…she should of course work hard so she is prepared for the work in college</p>

<p>my neice did a lot of work with athletes are her school…and was just very smart about her courses</p>

<p>why the negativity, we don’t know all the reasons behind the student’s interest in Florida, but you know, sometimes parents have motives as well that need to be looked at</p>

<p>ANd it is not to early to start the discussions, so there are no surprises, if it is $$, mom and dad need to be straight up about what they can and are willing to do, so the applicant nows the reality, better now, then beginning of senior year when its all crazy making anyway</p>

<p>both my Ds started thinking early in HS about what options were out there, and we talked about what we financially could do</p>

<p>seens in this case, its not just money, its letting go and seeing child go across the country and parents need to be honest with child and themselves how much of either one is what they are basis their wishes on</p>

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<p>^^^That’s an important piece of information. I can understand why the OP wants to go. But choose a place FOR YOU … don’t just “get away.” You have a lot of time, so just concentrate on doing well in school for now. You can leaf through college books at the library or Borders in the meantime. Good luck.</p>

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<p>And as far as whether or not it’s “normal” is concerned, there is no such thing! Everyone is different. My D is going to school 13 hours from home, and I have no problem with that (yes, I’ll miss her … but this is what she wants to do, so I support her). I have friends who can’t imagine “allowing” their kids to go so far away. My D has friends who wouldn’t dream of going anywhere that isn’t an easy drive home. And there’s my friend who left her kids here in the states while she & her husband moved half a world away. The world is interesting because we are all different!</p>

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<p>I found info about what to do to prepare for physical therapy careers. This advice can help you now:
"Understand that you will need a bachelor’s or master’s degree in physical therapy, and that it will include numerous science courses, including chemistry, biology and physics. You should begin taking these science courses in high school.,Maintain an excellent grade point average. The physical therapy field is highly competitive. "</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.ehow.com/how_17701_become-physical-therapist.html[/url]”>http://www.ehow.com/how_17701_become-physical-therapist.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>More advice, this from the University of Indianapolis:
"What can I do to help me learn more about physical therapy?</p>

<p>You should work or volunteer in various health care settings to see how physical therapists and other health professionals work. Examples of settings include hospitals, outpatient clinics, nursing homes and rehabilitation centers. You should observe the type of care physical therapists give, as well as talk with them about their careers. What do they like best? What frustrates them most? What changes do they foresee for the profession in the future?</p>

<p>What high school courses should I take in preparation for physical therapy?</p>

<p>Becoming a physical therapist requires a strong math and science background in high school. Taking math and science courses in high school—including advanced algebra and trigonometry, chemistry, biology and physics—will prepare you for success in similar courses in college. </p>

<p>How long does it take to become a physical therapist?</p>

<p>Students who wish to become physical therapists generally complete 3 to 4 years of undergraduate education, followed by 3 years of physical therapy school at the graduate level. This means that a total of 6 to 7 years of university-level education is required.</p>

<pre><code> At the University of Indianapolis the degree awarded on completion of the Professional PT program is the Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT) degree. Students who desire a shorter route into the field should consider physical therapist assistant programs, which require only 2 years of undergraduate education."
</code></pre>

<p>Considering the OP is just entering junior year, I think it’s way too early to make college decisions based on her mom’s saying that she plans to visit frequently. Over the next year, her mom’s plans may totally change. Even if the OP goes to college in Ohio, the mom may not visit much because, frankly, there’s not a heckuva lot for parents to do at most colleges except for during family weekend.</p>

<p>In addition, unless the parents are well off, they may have to watch their pennies while sending a student to college, so frequent trips out of town, even in state, may not be affordable.</p>

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<p>This is from a Floridian…
There are admittedly many reasons to avoid coming to Florida for college, but do not let hurricane avoidance be one of them. When storms come, only those within several miles of the beaches are evacuated. If, on the off chance your campus dorm is evacuated (some inland dorms will evacuate because of age/safety reasons), they will find shelter for you. It’s a matter of 24-48 hours at most. Only if your dorm and enough campus buildings get destroyed (like in Louisiana) will you end up going home. You wouldn’t be able to get out anyway! (Anyone who has tried to evacuate Florida before a 'cane knows it’s a parking lot out there.) On the other hand, my bro in NC has had more problems with hurricanes than I have!</p>

