I am now in the first semester of my freshman year and I have never been so lonely, depressed, and hopeless before in my life. Everyone says how great college is and how amazing their experiance is but I feel the complete opposite. I don’t have a lot of friends but I do have a FEW aquaintances that I’ve met but they are nothing compared to my friends from home. I’m always broke and can never eat anything besides the nasty food in the cafe. On my third day of classes, I found out that my girlfriend from home is pregnant with my child. I’ve was first of course devastated but now I am accepting of the fact of being a father. The thought of being away from my girl friend and family especially during this time is KILLING me! To top it all off me and my roommate don’t get along what so ever and it’s pretty hard not explode on him with all the stress I’m going through. My home is really far from my university so my parents cannot afford to come get me regularly. I partied my Whole way through high school so “college life” and parties are not important to me at all. I just want to go home!
That’s if you believe social media. If you believe CollegeConfidential, then everyone hates college and has trouble making friends. In reality there are some people in both camps.
Keep putting yourself out there – clubs, study groups, volunteering – and go check out your school’s counseling services if you start to feel really down. (Especially regarding the girlfriend thing… That’s a tough thing to experience as a new freshman.)
There is always hope and ways to make things better. Sounds like you have a lot of stress both at school and home. For now, do the very best you can academically. Don’t squander the academic aspect of what you are trying to deal with right now. The quality of your transcript keeps options open for you. Do consider counseling to help you figure out what you should do next. Talk to your parents about their recommendations. Look into school options closer to home in the event that a move to be closer to your future child becomes a priority.
With a baby on the way, that is another huge reason to stay in school and complete your education because your total earning potential through the course of your adult life will be much higher WITH a BA/BS than without one…thus making it a LOT easier to provide for a family. It will be a tough road at first, but the hard work is worth it.
Are your parents aware of the situation with your girlfriend?
It’s a lot for an 18 year old to have to handle on his own. And sometimes in situations such as this, getting a 3rd party’s perspective on your stress & your options might be worth considering. Maybe you might want to consider speaking with a counselor at your school?
Work and school are not mutually exclusive. It may take longer to get your degree if you work while doing so, but 4 years of no income with a child on the way is extraordinarily selfish of you. Best plan, IMHO, is to tough it out through this year and plan on getting a job to support your child while you go to school part-time. Many employers will subsidize your education, so you can finish with less debt AND you will have actual work experience to help out.
If you were my son I would advise you to figure out a plan with the girlfriend, if she intends to keep the baby, then I would suggest you make plans immediately to transfer to a school close to home where you have a support system. I would stick it out this year in school for sure, and plan to transfer elsewhere for next fall so that you could potentially live at home rent free, get a job, and be in college while supporting your child. You’re in a very tough situation, but you have to look at the big picture here.
Definitely try to find a way to stay in school…your earnings over your life time are much better with a college degree.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/moneybox/2014/09/08/college_graduate_vs_high_school_graduate_salaries.html
Ditto socalmom007. Pregnant girlfriend is a game-changer.
I also agree with socalmom007. I’d consider going home (transferring) after this semester is done, though. When is the baby due?