<p>How important is it to you to be the one who got in? If a school opened its doors and said, “Our admissions process is not a set of hurdles to get over - as long as we know we can serve your needs (you don’t have LD or behavioral issues that we can’t handle), you will be admitted. The challenge is that this is a tough school with high academic standards and expectations that you will be a contributing member of the community. If rejection happens it will be because you don’t live up to these expectations once you are here.” Would you be interested? Or, is it important to you to go through the possible rejection process in order to feel that a school is worthy?</p>
<p>It is somewhat important to me to go through the possible rejection process in order to feel that a school is worthy.</p>
<p>sbergman - My logic as a parent would be a little different.<br>
This statement would concern me:
“If rejection happens it will be because you don’t live up to these expectations once you are here.” </p>
<p>If there were no hurdles to jump over, I would be concerned whether the school was properly vetting the candidates and making sure the motivation was there to attend. For example, does the child really want this or is it all the parents doing? Sometimes having to jump through multiple hurdles will eliminate those not truly motivated. Without that, if the school’s system is to eliminate nonperformers after they’ve enrolled, how great would the turnover be? (we know a certain percentage already wash out regardless due to personal issues, stress, fit, drugs, or whatever) Would I want my child in an environment with a high turnover rate? It doesn’t build a community and is very upsetting and disruptive to see your friends leave school. This would be the concern more than a lack of a rejection process making one feel worthy or special if selected.</p>
<p>I think so. I wouldn’t know, I usually don’t know how I feel about things until they happen, haha, and just being accepted won’t happen!</p>
<p>sbergman - It was like that for most Preppies in the beginning to the mid the 20eth Century I believe.</p>
<p>First, this is a very thoughtful question. Creative1 used the exact word that I was thinking of, “vetting.” As difficult as this vetting process is for young teens and their parents, it gives both parents and students the feeling that they will be with other children of like mind and spirit, but different perspectives. This is the most important reason for our decision to let our children go if they successfully jump all those hurdles. </p>
<p>The admissions policy that you describe doesn’t make me think that a school is not “worthy”, as you say. But I do understand why you would think that attaining the seemingly unattainable would have such appeal to people. I’m sure it does. It is the last thing that our family considers. However…bear the following little story in mind…</p>
<p>I have been a student at two very different schools. The first was a small, selective, liberal arts college. The other was a flagship state university. The teachers and facilities at the large state school were in some cases better than the ones at the small liberal arts college. What made the private LAC such a better experience was the caliber of the students I was around, the conversations in the dining hall, the discussions in history class, the student concerts and events. Admissions at the LAC involved a vetting process, the state university admitted anyone who wanted it and had fulfilled the minimum test scores and GPA. </p>
<p>I think the same thing would worry me about sending my kids to a school with such an open admissions policy. It would be a concern, that’s all. It wouldn’t necessarily stop me from having them apply.</p>
<p>i believe it’s a humbling experience, getting rejected from a place you admire drives you to become even better!</p>
<p>It depends. If I got rejected from a school that was very stat based, “equilibrium” (admissions stay the same, same people in; same people out) then I may feel a little distressed. I guess one can come to the conclusion that the school just did not “fit” me. </p>
<p>If it was at a school like Exeter, “dynamic equilibrium” (same range of people in, varies a lot though) it depends. I would not feel “unworthy” if I got rejected. I would know that there is rhyme and reason as to why they decided not to adopt me but I do not think I would be sad. </p>
<p>In the end I would be sad in the sense that I would have to spend another year in my school (or more… yuck) but I doubt I would be like "Oh s***, Exeter is just too good for me.</p>
<p>Neato that thing about the state university and LAC…</p>
<p>Selective Small + big = Harvard 
Jk </p>
<p>I agree with you on that aspect though.</p>
<p>I’m a bit confused by this thread.</p>
<p>im a bit confused too, but i can tell you that rejection at my most Favorite schools would just kill my poor soul :(</p>
<p>Even if one gets rejected I think it’s a good experience for all of us to brush up on our weak points and ponder on why we weren’t accepted :)</p>
<p>I think this is an interesting question. I’ve often thought of it another way----many parents and students love to “win” at boarding school admissions. It seems like they think of it as a national competition and they get a thrill at being a part of it. I see this a lot. Sometimes I want to ask them, “do you really want to GO to a top tier boarding school or do you just want to get accepted by one?”</p>
<p>They always end up going, but it seems like there is a lot of thrill in the chase!</p>
<p>Ohh… I think I understand the question now, thanks to newyorker.</p>
<p>I would never do that. You have to have the drive and courage to face the fire and enter… Then you need to grow and expand. Being forged by the fires to become something stronger than you ever believed that you could attain beyond normal means. I couldn’t stand the idea of others in the forge being of inadequate ore.</p>
<p>I always assume that I’m equal to everyone I meet, but in that first 30 seconds I’ll make the judgement if I am the diamond in the rough… Or if I’m bringing down the value of the room. </p>
<p>I need to know that the “team”(Class) that I’m entering the flames with will be more than common men. A class cannot be a team of common men, because common men go nowhere. You have to be uncommon to achieve the improbable, and maybe even the impossible. I don’t believe that we were all of equal ability and opportunity… I have always believed that the strong excel and the weak take up space(That is why I’m a Republican). The weak are common, and the strong are uncommon. </p>
<p>I know that might sound harsh… But that is my honest opinion. I can’t stand the idea of the man(or woman) next to me being of insignificance to the community AND the community be a place of growth and worth. Every person needs to pull their weight, and everyone doesn’t have that ability.</p>
<p>Italianboarder - how do you define “weak” and “strong”? If you’re talking purely in terms of test scores, grades, IQ, you’re missing a lot. There are many forms of intelligence.</p>
