<p>I was very angry for two years. I didn’t know why, but I was. I was very reserved and couldn’t talk to anyone. I became more overwhelmed with anger and started to cut my wrist last February. I felt relieved, yet regretted that I did this to myself. Nonetheless, this happened very often, and my sister finally caught me and threatened that she would tell my parents if I continued cutting myself. So, I tried to stop, but every two weeks or so, I would hurt myself. In late March, I finally stopped completely. However, since May or little earlier, everytime I get really angry or sad, I would cut myself, not my wrists, but my legs where nobody would see the cutting marks. I still get relief, but always feel guilty the next day. I know cutting is really stupid and dangerous. I want to stop completely, but cutting seems the only way to stop feeling angry or sad. I’m scared of this situation. Am I starting to get addicted to cutting myself? Or is it just in my head? Is it that I have an issue with anger managment?</p>
<p>this is not the sort of situation where advice from anon sources on a message board is adaquate- you need to discuss this with your counselor at school who can point you toward local resources.</p>
<p>resources from the Berkeley parents network
<a href=“http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/cutting.html[/url]”>http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/cutting.html</a></p>
<p>I agree with EK4. </p>
<p>I understand you are probably very scared of going to meet someone face to face to talk about your situation and feelings. Cutting is a very common disorder and just know there are a lot of people out there that have felt the same pain you are feeling right now. There are many support groups out there, talk to someone you trust to brainstorm what your next step. </p>
<p>Here are a website for you to look at to help muster your courage!</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html[/url]”>http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html</a></p>
<p>Don’t worry, it is NOT a mental illness, if you go to someone they should not place you on drugs. Please get help as soon as possible, it is treatable with support. One of my good friends is an ex-cutter and she is doing very well now (getting married in less than 2 weeks).</p>
<p>Cutting is a way to turn emotional pain into physical pain and get a release. It IS addictive. Please see a good therapist and discuss this. It is increasingly common among teens. You can turn this around- with good therapy and possibly an antidepressant.</p>
<p>My D had a classmate who was cutting, she and several friends went to a counselor and “told”- the girl was really angry, but now, after some therapy, talkng, she is doing much better and while she and my D are not great friends, the girl acknowledges that she needed help and thanked my D.</p>
<p>Your mom may already know, and go to her, say you want to talk to someone, or find someone on your own…school is out for you I guess, but look around your city, but, please do talk to your mom, she may be angry but that is usually out of fear for you…you can write her a letter and explain what is going on…</p>
<p>good luck and it will be okay</p>
<p>A bunch of psychologists have theorized that people do in fact get addicted to cutting–largely because they get addicted to the endorphins their bodies release to deal with the pain.</p>
<p>There are lots of great sites online that talk about this issue and may help you understand why you do it. Try googling “self-harm” or “self-injury”–you’ll probably find you can relate to what these sites say very viscerally, and it’s always nice to know that you’re not alone and you’re not making these feelings up. The sites also offer some advice on how to stop. </p>
<p>This is, as you’ve realized, a coping mechanism–and so you can only stop doing it in one of two ways: a) by getting rid of the feelings that overwhelm you and make you do it or b) by replacing it with a safer coping mechanism. In the long run, you want to go for “a,” but “b” is much easier in the short term, so try that first.</p>
<p>There are a number of things out there that you can try to help you get over the urge to cut. There’s the age-old elastic-band technique, where you snap an elastic band against your skin until the urge goes away. Then there’s the red marker approach, where you draw on your skin so it looks like blood (I personally think this one’s hogwash, but some people must find it helpful). There’s the approach where, whenever you feel like doing it, you make yourself wait 5 minutes; then, if you still feel like doing it, you try to wait another five minutes… etc., until hopefully the urge goes away.</p>
<p>You can also find other ways to release emotions. If you have trouble talking–you say you’re reserved, and that’s probably part of the problem, because when you can’t express emotions verbally you tend to find a worse way to do it–try writing. Take a blank piece of paper and write on it whatever pops into your heard, anything that you want, no matter how inane it seems: no one has to read it but you. Or you can draw pictures. Or you can even just scribble on a piece of paper. Or whatever you want. Afterwards, if you want, you can tear the paper up into tiny shreds, which can itself be satisfying.</p>
<p>If you want to get rid of the habit, you can do it, because wanting to stop is more than half the battle. You’ll probably have a couple of lapses, but don’t get discouraged and think, “This is it–I’m right back where I started” and then do it in full swing again. It’s normal if you lapse back into it a few times, so don’t beat yourself up about it or call your attempts a failure and give up trying to stop. Just say to yourself, “Well, I made a mistake this time, but it’s in the past.”</p>
<p>Now, it concerns me greatly that you say you’re cutting your wrist. That’s f***ing dangerous. If you must cut, try cutting where there aren’t veins–for instance, on the top side of your arm rather than the underside. Also, make sure that, if you do do it, you do it only with very clean implements. Infections are really not fun. And most importantly, if you do it too deeply, or if the bleeding won’t stop, or if you worry that one of your cuts is getting infected after all, do seek medical help. It’s embarrassing and frightening to approach a doctor about this, but doing so is better than the consequences.</p>
