<p>I’m just wondering if my story is a hook.</p>
<p>I went to a really gettho school in New Mexico after moving from California. I spent a year in a boarding school in India, where many students were expected to go to IIT. I then came back to the states and homeschooled myself while doing competitive figure skating. When I was 13 I took a test called the CPE and enrolled in classes at the local comm. college, after working on my basics I began working on my two year degree. I am in my 2nd year and once I complete it, I will be about 16 1/2 years old and will get my GED. Do you think this is a hook?</p>
<p>I am also a minority, first generaton american and first person to go to college on my moms side. I come from a low income family as well $40,000<</p>
<p>It’s wonderful and all but you need the scores to back it up. Reading it makes me nervous about how qualified you are. You better have through-the-roof scores to account for rushing through academics for athletics.</p>
<p>i.e.</p>
<p>-using the slang, “gettho” especially spelled wrong is, erm, not very attractive.
-write out the abbreviations–IIT and CPE.
-it should be $40,000> with the inequality sign the other way.</p>
<p>Those things could be typos, I guess, and I’m assuming this isn’t a final draft.</p>
<p>Then again, if you’re using the story as an explanation for lower test scores/school scores, etc. I suppose it works.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’m not planning on using my story as the only hook. I’m studying for the SAT’s and SAT II’s right now. Those were typo’s, thats not the way I’m going to write in my essays, it was just a quick summary, but thank you for the correction. I was wondering about the < >. As for my GPA, it’s on the low side 3.5, but I spoke to one of the admissions officers at Harvard and he said I should be fine.</p>