<p>Well, italianboarder, from your post I can definitely draw that you are such a significant person that every boarding school would DESIRE you! Who are you to judge somebody ‘common’ or ‘insignificant’? If there are so many ‘common’ people then the globe would stop spinning, the economic stop growing, the human-being stop existing? Everybody is special, not in your way but in their own way. It is because of this we have the word ‘diversity’, or else they would not have included it in the English dictionary. Even if that those people were ‘common’, then remember, it would be because of them you were ‘uncommon’, or so many ‘uncommon’ people lived here that there was nobody specifically ‘uncommon’ at all!</p>
<p>italianboarder, I do not mean to offend you or anything - but I have looked at a lot of other posts you made. I do not know if you intentionally posted them or what, but they sounded very arrogant and that made people feel uncomfortable about you. Even on this forum where most of us are prospective bs students you cannot get along with us in such a way, have you questioned how you could possibly survive at an actual boarding school where everybody thinks you are ‘too good to befriend with them’? Well, I am nobody to tell you such things, but I am looking forward to your acceptance to a prestigious bs and let’s see if you can make a second Bill Gates or Barack Obama.</p>
<p>Last word, I am sincerely sorry if I offend you in any cases.</p>
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<p>Rephrase 1: Would you be interested in a school which admits nearly all acceptably behaved applicants without significant LD, but then chooses to expel those who don’t live up to the school’s academic and social standards? </p>
<p>“Admit them all, and let experience sort them out.” No. I think such a setup for high school would be unfair. I’m assuming such an approach would lead to a very high rate of expulsions. I know that my child will make friends with all sorts of children. To place my child in an environment in which numerous peers and friends were being tossed out, because they didn’t live up to the adults’ standards, would be unacceptably stressful. Add to that the fear that you yourself wouldn’t live up to expectations, and I don’t think it would be a healthy place. </p>
<p>Such an approach would also be a disavowal of the responsibility of the admissions office to admit children who have a realistic chance of staying the course. It’s very unfair to admit a child you believe to be unsuited to the school. After two years of effort, and tuition, to kick out a child because they don’t meet your standards, when you knew they wouldn’t be able to meet them from the first, would be vicious. Admitting them to your school may have prevented them from finding a school which would have suited them. Yes, there are probably students whose academic records don’t seem promising, but that’s where judgement comes in. </p>
<p>It would also put all the onus on success or failure at school on the child. I think that having a free hand in expulsions could lead to a great degree of arrogance in the administration and teaching corps. </p>
<p>Rephrase 2: Do you feel that rejecting applicants makes a school worthy?</p>
<p>I’d like to say no. Theoretically, if all of a school’s applicants can meet academic and behavioral expectations, then no, I don’t need a school to reject applicants. However, the real world doesn’t work that way. Parents choose to change schools for many reasons. Sometimes their children have worn out their welcome at their current school. </p>
<p>Caveat Emptor. Acquaintances chose to send their son to a private school. Knowing the child, I took the school off our list of schools to investigate. If they accept that boy, who knows what they will tolerate in the classroom? In the school’s defense, he didn’t stay long. I suspect that his prior school may not have been entirely forthcoming about his issues, as well.</p>
<p>As long as there are therapeutic boarding schools, parents will be wary of a school which rejects very few students.</p>
<p>Rephrase 3: Do you believe, “The lower the acceptance rate, the better the school?”</p>
<p>Only to a certain degree. Some schools go to great lengths to increase the number of applications, so I take the acceptance rates with a grain of salt. A number of schools have very well funded, very well run admissions departments. I assume that “number of applicants” is one of the criteria used to judge the department’s performance. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I do wonder about the methods. Also, it’s not fair to compare the stats of the “meet any need” schools with other schools. A potential “full ride” is worth $40,000, or more. That’s an enormous incentive to apply to a school.</p>
<p>I don’t mean IQ/test scores. I’m trying to say that I feel that a class should be made of strong people. Strong may be defined as motivated? Maybe they are strong in art? I think that the class will become more than a class… Something like a team? If you have alot of strong people that are motivated, I imagine your experience would be alot different than if you had the opposite. Doesn’t your class dictate a good portion of your BS experience? Let’s say you go to school with people of strong moral character and academic rigor… Wouldn’t you slowly gravitate towards that identity? I hope that I will.</p>
<p>You didn’t offend me. I was making a debate, I didn’t mean to put myself in a “weak” or “strong” area. </p>
<p>The best part of declaring who is insignificant and who is significant… Is that no one can, BUT every single year admission’s staff makes the decision of who will get in and who won’t. I think it is really similar…</p>
<p>My view on the matter is that in life, one will always experience failure, but the circumstance of that failure is not by chance, but determined through one’s actions. Thus, if someone fails in their attempt to attend boarding school, that person has no one to blame other than him/herself. Usually, such an experience provokes some kind of introspection, which actually may lead the individual onto a more defined path, with a distinct goal and future benefit/reward, which ultimately benefits the individual more than if they were to (without too much preparation) take a hard/steep path that also has some kind of future benefit/reward.</p>
<p>So either way, the individual who goes through the experience of applying to boarding school will experience some kind of introspection that may change their view on life. In the case of failure, one might begin to excel where one did not before, and challenge oneself to become all one could be. In the case of success, one would be surrounded by people that exemplify dedication and perseverance, which in turn creates an environment in which all individual is pressured to excel and challenge oneself. </p>
<p>And if you think that I am thinking too much/making things too simple/being a ■■■■■, I would like to say that this is my opinion through experiencing self-conflict and redefining of life after having “failed” the first time in this endeavor.</p>