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<p>Since CGM posted that the OP says a reason she wants to go out of state is that her mom plans to visit her a lot in college and also wants her to come home a lot, it seems that the OP’s parents are correct in taking personally her wish to go to college out of state.</p>

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<p>And the student is correct in wanting to get some separation for her own good. I say good luck and do what you have to for YOU. It’s your life and it starts now.</p>

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<p>A friend of mine’s dad agreed to pay for college ONLY if he went out of state. It wasn’t because they didn’t get along, but rather because the dad wanted to ensure a different experience.</p>

<p>I know a lot of kids go to school in-state for tuition reasons, and some for preferential admission. (State schools can be super-selective for out-of-state students but more accessible to in-state kids.) I can’t argue with either of those. Where those conditions are less important, though, I’d always advise that a student choose a college environment quite different than what he/she has grown up in. Small town kid? Go to an urban school. From the Pacific Northwest? Go south, or to the East Coast. In-state schools can often feel a lot like an extension of high school, particularly if lots of kids from the HS matriculate there. Absent decisive financial or admissions reasons, head out of state.</p>

<p>I also think it’s a benefit to be far enough from home to discourage frequent visits (in either direction). I’ve known college kids who head home every weekend, and even attend HS football games. I don’t think that’s a good thing. Part of the college maturation experience is learning to do your own laundry, cope with illness, etc. without Mom to fall back on. Unless the student is already unusually independent, this requires a separation of at least a few hundred miles.</p>

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<p>Our kids wanted to go to school out of state. We wanted them to go to school out of state (even though H teaches at one of our state Universities). It is our friends and acquaintances who ask why? After experiencing life in other parts of the country our kids can fully answer on their own.</p>

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<p>While going out of state can be very broadening for many students, one doesn’t need to go to college out of state to get that experience.</p>

<p>Some states are so large and diverse that one can stay in-state and get a broadened perspective. Even in small states, one can learn a lot about the world by going from an urban community to a rural one or vice versa.</p>

<p>In addition, students can learn a lot through semester abroad programs and by doing summer internships in other parts of the country or world.</p>

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<p>

Speaking from someone who went to college out of state for that exact reason, I will say that I feel like college is the best time to do it. The OP also pm’ed me and expressed her desire to get out and try something new, to escape the Midwest, to meet different people and try different things. College is a great time to do all of those things. Also, in the OP’s pm to me, she never expressed her parents having any financial concerns. More along the lines of what she told citygirlsmom, her parents just want to keep her close. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but we all have to grow up and sometimes parents just want to delay that.</p>

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<p>I think it’s important for the OP to get from her parents specific information about how much they are willing to commit to paying each year for her college education. It is always important for students to find out that info before making their college plans. </p>

<p>While there are certainly plusses to going far from home to college can have some legitimate concerns about students going far from home. For instance, parents may not feel comfortable sending far from home a student who has had academic or maturity problems.</p>

<p>There also are parents who want to keep their students close to home because the parents don’t want their kids to move far from home after graduation. Some parents think it’s important for family members to stay in close proximity with each other. One may disagree with the parents’ values, but if they are funding their student’s education, the parent can put whatever restrictions on that funding that they wish. Of course, students who wish to have a different kind of experience than their parents will fund always can seek alternate ways of funding their education.</p>

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<p>You know, I am planning to attend college in the US in a few years’ time. At first, my parents were totally against the idea. Their arguments - I would be too young to live alone, and India has good colleges. I strongly opposed this, and made them realise how much I’d gain if I went to the States and how much I’d lose in terms of experience if I didn’t. Slowly but surely, they came to see my POV. Just bring it out bit by bit, see if that works. To have the whole thing splashed in front of you can be a little unsettling at times…</p>

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<p>Quote:
Some states are so large and diverse that one can stay in-state and get a broadened perspective. Even in small states, one can learn a lot about the world by going from an urban community to a rural one or vice versa.</p>

<p>In addition, students can learn a lot through semester abroad programs and by doing summer internships in other parts of the country or world.</p>

<p>So true. Our state offers a wonderful scholarship opportunity (free tuition and fees as long as you keep a 2.5 gpa) that carries over to the National student exchange and a variety of study abroad programs. Problem is getting kids to take advantage of them.</p>

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<p>im mostly applying to colleges out of state (the only in state ones are UCs), and my parents were pretty freaked out about it. They arent too excited now, but they say it is my life and they will let me do what i want. </p>

