<p>I’ve been reading the wedding thread and doing a lot of thinking about old times in my family. Suddenly, it occurred to me how often I was thinking of a particular aunt of mine. She is the one who made sure I had the exact music I wanted at my wedding, and she went to a lot of trouble to get it done. I realized there were dozens of examples during my youth when she went way out of her way to make things special for me. She and my mom were close, so there was no competition there; my aunt just loved me and wanted me to be happy.</p>
<p>Now she’s getting older. I’m going to call her and thank her for all that music she recorded onto a reel-to-reel tape for my wedding. And for everything else.</p>
<p>Skyhook, that is a great idea to thank her now. Unfortunately, too often, we remember the good things that someone does when it is too late to do anything about it.</p>
<p>It is wonderful to thank those who have had an important part of our life. I thank my dad for allowing me to grow up with confidence… that I could handle most anything that was within my power. The great part is that he taught me that there are things that are not in our power…that trait has served me well over the years.</p>
<p>In a strange sort of way I wish I could thank my guidance councelor in highschool for telling me not to bother with college. That woman made me more determined than ever just by her stupid comment. Some people should never be educators.</p>
<p>Yes, there are those I should thank because they forced me to do things because they insisted it couldn’t be done and I was determined to prove them wrong. In a way, that’s why I have my non-profit. Funny. I do try to thank those who have helped me in my life, in the various ways they have over the years. It is quite a community and growing! :)</p>
<p>Momma-three: our fathers offered us the same gifts. Sadly, mine is gone, but I’m thankful every day that I was able to let him know how much he was loved before he passed.</p>
<p>My son’s preschool teacher called yesterday. She wanted his address at college to mail him a letter. He was two when he was in her class but he was memorable. They had run into one another this summer so she knew he was heading off for his freshman year and she just wanted to send an encouraging note. It was so great to be able to thank her for what she did all those years ago that was a part of making him into who he is now.</p>
<p>I’ve made a list of other people I am going to contact. I don’t expect them to write to him but I want to thank them for what they’ve done.</p>
<p>I could never thank all my female friends enough for being there for me and providing a gazillion laughs. Family is so very important, but chosen, non-biological family can also make a world of difference in our lives. They’ve helped me to make it through school, heartbreaks, illness, parenting, everything. People talk about how awful women can be towards one another, but more often than not we are helping each other carry our loads. Life has been immeasurably easier and better because of my friends.</p>
<p>I was watching Oprah Winfrey one day and she did a special about unforgettable teachers who go the extra mile. It got me thinking about a teacher I had in High School who helped me immensely. I wrote her a long letter thanking her for the impact on my life, and she wrote back saying how touched she was. It was kind of crazy after 20 years but I am glad I did it. It always saddens me how people go through life not thanking people or showing appreciation–they save it for the eulogy! Thank people now while you can–life is too short!</p>
<p>I wish I could say thank you to one person. When I was in 7th grade, my dad was in a terrible car accident and his best friend basically took over the role of father in my life throughout high school. He died of a brain aneurysm a week into my freshmen year of college- I was devastated, and still am since it was so sudden. That was over 2 years ago and I still shed tears for never being able to say thank you for getting me through my dad’s accident and the subsequent years of not really having a father. </p>
<p>I still keep in touch with a few select teachers from elementary and high school to let them know how much they’ve helped me. I also thank my parents all the time for everything they’ve done for me. I never want to have to shed tears again because I didn’t get to tell someone how much they did for me until it was too late.</p>
<p>What a beautiful idea for a thread! I have sooo many people I am thankful for, but a few that pop into my head:</p>
<p>My dad, who has been gone a long time now. Unconditionally loved me, made me feel like I could do anything, and optimistically supported every decision I ever made. </p>
<p>Ms. Cozzer, my highschool teacher that was so good, she made me feel ‘brilliant’ with math, and who let me believe I could be anything I wanted to be. Years ago I found her to thank her, and tell her what a valuable foundation she created for me, and what I was able to build upon it. </p>
<p>Professors that made it possible for me to follow in their footsteps: Dr. Bresner, who let little me work in his lab as an undergrad and even gave me my own office as a senior! Dr. Thomson who encouraged me to get a PhD and guided me to the right path and school, and still to this day says he is so proud of me. </p>
<p>My closest friends who have been there for me in the darkest days of my life. The kind of friends you could call long distance and wake at 3am because you are crying so hard and just need someone to be there for you.</p>
<p>Fifteen years ago, my pastor asked me to give my testimony during worship service – make a speech in front of 200 people. Terrifying!! I tried to beg off, but he really really wanted me to do it, so I reluctantly agreed. He read multiple drafts of the speech, with lots of good suggestions. Then one morning, we went into the sanctuary and practiced… and practiced. He coached me until it was smooth, and I felt like I could face the ordeal. While I was speaking, he was seated behind me and I felt his encouragement and strength (he told me later that he was praying for me the whole time), and it went really well. I thanked him sincerely for that help.</p>
<p>Looking back, though, that was a turning point for me in many ways. I found my voice, more than literally. It was a milestone in developing my confidence. It opened up all kinds of doors for me, at church, at work, with family and friends. I could suddenly communicate. I didn’t realize that until much later. This wonderful, beautiful man has since passed away and I didn’t get the chance to say: </p>
<p>Pastor Bob, thank you for believing in me more than I believed in myself.</p>
<p>I was recently remembering a HS classmate named Teri. I was in the girls room in HS chatting with a few friends one day and passed along something that I had heard about Teri (not something terrible, but not nice either). A stall door opened and out walked one of Teri’s best friends. Oops. I knew I was in trouble.</p>
<p>Sure enough, later that day Teri approached me in the hallway and told me that she wanted to talk. She very calmly stated that she had heard about what I said and that it wasn’t true. I apologized and she accepted. That was it. She never held it against me.</p>
<p>What I learned from a fellow 15 year old: 1. Don’t gossip. 2. If you are upset with someone, you can be gracious and allow that person to save face. Thanks, Teri for your lesson on being classy.</p>
<p>Mama-three: I too, had a horrible High School guidance counselor back in the 70’s. She discouraged me from pursuing the career I wanted because she said it was too competitive and I hadn’t taken the right courses. At 17, she was telling me it was too late! She also told me not to bother getting the Regents diploma because it really didn’t matter and “was just something you pull out of a chest one day to impress your grandchildren”. I have always felt very strongly about following your dreams and have taught my daughter to reach for the stars. I don’t want her to think “What If?” which is what happened to me. I did get the Regents diploma but didn’t go to college. My parents didn’t encourage me either. They couldn’t afford it and were afraid I wouldn’t find a job when I came out. Thank God it isn’t the 70’s anymore, and I commend you Mama-three for dismissing what she said!</p>
<p>Some of the teachers that my kids had in elementary school were truly wonderful. At the end of the year, I always wrote them a thank you letter and included some of the ways they had made a difference in my child’s life. </p>
<p>I sent a copy to the principal of the school, assuming that it would go into their personal file, and might help them with job opportunities in the future.</p>
<p>I also used to send thank you notes to groups of kids who had done something that my family enjoyed: the grade 5 students who planned a fund raiser that was a great outing for the little ones; a note to the middle school theater group after a very special production, etc. </p>
<p>I need to get back into the thank you mode, thanks for the reminder.</p>
Funny. I do try to thank those who have helped me in my life, in the various ways they have over the years. It is quite a community and growing! :)</p>