<p>Ever since I transferred from a school a couple hours away to one close to my parent’s house, I’ve realized I need to move out. But it’s hard to when I only work part time and am a full-time student. The way it works with my education cost, is that I’m taking a loan out from my parents, and they are borrowing from their retirement money to pay for it while I’m still in school. My parents aren’t retired yet though and may not for 5-10 years, I’m not really sure.
I recently thought that it would all be much easier to move into my school’s dorms. I would be on my own, but still close to home for the year and a half until I transfer out of state to a school more focused on my major, and then am on my own.
I asked my coworkers for their opinion about whether I should move into my school’s dorm, and one of them thought it was a good idea. But the other, all but went off on me, saying I was selfish for making my parents pay for more and take more money from their retirement, etc. I was a bit shocked, of course I see his point of view but I will be paying them back.
After that happened, I decided I needed to move out on my own, but then there was a budget cut (it’s at my school) at one of my jobs and now my hours are less (I had expected them to increase over time) and are fairly unpredictable each term. Now I am only making around $750 a month. I’ve applied to other jobs but I don’t know how I can find a job by summer!
The reason I want to move out ASAP is because my long distance boyfriend is visiting over the summer and I don’t want anything else to get in the way of our relationship. Last winter when he visited it was difficult because my mom set down lots of rules about how long he could be over (10:30) where in the house we could be together (a common area, not my bedroom, doors open at all times). I started sneaking to his house at night until my mom found out and put a stop to it. I just don’t want there to be any more strain on our relationship! So if I’m moved out it’s best.</p>
<p>From your previous post, it looks like you transferred from an out-of-town school to one closer to home? Your parents were paying for a dorm there, right? And your mom encouraged you to stay there? </p>
<p>If you are going to pay them back, anyway, it shouldn’t be a burden on them. I would urge you to write up a formal agreement that outlines the terms of the loan - like how much you will pay them each month, and when you will be done paying them back. Then make it the FIRST check you write each month. That’s what I did when my husband and I borrowed money from his parents when we bought our first house.</p>
<p>I think it’s important to live away from home - you’ll get so much more out of your college experience. Good luck!</p>
<p>It depends on what you think is worth paying for. Dormitory housing is costly in general, but there are good reasons for living on campus, especially for freshmen. It helps them transition from living at home to on their own without taking on tasks such as shopping, cooking, commuting to school. This allows them to focus on school as well as meet new people and socialize with peers. However, not all students embrace this experience. For some, the dorm is just a place to sleep during the week, and whether or not this is worth paying for is up to them. </p>
<p>From your post, I see that one reason is to have more time with your boyfriend. Although I also have rules as a parent, I understand your feelings. However, if this is the reason, then moving into the dorms all year long might be an expensive solution as this can include buying a meal plan. Another solution might be to find an off campus apartment that you share with room mates. Still, if living at home works for you most of the time, except when your boyfriend visits, then you need to decide if this is worth paying rent for. </p>
<p>You mentioned summer, and to live in the dorms over the summer, one has to be enrolled in summer classes. One possible solution would be to try this for summer session only. Most colleges allow a student to be only signed up for summer, but If you sign up for a dorm for the school year, that contract is usually binding as long as you are enrolled for that year. Check your school housing rules carefully. </p>
<p>The bigger issue is how to live as an adult in your parents’ home, and this is often an adjustment for them and you. Other than the boyfriend, you have not mentioned other difficulties in the relationship with your parents. You have also indicated that this is temporary- only for about another year before you transfer, and that you are paying for your education. If this isn’t unbearable, then it could be logical to stay and save the money, and find another way to spend time with your boyfriend. It isn’t easy for parents to let go, but sometimes negotiations and communications help. Perhaps you can negotiate a later curfew or spending more time with him away from home. </p>