The intention of this post is not to garner Yale hate, nor Harvard preference if you dare look at my posting history.
But I was wondering is there anybody who didn’t really click with Yale? I went there hoping to be wowed seeing that most people resolved it to be better than Harvard. In fact, I was hoping I would enjoy it more so I could dissuade myself from choosing a school based on name.
But upon arriving there I couldn’t shake a huge pit of disappointment that opened within me. I thought that Yale was supposed to be a school for everybody, and that the community would be incredible.
However, it felt kind of isolated to me, and while the students were so so extremely nice and open, I couldn’t place my detachment from them–they seemed to lack general passion. While they were happy with classes and ECs, they didn’t seem upbeat, just kind of “there.”
Faculty was also pleasant for me. But I really did not like the campus layout. I’ll admit that I didn’t spend much time in the res colleges, but seeing that freshman don’t really live there (excepting those two colleges), I guess that should be expected.
I just have a feeling that I “missed” something, but in reality I don’t know what went wrong. My spirit did not accept the school–what is the “Cult of Yale.”
Maybe your desire for the other school was too strong and affected your perceptions. It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll have a great 4 years at the other school.
Everything is relative. Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable at Visitas, or maybe you will also be left feeling as though you have “missed” something. I posted the below on another site and feel it’s appropriate to repeat
@Dancelance, I am sorry that we did not meet at Bulldog Days (or at least I presume we did not meet because I am nothing like the people you described), and your experiences could not have been different from mine! Truthfully it does sound like you would be happier elsewhere.
@dancelance It could have been just chance—the people you happened to see and interact with during this visit simply may not have been your cup of tea. Or your feelings could be revealing a real preference for something different than what Yale offers. I do tend to agree with @gibby about the spectacle aspect of these admitted students events—that’s why I had my son rank his choices before attending them. (He ultimately made his decision without visiting the schools again, but he’d already visited all of them, three extensively, and had a huge amount of information from many different sources on which to base his decision.) I think it’s important to keep in mind what the schools are really doing at these events: Yes, they’re welcoming the admitted students (and parents), but more important, they’re marketing to them. At the moment, we’re attending the admitted students weekend of the school my son chose. We’re enjoying it—especially him, since he’s excited about attending—but as a parent, I’m a bit worn out by all of this and feeling acutely aware of the sell job, even though it’s entertaining, interesting, and even helpful at times. So maybe you experienced some of that during Bulldog Days. I don’t think there’s any real difference between the students who are accepted to the top schools—when we went to local admitted students receptions for Yale, Harvard, and Stanford, all the students and alumni we spoke with were interesting, and a surprising number of the students were actually the same (having been admitted to two or all three schools)! I’d encourage you to focus less on your impressions of the students and faculty you happened to see during Bulldog Days and more on the specific things each school you’re considering offers—things like courses in potential majors you’re contemplating, degree of focus on undergraduate education, research/internship/job possibilities, geographical location (in terms of potential jobs and also in and of itself—do you like it?), etc. Look closely at the catalogs, course offerings, and requirements, and see how your four years might play out given different scenarios. I’m not saying that gut reactions aren’t important—I think they are; I’m just saying that in certain circumstances, taking them with a grain of salt is a good idea. See if you feel differently at one of the other schools you’re considering—and, if so, see if that difference is based on more than the small sample of people you happened to see while you were there (and the admitted students program the school happened to put on).
I say go with your gut all else being equal. I know many happy students at other schools and I will be the first to say that Yale is not for everyone.
However, I must note the timing of Bull Dog days. This is the last week of classes. My D, who is usually very accommodating to visiting students was stressed about a paper she had due during the same time. Even though her visiting student was her friend from her high school, she admitted she had little interaction with them. Even having to perform for the students with her step team was stressful cause it cut into study time. I just think the students were preoccupied with being done and going home for the summer. I’m sorry they seemed do distant. You’d see a totally different picture move in day in August. Look on YouTube and you’ll get a better sense.
@dancelance It could also be that the feelings of the “Cult of Yale,” at least for some people, take time to develop. We were very taken by the strength of the feelings the alumni expressed for Yale, and it really does seem like many people end up loving it there. But I’m guessing those feelings don’t always develop overnight. It takes time to build close friendships and the bonds that come from a shared experience, so for prospective students to expect to feel those same emotions after having attended Bulldog Days seems unrealistic. But as several people (including me) have said, your gut could indeed be telling you something. Maybe you really would be happier at Harvard or elsewhere. Harvard and Yale seem like two very different schools to me, especially at the undergraduate level, but it’s certainly possible to be happy at either of them. Look closely at what you want out of your undergraduate education, and then look closely at the kind of person you are and decide which school will be the best place for you—not which school had the best admitted students event or seemed to have the most passionate, interesting students on the days you happened to visit.
