I just found out today that I got a 36 composite score on the ACT, and I am ecstatic. I sent the screenshot and a message in a group chat with my closest friends because I was super shocked and I wanted to share my happy news with them (news would get out eventually, so I didn’t want to hide anything or do anything that would cause others to distrust me).
At first, a lot of people responded with simple congratulatory texts, but then other friends started commenting that I shouldn’t have sent it out. They said that it puts pressure on them and that it’s just an act of boastfulness and that I don’t deserve a perfect score because I’m not going to be val/sal/top 5 in my grade level anyway (those friends probably will be).
I was really happy this morning, and now I’m upset. I don’t know if my so-called friends were jealous or if I shouldn’t have actually sent it out? Maybe I should’ve just kept it to myself?
First congrats. But, yes, posting in a big group message was a tiny bit self absorbed. Ok to share your excitement with a few of your very close friends is normal, but beyond that is sort of rude. Also not sure how “news would have gotten out eventually” unless you are the one to share it.
That said your score should in no way be putting “pressure” on anyone else and your score or anyone’s score is completely unrelated to val/sal/top 5 status so that is them just blowing smoke.
Yes, congratulations. Your excitement is understandable.
What’s done is done, but yes, a screen shot was over the top. If “a lot of people” responded then this was not a group chat with your closest friends–and those 2 or 3 people are the only people you should have told, preferably in person after someone else brought up the topic.
Agree. Congrats on the great score but IMO sending a screen shot to a group of friends was a bit too much and can be seen as bragging. Consider how you would feel if you had worked hard studying for the ACT, were disappointed with your score, and before you had time to regroup someone set that screen shot to you. Going forward try to: 1) be considerate of how others are doing/feeling and 2) understand that not every accomplishment needs to be put out to a group on social media.
Good luck with the rest of the college application process.
Congrats on that! Very hard to get a perfect score. But yeah saying that to too many people will seem like bragging cause it might make others think they’re not as smart and make them feel worse. Test scores, etc. anything related should be private for the most part
@labegg our school does press releases and perfect scorers get honored at school board meetings, so students and/or their parents who keep up with the news will obviously know. in reality, i didn’t want to tell a single person except my parents, not even my siblings, but my mom forced me to post it somewhere online.
@labegg@LuckyCharms913@happy1@logster26 the group chat had 12 people, who i believed were all my close friends as this chat’s existed since middle school… additionally, i’m the first person out of all 12 of them to take the ACT, so i guess they felt like not only did i take it early, but i posted it online which could be interpreted as bragging. however, when one of them got an 800 on a subject test, every single person in the chat congratulated them, so why are these hypocritical people criticizing me this time? am i missing something here?
bottom line is i’d never thought that so many people who were my best friends would turn a blind eye or criticize something that’s supposed to be happy? if one of them got a perfect score, i’d congratulate them without a doubt. maybe that’s just me?
My comment still holds. Be happy about your accomplishment, learn from what happened, and move on. This is a long, difficult, and at times emotional process
@fluffybear that’s awesome!!! Congratulations on a perfect score. IMO sharing with your inner circle in a group chat is ok. 15 is a typical group chat amount for high schoolers. Sorry that you got some bad feedback but don’t let that take away from your amazing accomplishment. Relish in it as I’m sure you prepped well to attain that score. My son got his score too and he shared it in his group chat…no backlash but then again he didn’t get a 36! Great job!
“…but then other friends started commenting that I shouldn’t have sent it out. They said that it puts pressure on them and that it’s just an act of boastfulness and that I don’t deserve a perfect score because I’m not going to be val/sal/top 5 in my grade level anyway (those friends probably will be).”
Fluffy you are being hard on yourself and you did not make a mistake. Please don’t let the other posters who say you should not have done that make you feel that way. In your thinking, the group you sent your score to is supposedly a close group of friends. That should tell
you who your real friends are because good/best friends would have been happy and congratulated you.
