I am a freshman at a very small, socially dead LAC and probably transferring in the fall. However, I am finishing out the rest of the year at my current school. Today, I go back to school after being on break for a week, and I am not happy about it. My stomach is slightly bothering me because of it as well. And on the way back after my month-long winter break, my dad and I stopped for dinner and I was so badly dreading going back after a nice month at home that I couldn’t stomach my meal. Even after a weekend visit, and I only come home for weekends like once a month, I still feel this way on the way back Sunday night. I don’t hate being at this school, but it’s ridiculously small with very few things to do and the clubs never meet, but I have other applications and visits done. I am just hoping it doesn’t have to do with dorming, because I would have to dorm at one of the schools I would transfer to, and I don’t want to have to rule out that school. But that is a city school with tons of stuff to do on and around campus, so I think I would hopefully feel more at home there. Commuting to my current school is not an option because it’s an hour away, but even if I could commute, it still won’t give me the business degree I want since it is an LAC. I also have a pretty bad roommate, so that does not help my situation either. I’m going from being in my own spacious bedroom for a week to a box with somebody I dislike.
I can’t edit the original post anymore, but I should also add that I feel incredibly jealous of my friends that commute and really wish I could go home every night after classes like they do. I hate the fact that I am still on school grounds for the entire day and night after classes end. Again, though, I do not want to have to rule out the one school I am applying to where I would have to dorm just because of this issue, so I need to resolve it. I know that it is not normal to feel jealousy towards people that commute from home.
For what it’s worth, I always felt this way. There’s something incredibly nice and comforting about being home. After 18 years of living there and then being sent out of the nest, it’s really great to be able to go back to your old routine. I happened to love college and still felt that way. Actually, now I’m graduated and living on my own and STILL get pangs of sadness when I have to leave after visiting home.
Everyone’s going to have to move out forever at some point, so you get more practice and experience than people who are still commuting all the time. Of course it’s nice to go back and have homecooked meals and someone to do your laundry and sleep in your own bed instead of a cramped dorm. I don’t think that’s so abnormal. I think your biggest concern should be how you can get a business degree, if that’s what you want.
Sounds like transferring is the right thing. My Daughter transferred after her first semester. She was miserable at the first school, hated her living situation, hated the classes, and hated the surrounding area. She was jealous of commuters too. She’s happier now at her new school. However, I need to say that even with the transfer, she is an introvert and a home body…and as a sophomore still comes home every weekend, even though she loves her current school major and the students in the major, and has plenty of friends. She says she needs the quiet of home on the weekends after going 100 miles an hour Monday-Thurs, to practice music and think, as the dorm life doesn’t allow for that. And it works for her because the school is only an hour away. Next year, She has chosen to live in a house off campus with her own room and a basement to practice her music. I think that will greatly help with her comfort level, as she won’t be crammed in a dorm room and can have her own space. Sometimes, it takes certain kids some time to build a college life. It’s easier if, as a freshman, you like your living situation and your school, and move into a dorm with kids that match your interests and personality. But when things don’t go smoothly, if you are shy or still tentative about living away, it can be devastating to not have a comfortable dorm life and can set you up for a rough ride. My advice is to transfer, try to find a good living situation, and speak with your parents about your feelings. You are not the only freshman that is in this situation! And trust me, you will eventually learn to be independent in college. You just need the right situation that works for you. And some patience!
Thank you. I already have the applications in for transfer. I applied to 3 schools, and I can commute to 2 of those. The 3rd one is too far to commute, but it is much bigger than my current school and people generally move off campus into the city for their junior and senior years. At my current school, on campus housing is guaranteed for 4 years, and NOBODY moves off campus because the area around the school is extremely wealthy. I really feel that an apartment would be better for me. I have a great group of friends at home, there are so many amenities in and around my hometown, I miss going to dinner with my dad on Monday nights, and I miss the people at my job too. I had a very good routine there, and having no car in the middle of nowhere does not help me. I only go home once a month unless other things come up because going every weekend would make me very homesick instead of just a little. I am most homesick at night when it gets dark. Also, I am only an hour away.
It is normal. I am dreading going back to my classes this week. I love my school and the classes I’m taking, but it is hard to get back into the “school” mentality after being on a nice break, even though it was only a week long. I find that as I submerse myself in my routine, I begin to like it a little bit more. It doesn’t seem as excruciating once I get back into the routine.
When you go back, have a visit at the Counseling Center. They may be able to help you get through the res tof the semester.
I am at a tiny LAC in an isolated suburb, so claustrophobia is among one of the things I feel. There are only 1020 students altogether. I also have an extremely light workload this semester, the clubs I am in never meet, and the lounge in my building is always completely empty. Plus I do not have a car since they are not allowed here for freshman.
It is totally normal. It sounds like a transfer is in order. That too is not unusual. Many students discover that a school is not a particularly good fit anymore.
I found it interesting that you were jealous of the commuters. Commuters are jealous of those in the dorms as they feel that are denied the “college experience”. I guess the grass is always greener…
Best of luck
I would rather commute to school no matter where I attend if it is possible, but I don’t mind living on campus as long as I can keep busy, but this school is dead. Plus, I am interested in studying finance, and I thought that Econ at a LAC would be comparable to finance at a regular university, but it’s much more about the principles than the applied stuff.