Actually, I think there are more similarities between HY than there are differences.
For my kids, the difference came down to “social tone.” The social tone of a college, in part, results from decisions, large and small, made by the administration on issues such as physical space and its use, housing, how freshman are welcomed and integrated into campus life, what role upperclass students play as advisors and mentors, what role graduate students play, how readily faculty members volunteer to host events or trips, etc.
IMHO, Yale’s four-year residential college system fosters a “big-sib, little-sib” feeling to the campus that is missing from Harvard. Every freshman at Yale is welcomed into a residential college, with it’s master and dean, and is allowed to participate in house events. That’s not true at Harvard because it has a three-year residential college system which doesn’t include freshman, who are housed and fed separately in Harvard Yard. As a result, there is somewhat of a disconnect between the experiences of the Harvard freshman class and the experiences of the rest of the student body. It’s almost as if there are two separate student bodies at the school.
But yes, I agree, that a student can be happy at either school!
Consider this. BDD happens during the last week of regular classes. Most students are focused on their last requirements of their current obligations, Spring Fling, and end-of-term.
If you visit during move-in week, I expect that everyone’s perspective will be fresh and new.
I had the chance to visit my son twice in the last four weeks, and I could sense that he was exhausted.
Happy, proud, productive, amazing, but exhausted.
ivy schools can only help you get a job… its veryvery difficult to make friends for your life there… everyone is super competitive and they want you to do good but never better than them… very competitive about everything, anxious about keeping their scholarships… its just funny
@chalkj: which Ivy league school did you attend? You speak quite authoritatively. You seem to have had a bad experience during your college years. Sorry to hear that.
Your view veers dramatically from my own experience and many others I know who attended other schools in that sports conference. Veers to a degree that what you’re describing seems completely fanciful.
I was at Bulldog Days earlier this week as a “prefrosh” admitted student to the Class of 2019. It really did not matter that it was near the end of the semester, my host was friendly (and yes had a full plate with exams and papers), but it was the 1000 or so other prefrosh who mattered most – everyone I encountered was so very open to friendships and sharing, and I’m not even an extraverted person! I do think that you bring yourself wherever you go, and I am sorry for any prefrosh who did not have the same warm and welcoming experience that I had, because it cemented my decision to accept Yale and turn down several other wonderful universities.
@chalkj, I’m not sure where you’re getting this idea. I may be wrong, but looking at your picture you seem to be a very young person, again this could be a decoy:) I can only tell you about my son’s experience so far at Yale as a freshman. He was placed in a suite of 8 boys where one quit school cause he was not “feeling it” and another moved to a different room outside their suite for personal reasons. Yet the other 6 stayed together and will room as sophomores next year. He’s being challenged academically (it’s Yale) but has not changed his attitude towards the school. I can tell you by looking from the outside he’s making friends for a lifetime and having fun.
@dancelance, I agree with the other posters, you have to go with your gut. ^^^^^^^^ My eldest visited Yale and knew there was something that just didn’t fit. She also did not like the layout of the school. We tried to get a map to tour on our own because we got there late for tours and the young man at the door couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
We also had a very telling experience at a local sandwich shop, whereby the people, serving at the shop, appeared to be new. They were a little slow and disparaged by students who wanted to order their meals. My dd said, “If they are students at Yale, and they’re treating strangers with such disrespect, why would I ever want to go here?” Not saying this was a common occurrence, and I in no means want to generalize about all of the students at Yale, but it really impacted all of us.
I am so very proud and happy to be a part of the Yale Class of 2019, and throughout every encounter with Yale – from the admissions person who wrote a personal letter mentioning how he liked my essays, to the faculty and other Yale admitted students I met at Bulldog Days, as well as the Yale security guards whom I asked for directions, heck even local sandwich shops (completely had a different impression than ^ ) and the bookstore – everyone has been fantastically friendly, helpful, and inclusive. Old Campus is absolutely gorgeous!! It is most certainly the right place for me, I guess I am now a part of that cult-loving Yale community I’d read so many posts about, and I can’t wait to spend my four years at Yale! I certainly get that one can feel that a university does not fit them, to each his/her own indeed.
@aunt bea - I apologize for any bad experience you had at Yale, with 5,000 students and the whole city of New Haven around, there are bound to be some hiccups. I am sure there are surly students and store owners in almost any college and college town in America. Don’t know how often a Yale student would actually go to a sandwich shop anyway. The dining hall system is great and my D rarely ate off campus.
Thank you very much, @Tperry1982! It is such an honor to be a member of the Yale Class of 2019 and perhaps I’ll run into your daughter (and maybe we have already met under our real names )
I certainly get that one can feel that a university does not fit them, to each his/her own indeed.