<p>Tonight DH asked 15 year old son if he would like to get ribs from this greasy joint that I wouldn’t let my dog eat at.</p>
<p>Son had a long day, very involved in athletics, and is starving at 7:30 p.m. Hubby likes to eat at 9:00 p.m., so son gets a bowl of sherbert. Hubby has a fit when he sees him eating the sherbert and tells him he is being disrespectful by eating before he spends money on dinner. He tells son he will not get him dinner now. I mistakenly tell hubby this not a big deal, he’s starving now and he’ll eat his dinner too. 10 minutes later DH tells son he’ll have to wait until hubby is ready to go to get dinner. </p>
<p>Now dh is mad at son for being disrespectul, and at me because I didn’t back him up. Honestly, I think he is being completely ridiculous (didn’t say this in front of my son or hubby) and needs to pick his battles. I think it’s quite normal for teenage boys to eat all day long. </p>
<p>Oh, and by the way, son completely devoured his greasy ribs and now is avoiding his father like the plague.</p>
<p>Opinions? Was son disrespectful? Should I have backed up hubby when I thought he was being unreasonable?</p>
<p>Most people would have finished dinner by 7:30pm!</p>
<p>I get headaches if I’m hungry. I think it was appropriate for your son to eat something. He was not being disrespectful but sensible, in my opinion. If I may say so, it’s your H who is being unreasonable both in his expectation that your S would be able to hold out until 9pm and in thinking that your son is being disrespectful.</p>
<p>The only thing your son could [not should] have done differently, would be to just explain, “Hey Dad, since we won’t be going to eat for a few hours, I’m just going to grab a snack to tide me over, cus I haven’t eaten since lunch.” That’s still pretty much deciding his own course of action, which is of course what teenagers like to do, but at least then your husband knows that your son isn’t just stuffing in a bowl of ice cream to be “disrespectful.” However, I think he was being pretty reasonable only eating ONE bowl ;]</p>
<p>No, he wasn’t. You and dh needs to discuss it out of son’s earshot. My sons would never be able to hold out until 9 p.m. for dinner. Sometimes getting them to wait until 6 is a struggle!</p>
<p>My family eats around 4…plus, teens need to eat a lot, especially boys. (I’m a girl who needs to eat lots so I couldn’t imagine waiting until 9 to eat in addition to being a boy!)</p>
<p>I agree with Marite - provided we have the whole story. But this “feels” to me like there might be another layer here that’s not evident to us outsiders - like say a previous snacking incident that led to wasted food. Or even more to the “disrespectful” point, perhaps the father senses that by eating the sherbet the son is silently defying him in some way - passive aggression and all that.</p>
<p>However, if the first post really is the whole story, with no back story, then the father’s actions are inexplicable and I definitely agree with Marite.</p>
<p>In this situation, with the time issue, I agree with the above posters.</p>
<p>However, as a general rule, I agree with the OP’s husband. My mother would have never stood for us eating before dinner. My H was not taught anything likewise.</p>
<p>I work all day too. He routinely walks in, opens the cabinet and begins chomping on chips or other junk food–even if supper will be served within 15-30 minutes. I find it more than highly annoying. His excuse? “I’m hungry”. Well, so is everyone else! That’s why it’s supper! I think anyone who is 50 years old should have enough self-control and manners to wait 15 minutes instead of filling up first.</p>
<p>But it was an hour and a half before dinner. If someone is already hungry, why on earth would anyone think that person should wait another 90 minutes to eat?</p>
<p>DonnaL - Your son & my D were separated at birth. Her stomach may be permanently on the college meal schedule. No matter what time we eat dinner when she’s here, she HAS to eat something by 5:30!</p>
<p>maysixxmom, you’re right about the college meal schedule. When I was in college, the dining hall opened for dinner at 5:30. There was always a long line of kids who couldn’t wait to get in.</p>
<p>My son will fit right in. As long as there’s someplace he can go when he gets hungry again, a few hours later. And, yet, despite his appetite, he somehow manages to stay at 115 pounds. (Of course, he’s only 5’2".)</p>
<p>That’s an unusually late dinnertime. I think it’s unrealistic to expect a hungry teenager to go from lunchtime (probably about noon) until 9 p.m. without eating anything.</p>
<p>Big echo here for Marite, oldfort & zoosermom. If anyone owes anyone it’s an apology, your H should be apologizing to your son for being unreasonable.</p>