<p>My daughter is having escalating problems with her roommate and next door neighbors. At first they were all okay. Then they wouldn’t talk to her. Now they follow her and her friends around in a stalkerish sort of way. I really want her to see if she can move, but do you think it is too late? Three months is a long time to live under these conditions.</p>
<p>Does she want to move? She has to decide if the roommate’s/neighbor’s behavior bothers her enough to go through the hassle of moving. It sounds creepy–she should talk to the RA about what is happening. OTOH, sometimes kids vent to their moms, but the situation isn’t serious enough for them to take action.</p>
<p>Actually, I was the one who brought it up. I can see that it’s bothering her and I think it would be oppressive to live with people like that. I’m a little concerned about the safety of her belongings, her food, her self… I just don’t know anybody who behaves like that.</p>
<p>Atomom is right- a lot of times kids complain but parents make it worse than it is. I generally try to stay out of this stuff unless it is obviously over the kids head. I would wait until she says something more about it. If it comes up, I would definitely suggest that she talk to the RA- that is what they are there for. Maybe the RA has some insight that could help alleviate the problem.</p>
<p>I’m assuming from the others that she’s in a dorm? She needs to handle this situation and talk to her RA if she wants to move. You aren’t there and you are interpreting what she is telling you rightly or wrongly. If the “neighbors” are stalking her and her friends then she also has her friends to confirm inappropriate behavior, perhaps as a group they can talk to her RA or escalate if the RA is unable to cousel or handle the situation. As far as her roommate, again, the RA should be able to help sort that out.</p>
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<p>Exactly. When my girls were little and they came to me complaining about some percieved injustice, I would ask them “Do you want me to get involved? Is there something that I could do to help?” Most of the time the answer was “no”. They just wanted to vent and use me as a sounding board. A hug was what they really wanted.</p>
<p>Now that they are older, they still vent to me – usually via text. I send them {hugs}. But my question to them has changed; now it is: “Do you think you should take action? / Do you want help figuring out what to do?” The answer is still usually “no”.</p>
<p>Good advice from all - thanks! I know I shouldn’t be involved at this point. I suggested the RA meeting a few weeks ago, but I don’t think that my daughter went to her. They followed her again yesterday, so I will again suggest that she and some of her friends visit the RA.</p>
<p>BTW, I also suggested to her that she just simply ask them what the heck they are doing and why - seems like the most direct approach.</p>