The salty ones you should think twice about how close your friendship is. Avoid sharing anything like a perfect score with them…trust me, those ‘friends’ you described as I requoted above are jealous, petty and feel threatened. The friends that congratulated have the right attitude.
I had a somewhat similar experience with my test scores. I believe I told no more than 5 of my classmates in person what I got, but somehow by the next day, the entire school had heard. Less than 2 days after scores were released, multiple rumors had started, basically saying that I was a liar and that my grades and test scores were all some sort of ruse. Do I regret sharing my scores? Sort of, because it’s no fun to have people gossiping about you. Was I in the wrong? No. The people who gossiped about me were. I think the same goes for you. You’re not in the wrong for wanting to share exciting news with your friends, and they shouldn’t base their personal value in test scores and how they compare to others. Now, the question is whether you will share other scores you receive in the future. For me, I decided I wouldn’t. I decided sharing a small moment of excitement with my friends wasn’t worth the social snafu. When people ask me what I got, I tell them I’m not sharing scores anymore. Usually, they understand. However, only you can decide what’s right for you
Now all these people will expect you to get into some incredibley highly ranked school, even if you can’t afford it or none of them fit what you want – or if you just don’t get in for other reasons. It is too late now, but if you’d asked ahead of time, I’d have said to tell your parents and your GC, and no one else. But you are where you are…
Take a lesson from this and don’t splash where you are applying or where you get accepted all over social media. Tell 'em on May 1 what you picked – but no one besides your parents and GC need to know more until then. Ask your parents to keep it quiet until then, too.
First, congratulations! Second, whoever told you “I don’t deserve a perfect score because I’m not going to be val/sal/top 5 in my grade”, what does that even mean" has some other problems and should be disregarded.
Thirdly, while I think their reasoning is flawed, I agree it probably wasn’t the nicest thing to do. You should be happy about your score, ecstatic about your score! But a screenshot wasn’t subtle and in my opinion, unnecessary. Test scores are very stressful during high school. A lot of people are upset with their scores, and most cannot achieve a perfect score. Everyone is constantly comparing themselves with their friends. Also, in your comment you said “if one of them got a perfect score, i’d congratulate them without a doubt”. This is really easy to say when you are on the other side, but its harder to do when you’re the one disappointed.
Moral of the story is: just be considerate when discussing scores with others.
Being humble is one of the best qualities a person can have. Your score is wonderful and it is the sort of thing to share and celebrate with parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles…adults who love and support you. Among peers…not so much. Remember, everyone is stressed about their futures and worried they won’t get into a college or the college of their choice.
Honestly, I don’t think you should’ve sent it to a group chat of 15 peers, because the college app process is so stressful and all you might be doing is making them feel worse. However, you weren’t necessarily in the wrong, because you just wanted to share an accomplishment. The person who told you you don’t deserve your score because you’re not a certain class rank or whatever is in the wrong because they obviously were trying to make you feel bad.
Just take a lesson from this. People are weird, and as humans we can react out of jealousy.
I faced something similar to this (though with a 35), and I found that the best for me was to send that type of celebratory message to friends of mine who are currently in college because they are removed enough from the process to feel genuinely excited for you without becoming anxious or resentful. I happened to have a bunch of friends who had already selected their colleges when I got my score, so I concentrated it among them. When people ask me what my score is, I tell them, but I otherwise don’t volunteer the information. (Though, with high school gossip, I’m pretty sure my score got around pretty quickly.)
Stand proud. Take a look at those on the list that are not being supportive. Its a lesson learned but sometimes we parents on CC forget that you are 16 and 17 year olds, newbies at “adulting” and decision-making. Heck, if my kid got a 36 I might have made the same mistake in my circle. If you were so inclined, you might post a “sorry, didn’t mean to offend anyone and probably should have not advertised my score – best of luck to all of you!” on the same chat.
You are young and wanted to share wonderful news. But as a young person, you didn’t anticipate the resentful and jealous feedback. My philosophy is never volunteer information for just this reason.