<p>You’re version of the essay is good, but a little on the short side. I’m going to add to the conclusion and then re-post</p>
<p>It’s essentially your essay. I just removed what wasn’t necessary and rephrased what was left.</p>
<p>How to Get a 12</p>
<ul>
<li>Aim for at least one and a half pages. If you can write 2 pages, props to you.</li>
<li>Create the traditional 5 paragraph essay. If you go for a 4 paragraph style, make sure to jam A LOT of details in your examples.</li>
<li>Choose 2-3 examples depending on your paragraph style.</li>
<li>Make it flow, use transitional phrases (e.g: In addition, In conclusion, etc…)</li>
<li>Use SOME SAT vocab words but don’t over do it. </li>
<li>Have a range of examples (Historical, technology, current event, etc… This shows the reader that you have a wide range of knowledge).</li>
<li>Practice your essay multiple times but only using the same 3 examples you have chosen.</li>
<li>On the test day if you go blank, just BS the essay. (e.g: During the Great Depression, John Shakalalalalala survived the…)</li>
</ul>