<p>I don’t get what is disrespectful about eating a snack before going out for dinner. Can you explain to me the logic behind it?</p>
<p>Parents, I swear…</p>
<p>I agree with marite BUT…recently DH was talking to a 27 year old male work colleague. Colleague asked if our 19 year old son had been a difficult teenager. DH told him not really but when DH felt DS was being disrespectful to me, DH came down on him like a ton of bricks. Basically told him “you can’t talk to my wife or any woman like that.” Colleague laughed and related a very similar story about his childhood. </p>
<p>The point is when kids hit that 15 age, particularly boys I feel it is critical that parents present a united front. I would have told my son “work it out with your dad.” I might have told my husband privately that I thought he was a bit out of line but NEVER in front of the kid.</p>
<p>Fifteen is the “talking back” age. That was true of me, that was true of my kids. I can see that you would not want to undermine your H in front of your S; but I would have a private talk with H and suggest that he might want to apologize to S for going over the top. He must realize that no disrespect was intended. S was just being hungry and that was an entirely reasonable state to be in at his age and considering that he had performed physically strenuous activities.
Respect does cut both ways.</p>
<p>I second Marite’s last comment. Mom & Dad’s discussion of the conflict should be in private and then apologies or explanations (if indeed there is more to the story) presented as a united front. Hopefully the boy can also assess the conflict and see if, in retrospect, he could have handled his actions differently. (I don’t mean for him to starve, just have a productive conversation on why seemingly innocent actions were taken as insultive.)</p>
<p>Just last night I had a huge conflict with my 17 year old that my DH could go either way on. Nonetheless, we presented the parental decision together. Even though DS wasn’t happy about what we had to say, there was no trying to “work” the parent on his side (and it was obvious I was the one who felt strongly about this). 24 hours later, everyone’s over it.</p>
<p>DH is in human resources and I’ve learned so much from him on interpersonal communications. We totally reverse the gender stereotypes. He’s touchy-feely and I do the home repair projects…</p>
<p>Your husband thinks your son was disrespectful because he was hungry and had a snack before the time your husband wanted to eat? Wow, I think you should schedule a few counseling sessions because your husband certainly has a mental problem. No one should have to wait for someone else to eat if they are hungry oO;</p>
<p>When my kids were LITTLE, I would ask them to wait until dinner if they were hungry if dinner was in less than 20 minutes, but it seemed they were always hungry 15 minutes before dinner!!! The smell triggered something in their brains. But I never would have asked them to wait if dinner was going to be more than 1/2 an hour later. Remember, i am talking about when they were in elementary school or younger. If they were starving and couldn’t wait 10 minutes, I would give them the salad, or the veggies, or fruit. </p>
<p>I jsut made sure that I had healthy snacks around, so if they had an apple before dinner, and they didn’t want their carrots, who cared. But this was when they were LITTLE.</p>
<p>DH here was being a controller. Waiting two hours is absurd. I</p>
<p>Son is not respectful but husband is unreasonable.</p>
<p>I have 2 teens athletes and they eat a lot. I allow my kids to eat as much as they want as long as they still eat dinner. 9:00 pm is just too late for dinner for anyone. Go hungry too long and son may end up with other medical problems.</p>
<p>I agree with all the others that DH was out of line, but Courer and SuNa, that there could also be some other underlying issues that we are not privvy to. Is this reaction the norm for your husband or could there be something else that contributed to this behavior (a bad day at work so DH comes home and has to prove that he does have the authorative power and what he says goes)?</p>
<p>Wow, your family must be really strict, in ours i just whine for food when i’m hungry lol Food is a must and no one takes offense on how much and when you eat. You would think in this day and age, people would be arguing about more important/devastating issues, but i guess not lol. Yea, your DH needs to apologize and realize when to pick his battles.</p>
<p>We eat late at home (8 p.m.) and later on vacation, but denying a hungry child nourishment is a bit, uh, controlling. I’ll leave it at that.</p>