<p>I would be careful on the Facebook thing. I had an account for his Soph year, and had him as a friend, but early this summer, he defriended me, blocked me so that I could no longer even bring up his name in a search. I was really hurt, because I thought I had not made a pest of myself, and e-mailed him why? He responded , “Because it is time”.</p>
<p>^And by next year, he will have cleaned up his facebook for the benefit of potential employers / grad programs, so he won’t mind if you have access. This is a phase. I’m surprised you made it this far without getting blocked, but you should be back in soon enough.</p>
<p>We hear from D (senior) all the time. S has been a “man of few words” for the last several years, so when we dropped him off last week, I simply told him I needed to hear his voice at least once/week. The consequences for that not happening will be me showing up at his dorm room door. We’re close enough to his school for me to actually do that, and S knows me well enough to know I would. Yesterday was the 1 week mark, and he called last night.</p>
<p>Yes, Facebook is tricky. When I signed up, I told my daughter I would not attempt to friend her. I think kids need their privacy. We’re not their friends, after all, we’re their parents.</p>
<p>I dunno about daughters. I have them and one went off to school 600 miles away and never called. We very rarely heard from her and finally I told her I would like to call her once a week. She told me if I called between 10 am and noon on Saturday’s she would talk to me. LOL. It’s become a little family inside joke now.</p>
<p>One of mine, when going through a very difficult time quit calling. I hated intruding and calling just to see if she was okay so I just would send her text messages that she could answer and we wouldn’t have to get into a conversation.</p>
<p>As far as facebook, there is nothing quite like the buzz of 4 siblings on facebook. I joined and my kids all finally friended me, though that is not why I joined. The worst thing is if you have a kid who puts every anguish up on their status. Or posts a cryptic status. I have learned to ignore it all!</p>
<p>I found that Instant messaging worked the best for communicating with my S. It can range from just a brief exchange with a tidbit of news to an hour and a half conversation on courses for next term. It is strictly up to him. I tried e-mail for a while his freshman year, but he said he doesn’t read it, it is just for dinosaurs like me. I still will use it to attach something he needs to deal with because I am still not comfortable using IM for attachments, but I use IM or text to tell him to check his e-mails.</p>
<p>a few years ago, S#1 flew by himself to west coast college. His parting words were, “I don’t want to go to college.” H dropped him off at the airport curb. S didn’t have a cell phone, but he had a phone card and was supposed to call us when he got there. He never called. I started to worry a bit. I tried to email, but he didn’t write back. After a few days I started to imagine things like: What if he just walked away from the (home) airport? What if he’d been murdered in a bathroom at LAX and his body had been dumped somewhere? What if he just went to the beach instead of to college? I finally called the school and asked if my son had ever arrived there. Oh yes, he’d checked in. Whew. (He was busy, didn’t think of calling, computer was off, didn’t get the email… .)</p>
<p>At one point during fall term of my d’s freshman year I sent her an email with the subject line “Click reply if you’re alive.” Now that the excitement has worn off I hear from her more frequently.</p>
<p>I just started text messaging a few months ago and find it very useful for contacting my freshman son. I’ve only used it a couple times since he’s been gone, but he always responds pretty quickly. I recommend it.</p>
<p>I sent him an e-mail on Sunday night (to the college account that he said he checks a couple times a day for campus news) about some things he wanted us to mail him. I’ve yet to get a response to that, but I figure I’ll hear something when he realizes his clothes haven’t arrived yet!</p>
<p>I agree with the poster who says no news just means “no news.” I wouldn’t assume anything, good or bad.</p>
<p>In my S’s case, no news was good news freshman year. The “call every Sunday” was painful for both of us and lasted 3 weeks. The rest of that year communication was very hit or miss.</p>
<p>Soph year was a slight bit better and he started initiating contact on ocassion. We spoke about a friend of his who had done a gap year after HS and was a college freshman that year. There was a reference to the fact that this guy’s parents were going ballistic over the lack of communication with their son, but the son had been homesick at the beginning and had not liked the communication from home because it made the homesickness worse. Seemed the boy felt it would be easier for him to get over it with less “gee, this is what we are doing ‘back home’” calls. Parents were oblivious to what their demand for communication was doing to their son. </p>
<p>My S is now a junior and the communication is still sporatic. But when we do communicate (usually email) it involves something interesting to both of us.</p>