<p>I’m no parent, but I’d like to hear your perspective.</p>
<p>Recently, we had a (white male) substitute in my AP Gov class. As he calling attendance, he does something that ****es me off a little. He goes through the list of names, and every time he sees a name that is not “normal” sounding, he asks about their ethnicity. Naturally, white and most asain/ students don’t get asked this. However, middle eastern, Indian and African (Parents born in Africa) do get asked. It went something like this.</p>
<p>Sub: Oh interesting. Do you know about the political tension and terrorism going on in Nigeria?</p>
<p>Me: “Not really…”</p>
<p>Sub: “Well…”</p>
<p>This went all until all the names were called</p>
<p>I was the kid from Nigeria (Parents are immigrants), and I felt really uncomfortable. I didn’t want to answer his stupid questions, but that would have made me stand out even more. </p>
<p>I’m pretty sure the Sub was at least a slight nutjob. He completely ignored the instructions left by our teacher, and went on a 35 minute tangent about the origins of different idioms. After the attendance he keep asking me completely random questions about idioms, and when I didn’t know, he says “Your’e and AP Student, you should know this”.
Is this approiate behavior for a Substitute?</p>
<p>I’m not a a parent either (although I do have a good ten years on you), and I don’t think it is appropriate for anyone. </p>
<p>Have I ever asked about a student’s ethnicity? Sure - if the student brought up something about English not being his or her native language, or it otherwise made sense in context. As any kind of a regular thing, it is none of the substitute’s business, and unnecessarily distinguishes between kids who fit preconceived notions of American, or Western, identity, and those who don’t. </p>
<p>It is also silly - when I was in high school, most Chinese immigrants and first-gen kids adopted or were given typical American names, while most Indian kids didn’t. My parents and some grandparents were born in this country, and if I ever have children, I would strongly consider giving them Hebrew names, as a number of people in my community have done (and not just super-common ones like Yael or Moshe). As this suggests, there are plenty of people BORN in the US that might have ethnic name, which means asking where a student with an unusual name is from is particularly offensive.</p>
<p>There are enough nutjobs who end up as substitute teachers, that someone really ought to write a book about their beezare behavior.
Luckily, they are almost never given a contract, but it is mystifying how they get into the sub pool in the first place.</p>
<p>Just to throw another perspective into the mix here. My last name is unusual and I am frequently asked how to pronounce it and where I’m from. Well, it turns out it’s my husband’s name and it’s British. And, yes, it’s odd. But not a big deal. It may be genuine curiosity and I don’t know why in the world where are you from would be offensive. Usually, they say something like, “Oh, it’s very pretty.” Relax.</p>
<p>The problem with the question “where are you from,” unless you know that the person in question is foreign born, is that it assumes that someone who looks a certain way or has a certain name is not American, while assuming that people with more typical American features or names (namely European ones) are. </p>
<p>“Where is your family from” or “What kind of name is that?” is a better substitute, but even then it really isn’t appropriate to ask in the way that the OP described. It is one thing if the substitute asked one student with a particularly unusual name (i.e, more unusual than just an obviously Asian or African name) about the origin, but not to go down a list and single out all of the “foreign” students.</p>
<p>Oh please, I am asked all the time about my name and it isn’t even my original name; it’s my husband’s. I am then asked why it is pronounced that way. No one means any harm. They are interested. And I might be the only one in a room asked those questions. Why are you looking for insults? Be proud of who you are and educate him.</p>
<p>Many times I hear “with that last name you must be from XXXX and if you are not, has anyone every told you that you look like you are”</p>
<p>I am not offended, I am proud. Some might feel more put on the spot than offended. Like many, I am always curious about people’s heritage and customs - that is what makes America such a great place to live!</p>
<p>I think we worry too much about being politically correct. It’s gotten to the point where everyone tip toes around and “worries” about ulterior motives. I find it a tad stifling. Perhaps the teacher should not have brought up the political tension, but being interested in why someone has a particular name or where they are from…doesn’t bother me.</p>
<p>When people have unusual last names others will often ask them the origin, that is not uncommon. My last name is Italian in origin, but it isn’t typically Italian sounding, and people will ask what it is. </p>
<p>The description the OP gives me pause if he targeted certain names or apparent ethnicity like that, that sounds a bit different, sounds like he was looking for the differences. Personally, working in a very multi ethnic industry, where we have people from all over the world, asking things like ethnic background would be appropriate, though we often do ask how to pronounce names, so we aren’t butchering them:)</p>
<p>^thats how i feel. It would be different if he asked EVERYONE in the class, John Smith included. Who knows if John Smith is polish, german, or whatever? He only asked kids whose names you don’t see everyday. It wasn’t about gaining cultural awareness of our school diversity, it about picking on the kids who are.</p>
<p>Give some feedback to the teacher for whom he substituted. Teachers want to know and can request particular subs when they know s/he is dependable as well as decline bad ones. Sorry you got a loser!</p>
<p>I don’t think the teacher meant any harm at all. Just interested. I wouldn’t recommend anyone doing this simply because I do believe that political correctness has gone too far, and there are people who take issue like the OP. Doesn’t bother me a bit. People have often asked about my ethnicity. My MIL has always been interested in sur names and their origins. She might have her issues, but she’ asking only out of interest.</p>
<p>Are you kidding me? Why would he ask John Smith. He knows that John Smith is the run of the mill American. He realized that you were interesting. He wasn’t demeaning you. Take it as a compliment. You are not boring! Do you really think he should ask 30 kids their ethnic background? Would you have been insulted if he had asked the white kids those questions and ignore you? I enjoy when people ask me questions about my background.</p>
<p>sweetcupcake: I vote inappropriate in this context. The intent or motivation of the questioner doesn’t impact the inappropriateness of the action. imho</p>
<p>Students should be treated as uniformly as possible. No one should be singled out unnecessarily. It would have been okay - maybe- if the substitute had asked all students to explain their surname, their ethnicity, and country of origin… or if the sub had gone around the room and asked the class to introduce themselves and say a little about themselves. I am not sure about that. That may still be a situation where some are singled out and I’m conflicted. In your scenario, a few students are treated as “other” and that is inexcusable. I am also not sure how I feel about the appropriateness of the substitute discussing a foreign political situation in this particular context.</p>
<p>Maybe “offensive” is too strong, and I certainly don’t think the substitute - or anyone else who asks such questions, has ill-intent. But curiosity about someone’s ethnicity shouldn’t come at the expense of “othering” or exoticizing them. If you get to know a person, the topic will come up at some point anyway, but until then, unless there’s some contextual reason, or unless you’re asking EVERYONE about where they/their families came from, it just creates unnecessary distinctions.</p>
<p>I’m also just not sure what the point is unless there is room for further discussion. If someone has an ethnic African name and very dark skin, I’m going to assume that probably they or their parents come from Nigeria or Ghana or Kenya. Does it really matter, for the purposes of idle curiosity, which it is?</p>
<p>My mom gets this question all the time because her maiden name is so unusual (we’ve literally never met a single other person with her name). She goes by her maiden name at work and she’s got blonde hair and blue eyes (and from Spain with a Hungarian last name so there’s a story lol). </p>
<p>While I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate to ask where your family name is from, I do think it’s inappropriate to assume that you know what’s going on in your ancestral country. I don’t know two licks about what’s going on where my mom and her family is from. I didn’t grow up there… she did. </p>
<p>I worked at a school that was entirely immigrants/refugees. The first graders would answer like this during roll call for a sub “I am X, I’m from X, and I speak X (usually not the real name of their native tongue)”. It was cute. Tangential to this story…</p>