<p>So, 2014 is ending soon. It started on a high note. I got accepted to Penn State, even though it was the Altoona campus. I was ecstatic. Then, my parents inform me that I cannot go to USA (I live in Dubai) while being ambiguous about the reasons. I am forced to enroll in a mediocre college and choose a major I don’t like because of lack of options. I get depressed. The college remains mediocre. I perform terribly in academics. I constantly consider transfer, but realize that my poor high school grades restrict me from successfully transferring (I have a knack for taking subjects I don’t like and failing but hey… that’s Indian schools for you). In the end, I see no solution except to spend three more years in a college I despise. I’m too rational to suicide, too inexperienced to run away.
Can you people see a solution?</p>
<p>There is always a point in trying. Maybe talk to your parents again about transferring and do your best to get your grades up to where you could transfer. But don’t ever give up! College is a short part of your life and then you can do what you want to do. </p>
<p>You need to talk to someone. It worries me that you have actually thought about harming yourself and haven’t because you are too rational or have thought about running away. I know you are feeling trapped but surely there is someone you can talk with to try and sort out your feelings. The above poster is correct-college is but a short part of your life. Also, it sounds like your folks have chosen to be ambiguous for a reason; one that you may never fully understand. I’m sorry you are in such pain. Please find someone.</p>
I have no one to talk to, to be honest. My father trivializes my problems and brings up his own college experiences as if they’re supposed to appease me. He doesn’t understand how significant my predicament is and if I try to push my perspective, he gets irritated. He didn’t even bother to inform me that I couldn’t attend Penn State until like one week before the end of the senior year.
I have a good friend who’s actually attending Penn State right now. Unfortunately, he can only offer vague words of optimism. It’s easy to think everything’s gonna be alright when you’re in his position.
I feel dead most of the time. But I’m digressing, this is not a counselling forum. But then again, I’m so helpless I have nothing else to talk about.
But your predicament isn’t uncommon. Hundreds and thousands of students don’t get to go to their first choice, everywhere. If anything, you have a very common (and disappointing) problem – you are someplace you’d rather not be. You can be grateful you don’t have a debilitating or fatal disease, abusive parents, a dangerous drug habit, an untreated mental illness. You can be grateful you live in a prosperous, beautiful country where your personal safety is not inordinately threatened daily. You can be glad for a home, food, clean water, and the chance to further yourself with a college education. Be grateful for all those things.
It’s perfectly normal to be disappointed and even temporarily derailed when you suffer such a shocker (I agree that if you were never coming to the States for college, that should have been made clear). Try to not compound the problem by fixating on what you don’t have. You know what? Lots of people drop out of Penn State, or transfer, because they hate it here and feel like it’s mediocre or not what they want. It’s not a perfect school. Don’t imagine it is, and get stuck on that. Fix what you can – choose to improve your grades, improve your study habits, and take those new skills and accomplishments with you wherever you go in life.
Did your father ever explain why he didn’t want you to attend Penn State?
It’s no wonder that you’re doing poorly if you’re in a major you didn’t choose. At the minimum, take classes you like.
I assume your father made you choose a “more practical” major - but a 2.0 in a more practical major leads nowhere, whereas a 3.7 in a “non pratical major” leads to internships, which lead to other schools.
Not really. He cited financial problems but he later unintentionally repudiated it by saying that had I performed better in high school, he would have been more enthusiastic about paying for college. We couldn’t apply for financial aid since his salary was just above the maximum, or so he said. When I was having my final exams, what essentially motivated me was the prospect of studying in Penn State. My father knew I wasn’t going to go there but he didn’t choose to say anything. It was only after my exams that he said the bad news. That was simply devastating. It genuinely broke my spirit and was the impetus for my depression, which has been going on for almost a year now. I don’t want to turn this discussion philosophical but the whole situation made me question the point of existence. Everything’s going to fall apart in the end anyway. What good is hope for? How does optimism help you? It doesn’t. Life is inherently against you.
I’m trying to settle in my current college but I just can’t. It’s absolutely horrible. Here, they even still send your grades to your parents, as if not acknowledging that we’re adults now. Even worse? We don’t receive the grades first. Our parents do. But that’s an insignificant complaint when the bigger picture is considered.