Is this a good topic?

<p>OK so i wanted my esay to be unique and fun, but instead i came up with this (intro):</p>

<pre><code>As time passes and we gain new technology day by day, our society, culture, and traditions change. The values our society had 200, 100, or even 50 years ago are completely different from the values we have today. Most people change with time, “go with the flow”, and conform to society, but personally, I am not like that. I have a set of beliefs and no matter what society thinks of them, those beliefs are what make up me and I cannot, and will not, change for society. I firmly believe that my political, social, and cultural viewpoints contrast the current American society in every aspect, yet I am willing to stick to them.
</code></pre>

<p>how is it? seriously, nothing interesting has ever happened to me! i dont know what to write that will make my essay stand out! help!</p>

<p>Essays</a>, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.</p>

<p>"As time passes we gain new technology, and day by day our society advances, our traditions expand, and our culture progresses. The values of our society adjust, our destination is fixed, and it has been set, but I do not accept these ideals. I believe in traditional values, self identity, and determination." </p>

<p>I believe this sounds better, but my subject-verb agreement is horrid, and some of sentences I provided do not do not fully express complete thoughts.</p>

<p>i want to use this now:</p>

<p>It is a hot summer day. The sound of the fan and AC is buzzing in my head and the smell of freshly baked bread is spreading everywhere. I am in my house with my family, sitting casually. The television is on and a newscaster is mumbling in Urdu, talking about the deteriorating condition of Pakistan. My siblings and I are arguing about something, as usual; we never really got along. “Shhh…” says my father. “I am trying to listen to the news!” We stop talking. My father turns the television off. There is a prolonged silence and everything is calm. Suddenly: “BANG!” I hear a sound go off not too far away, breaking the silence. We all hurry to the window, look here and there. “What was that?” says one. “Where did that come from?” says the other. My father tells us all to stay inside while he finds out what is going on. </p>

<p>i want to write that a war suddenly started in my country, and my family and i were split and everything. then after telling that story, i want to say: "and then i woke up." then i want to write a bit about how that changed my attitude towards my family forever.</p>

<p>is that good?</p>

<p>@mrabia786: I'm not the biggest expert on college essays...but please, please do not do the cliched "and then i woke up" thing. Even my high school lit teachers advise STRONGLY against that.</p>

<p>teaberry: really? its cliched? i did not know that! wow...i swear i thought it was an original idea. </p>

<p>but i already wrote the essay...my eng. teacher wants it on Monday. what should i do now?</p>

<p>just write that essay for your english teacher, and then write another one/revise it for college admissions. You have plenty of time until January, when applications to most colleges are due. Think of the essay for English class as a placeholder/very very very rough draft.</p>

<p>No.
10char</p>

<p>nbump bump
no</p>

<p>Ending it with "I woke up" is a slap in the face.</p>

<p>How would you like it if Harry Potter ended like that? Rowling would have had riots on her hands.</p>

<p>@mrabia786:</p>

<p>The essay as part of the college application is definitely one of the hardest aspects of the process, aside from getting great grades! You need to take the point of view of the admissions folks and be able to present yourself that truly represents who you are to them. Whatever you say about "nothing has ever happened to me" is generally untrue. You are you and how to see things from your eyes and your experience is different. From your first post on this thread here, I pictured you to be the NE and a 17 year old girl who is a kinda average looking white kid (cuz I'm white and from the NE). I kept saying, "yawn, yawn, blah-blah-blah!"</p>

<p>Whatever you write: You have to tell me about you, from your eyes. Write about how you feel.
However you write: start off faster. Gotta hook your audience in the beginning. </p>

<p>Getting there: start off with numerous beginnings. Do you like any?
Now write a few middles of other topics. Sometimes the beginnings aren't easy.<br>
Now have a few ways to end an essay. "You woke up" is one way (and totally a cliched and overused ever since the Bob Newhart show's final episode in 1990
[quote]
Later, Newhart and Pleshette reprised their roles from the show for the surreal finale of Newhart in 1990, in which it was revealed that the entire later Newhart series had been just Bob Hartley's dream. Bob and Emily are shown in either their old bedroom from the Chicago apartment, or a similarly decorated bedroom as the couple had moved out of that apartment more than a decade earlier per the Bob Newhart Show finale.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>limabeans: thank you for the useful response. honestly, when i thought of the dream thing i thought that i would be the first to use it. little did i know that it was cliched. i thought the dream idead would take the readers by surprise. </p>

<p>im thinking of just submitting this to my english teacher and see what she has to say. </p>

<p>also, im not ENDING it with "and then i woke up." after waking up, i wrote about how different i became and how my personality changed. </p>

<p>is there any way i can use the dream idea and change it to be less cliched? also, i read somewhere that you can use cliched ideas, as long as they connect to you.</p>

<p>i didnt want to do a sob story and try to get their sympathy and i didnt want to talk about how my mom and dad or sister or brother changed my life and blah blah blah. can i just make up something? talk about something interesting that never really happened to me?</p>

<p>


</p>

<p>You can make it clear that you are about to enter, or that you have entered a dream, and it will help in the transition.</p>

<p>How would you like it if I did this.</p>

<p>"I like the way women move; their hips, and their legs, and I love their smell, the scent of their perfume. This moment is perfect, this is what I lived for, any man wants this, but too bad I'm gay." - Code</p>

<p>That's basically what your doing.</p>

<p>If you say something happened to you that didn't really happen, that is lying, and it is unethical.</p>

<p>mixture of ayn rand + zyg bauman?</p>

<p>"If you say something happened to you that didn't really happen, that is lying, and it is unethical."</p>

<p>LOL</p>

<p>What's so funny? I'm not saying that people never do it, I'm simply saying it is unethical to do so.</p>