Is my Satisfactory Academic Progress form good enough to submit?

My first SAP form was rejected for the following reasons:

"1. Your appeal did not explain with dates/time frames the unforeseen extenuating circumstances that prevented you from being successful during the Summer 2020 term. Your appeal needs to explain why you did not withdraw before receiving “F’s” for both B term classes and why you chose to enroll in the D term class and received a “FN’s”. You must provide dates and time frames for each term.

  1. The appeal lacked a plan of action for future academic success; as it did not provide at least one academically related change or action step you will make going forward to succeed academically. Additionally, the plan of action should include an explanation of how the issues you were experiencing have now been resolved."

I have written a new form in order to try and incorporate this feedback. I am not sure whether I have done a good enough job to possibly get it approved. Here is the new form:

“As I said in my last appeal, I am deeply sorry for my regrettable performance and I am ready to improve it. I will explain the circumstances that lead to my poor academic performance. I have been in therapy for most of my life because of the early deaths of both of my parents and the emotional abuse that occurred in the various families that took in me and my siblings. In August of 2019, I moved to Lynchburg to transfer to Liberty, and my insurance plan no longer covered therapy because I was not in my home state. My financial situation did not allow for me to pay for therapy out of pocket, so I stopped going. My depression were being managed in some aspects by medication, but not in others. The medicine helped with my feelings of sadness and crying spells, but did nothing to treat the anhedonia and exhaustion. I was running on empty and my fear of failure wasn’t enough to motivate me anymore. I also was facing the increasing difficulty of my courses and was overwhelmed by it. I had the energy to submit a few assignments, but it was not enough. I hoped I had submitted enough assignments in the two online courses to pass and was honestly too afraid to check whether I had. In the past it had gotten me through by the skin of my teeth, so I actually thought I had passed until a few days before I received my notice of financial aid suspension. I determined to do better in the D term, but I did not have and/or know of resources at the time that would help me. I was planning on submitting my assignments late, but I lost track of time, and before I knew it, I had received an FN for the class.
After I received the FN for the class (in August of the current year), I was finally able to secure enough hours at my two jobs to pay for therapy. A few weeks after that, after researching how to get a new insurance plan without paying a crazy premium, I checked my eligibility for Medicaid and then was successfully enrolled in it. I hadn’t known before that I might’ve qualified for it or I would have done it sooner.
I also contacted my psychiatrist, who put me on a new medication in order to better combat my symptoms.
I will use CASAS’s resources of tutoring, academic counseling, and study skills help in order to increase my academic performance. I am dedicating more of my time to studying and working on developing better study habits. With the support of these resources as well as my therapist and psychiatrist, I will perform better this term. I no longer lack the knowledge of my resources or support from others.”

Thank you for reading all of this. I am eager to hear any constructive criticism.

I don’t think you are answering their question #1. You need to be very specific about what happened and when during the term that they are inquiring - the summer 2020…

They already have your first appeal which I assume you spelled out what happened as you did above. Forget that stuff and focus on what they are asking.

Something like this:

During the summer term 2020, I was not able to pay for much needed therapy and spiraled. I made bad decisions because of my depression and exhaustion with caused me to not submit all of my work. I did not withdraw from the class because I was too afraid to check on my progress. I enrolled for the D term because I honestly thought I could manage to get through the course work.

My plan of action for success is as follows:
I am now covered by insurance and am back in therapy, which I will continue until graduation.

I am under the care of a psychiatrist and am seeing good results from my new medication. I will continue to work with them.

I will utilize tutoring and academic counseling resources weekly.

I am now focused on my education now that my health is managed.

As an aside, I would absolutely not tell them you managed to hold down two jobs. Honestly, I would question your story if I read that and ask how you could do that but not manage school work.

Good luck to you!