Anyways, I’ve been going to the University of Texas at Austin for about 3 weeks now, and sadly I’m somehow not having a good time at the most awesome school in the country(in my mind). I’m realizing that this is mainly due to the horrible experience I had in high school (literally no social life whatsoever), and as a result, I have a pretty low EQ and not the best social skills (I can hold a conversation very well, but I have no idea how to form relationships with people). To make matters worse, I live in a dorm where literally every single person is in greek life (I lost my only bid on account of me being a “douchebag”).
Bottom line, I feel like I’m just not ready for college. Is there any way I can defer, and spend a year doing something like a travel program, so I can gain some positive life experiences?
It is only week three. You have set a very high bar by assuming your college is the most awesome in the country, and maybe thinking you are not up to snuff. Assuming you are keeping up academically, I would encourage you to keep going. Join clubs, try to meet people in classes, get a part time job, find a way to volunteer on or near campus. These are all ways to meet people if you aren’t finding friends in your dorm. And give it time. I am sure there are extroverts around you who are making it look easy. But lots of people take a while to settle in.
Honestly, a year of travel won’t build any more EQ than a year of college. You can learn to build relationships and go to college at the same time.
Go talk to your school. At my school, for example, the two offices I would try first would be a) academic advising and b) undergraduate admissions. Maybe someone else here can give a more pointed suggestion for who to talk to. But DO SO, and do it quickly. The free-drop date may have passed already.
For example, this page (http://registrar.utexas.edu/calendars/14-15) says September 12th (tomorrow) is “Last day to drop a class for a possible refund. (See General Information, chapter 4, for details.)”; but November 4th is “Last day an undergraduate student may, with the dean’s approval, withdraw from the University or drop a class except for urgent and substantiated, nonacademic reasons.”
Here’s what you don’t understand: I’m not that kinda person, I’m a privileged white kid from a well to do area, I belong in a fraternity, I should be going out thursday-saturday, I’m sheltered, I’m entitled, and above all, I think I’m better than others. I know I sound like a bad person, and I may very well be one, but at least I’m smart enough to be conscious of it. I don’t want to get into whether the way I think is right or wrong.
99% OF THE PEOPLE I’M LIKE ARE IN FRATERNITIES AND ALREADY HAVE THEIR FRIENDS. I’M NOT LIKE THE OTHER 99% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS.
Wow!!! Someone so entitled and annoying that even frats wouldn’t take him! It sounds to me like the best thing that could happen to you is a year of slumming with the non-Greek students at your school.
Well, maybe college is the first step in you adjusting your image of yourself and helping you break out of the sheltered entitlement.
You can still go out Thursday through Saturday if you want - you will just initially have to go it alone, or with some non-Greek friends (at least until you can rush. You still have three more years to do so). You say that you want to increase your EQ; one of the ways to do that is to step outside of your comfort zone and really challenge who it is you think you are. Maybe you do belong in a fraternity but you chased the wrong one.
You’ve only been there 3 weeks and it takes longer than 3 weeks to adjust to anything. Even if you had made it into the fraternity, you’d be new there, too, and adjusting to that life. Give yourself some time.
I don’t see anything that indicates that you aren’t ready for college or need a gap year. It’s completely normal to feel awkward and unadjusted only 3 weeks into the school year. And, as was already mentioned, a gap year wouldn’t really do anything for you.
Right, a gap year won’t improve your situation. Keep moving forward, and hopefully you will find your (affluent, entitled, and awkward) people. I agree that you should rush again next year. I’m guessing there was a frat that would have taken you but you didn’t want to join that one.
Like what they said, it might actually be better to take a gap year. Take some programs which might actually improve your skills or something that could also exercise your interest as well. There are a lot of options I believe you wont lack of things to do on a gap year