<p>Also remember this: although you should be open about it to people who may be able to help you, there are also people out there who may react really poorly to it. This can make you upset and trigger you to do it again, and so such people just don’t need to know about it. You shouldn’t have to deal with people looking at your habit with disgust and revulsion: you should therefore be careful to confide only in those people, such as counselors, whom you can trust to react in a helpful way. People you tell should be concerned, supportive, and find help for you, but they shouldn’t get angry at you, give you ultimatums, or tell you that you are a bad person for doing it. So keep your habit away from the eyes of people who might react badly: you don’t owe them any explanations.</p>
<p>Good luck solving this one. It’s a tough nut to crack, but you sound like you can do it.</p>
<p>I had no idea that cutting was this common. Supposedly, 17% of the students at Princeton and Cornell practice this.</p>
<p><a href=“http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13141254/?GT1=8211[/url]”>http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13141254/?GT1=8211</a></p>
<p>I’m not surprised. I would have guessed a higher number.</p>
<p>Of course, people do it in varying degrees. Some people tried it once or twice and made tiny little slices. Others do it every day or cut so deeply that they need serious medical intervention. And everything in between.</p>
<p>wow_98 – Do please get professional help as soon as possible. If you are still in school, your counselor should be able to give you some information about who to turn to in your community. Or, call your local county mental health assoc. There are services available that are free. </p>
<p>I am deeply concerned about the advice kitkattail is giving you about cutting “safely”. While the poster’s advice is well-intentioned, there is <em>no</em> cutting that is safe or appropriate.</p>
<p>Please take this seriously, get help, and get back to us. We do care.</p>
<p>This is true. But there’s cutting that’s safer and cutting that’s less safe. If the OP is going to do it anyway, we might as well minimize harm.</p>
<p>It’s not always a habit people can stop right away. Some people can, and some can’t. Better to acknowledge that fact and provide for it than to refuse to face it and let it cause serious harm. You have to deal with what’s in front of you, right?</p>
<p>I hear your point, kitkattail. Getting through any given day alive is always the goal. Getting help and working through the process is long-term.</p>
<p>I read an article about this years ago but W T F? I was truly in the dark about this one!</p>
<p>Don’t lie to yourself, why are you angry? If you can’t think of why, keeping on thinking nice and hard until you come to a conclusion. Then find a way to stop that anger or fix the problem that is causing the anger without cutting yourself.</p>
<p>I think Kitkattail’s advice on this subject is realistic and helpful. From one of the links posted above, this looks helpful as well: <a href=“http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fself.html[/url]”>http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fself.html</a>
It provides a list of safer activities that might help you avoid harming yourself permanently while you’re in the process of quitting. They’re organized by the type of feeling that usually makes you want to cut–you might find the suggestions from several categories helpful. </p>
<p>I think it’s a good idea to have ideas like these in mind while you’re trying to break the addiction to cutting because they can help you get through your cravings and release the emotions in less harmful ways. However, when you’re feeling angry enough that you feel the need to release it through self-injury, you eventually MUST address the emotions that are causing you to do this to yourself. I really think that outside help is necessary to help you get perpsective on what you’re going through, preferably professional help. </p>
<p>People to talk to (message boards and other interactive resources): <a href=“http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html[/url]”>http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html</a>
If this link doesn’t take you straight there, click ‘interactive resources’ on the sidebar. Be careful about searching for forums and things because you might find them triggering, though. Try to focus on the rehabilitation sites. Know yourself and steer clear of pages you think might do more harm than good. </p>
<p>I would also suggest that you search the above site for therapy options, suggestions, etc. It’s a pretty comprehensive page. Also, keep in mind that if you do not feel that a therapist is helping you, you should definitely switch–fit is key, and sometimes it can hurt more than help if you just don’t like your therapist. They’re people too and you don’t have to like everyone, so find one you can really talk to. </p>
<p>I’m sure that telling people is a big concern for people. I would suggest that you tell your parents, but of course that’s harder than it seems. At the very least, please talk to someone you respect (counselor, parent, older friend, etc), or if you can, sign up for therapy of some kind. You don’t have to tell your parents that you’re cutting yet to get therapy (in case the fact that you would have to tell them is what’s keeping you from going); you can tell them that you want therapy to deal with stress or your anger or something. It should be covered by their medical insurance if they have it. Also, it isn’t the end of the world if they find out…but make sure that you somehow get to talk to someone (preferably outside of your family in case that’s more comfortable) about what’s bothering you. </p>
<p>Just get help, preferably professional. Please do this for yourself. </p>
<p>It’s very brave of you to have posted at all and to have acknowledged that you have a problem. Please take the next step to try to deal with what’s really going on. We’re all here supporting you! Good luck, and don’t worry, you’ll make it through this. </p>
<p>I’m sorry this is so long and rambling. I hope it’s helpful in some way…</p>
<p>Wow, that’s an excellent site. (I feel like I’ve seen it before–the URL looks familiar–but I must not have read it in its entirety, because that particular page looks new.) The advice is very comprehensive and level headed. Good work on finding it!</p>
<p>Cutting is a very high risk behavior. We admit a lot of high schoolers to adolescent psych wards who cut indiscriminately. </p>
<p>Please, please, please talk to any trusted adult and tell him/her about this behavior and action. You really need help IN PERSON, not on the internet, and not from a book. Please do it today.</p>