<p>Im applying to 3 schools in canada (McGill, UBC, and Utoronto) and i am really interested in McGill. McGill and U Washington are my top choices, and my parents are always trying to talk me out of McGill. They don’t want me so far away, and they don’t want me to turn all canadian lovin, america hating. Which i wont (im not saying canadians do this, but there are many stupid teen americans who are like “canada is 10 times better than america” and when you ask them why, all they can say is free health care and that it is just better)</p>

<p>But yeah they keep on saying crap like “Well it is expensive to go to McGill. It will cost around 40k a year” which is total BS, because ive asked people and they have said u can definitely survive on like 25k a year.</p>

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<p>I’m a U.S.-born dual citizen of Canada and the U.S.</p>

<p>I’d recommend: </p>

<ol>
<li><p>Get up-to-date on the current $ exchange rate between the two countries. This might account for your parents’ perceptions of costs in Canada. FInd out whether the friends are speaking in $Canadian or $U.S., and how long ago they were there. The exchange rate is very dynamic news. </p></li>
<li><p>If you want to enjoy living in Montreal, study some French. Less essential for the other two institutions, although as you know, the country is officially bilingual. To enjoy the community of Montreal, the neighborhoods and so on, French is very helpful. Sometimes it’s the only common language between
someone from, say, Asia or Africa, and the North American. </p></li>
<li><p>Especially after seeing SICKO, it’s common knowledge that Canada has universal health care. (It’s not free; it’s universal.) What’s the difference? Canadians pay excruciatingly high taxes to achieve that health care delivery. It’s universal because everyone’s included. Sometimes the waits are longer than in the U.S., by weeks, for routine procedures here; so be intelligent when you discuss the differences. You’re so on the right track to question, with critical thinking, whether Canada might be “better” for more reasons than health care, but even in health care you can raise good critical questions to analyze it.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>I thought it was “better” because I liked walking down the street and realizing everyone was covered. But we paid for it in taxes, wait times, and the steady brain-drain departure of Canadian doctors to the U.S. I’m serious: 3 times in 9 years, I experienced going to “my” doctor in Canada, with whom I’d developed a relationship, to find while in the waiting room that he’d “given over” his practice and I’d be seen by the new doctor. Sometimes the new doctor sent notification by postcard of the change, other times not. Once I refused to be seen by the “new” doctor because of the lack of patient courtesy and my preference to research doctors. OTOH, the unbelievable saving in time/stress not to deal constantly with insurance companies is great for one’s mental health.</p>

<ol>
<li>Canadians certainly do have a love/hate relationship with America. It’s the mouse sleeping next to the elephant; if the elephant rolls over, it squashes the mouse. It’s a beautiful thing that we share the world’s longest peaceful border. I liked Canadian politeness, but even more so their ability to solve problems through consensus rather than confrontation. They consider us a violent culture because of our liberal gun control policies. The only cognitive dissonance I experienced was over race. I felt (mid-1980’s-early 1990’s) that the Canadians who called Americans racist were not confronting, sufficiently, their own racism in the form of attitudes towards the 1/3 of the nation that is neither French nor English, but immigrants from around the globe. They accept political refugees, not just economic immigrants. So, in the mid-l980’s, Toronto was home to the most Somalis anywhere in the world outside of Somalia. My perception, having lived both in South and North in the U.S., was that the Canadians were NO BETTER than the Americans on the racism scorecard, but they constantly criticized Americans for their racism. </li>
</ol>

<p>These are the kinds of interesting differences you discover from studying in Canada as an American. I wish you good fortune wherever you decide to study!</p>

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<p>Living in MI, I have visited Canada many, many times over the years. I always thought Canada was pretty much like the US, except for the bilingual signage. A couple years ago, though, my friend lived in downtown Toronto (“international” assignment for her H’s company). WOW, did I find out that Canadians are not just US’ers-only-colder. Politics, environmental concerns, attitudes toward government, etc. are just so different. It’s not that I didn’t like the differences … they just surprised me! Even living in a country so much like our own can open one’s eyes to the fact that while we often tend to believe everyone thinks like we do, they really don’t. That knowledge is important in learning to deal with an increasingly globalized world … and perhaps if more of our future leaders got out & discovered the differences in thinking, it might be a very good thing for our country.</p>

<p>Not really anything to do with the thread, but I was in the mood to pontificate!</p>