Is this extra-curricular listing too specific?

Prep School Admissions
1

Here is what I’m listing as part of my “Additional Information” section for the schools. Is it too specific? I have more EC’s listed but I’m trying to be more specific in my additional information section.

Children With Leukemia Project:

We work with a local hospital named New-Sunshine which supports our case of Children with Leukemia, we also have big projects like:
New Roles: Website Designer, Treasurer

  • An Art Gallery of paintings from the Children we have worked with, displayed in several Beijing art galleries while also giving keynote speeches there.
  • Contacted an international health broker about setting up a donor card system for our organization.
  • Organized fundraiser piano concert in March, many prominent non-profits in China will be attending to look at making future partnerships.
  • Raised well over 1000 USD in sales of products we have designed such as phone cases, bags, wallets, etc. Have been the treasurer, working on cash flow. So far, all profits have gone towards our fund for future projects or treatment for the children
  • Accumulated over 20 service hours in volunteering for this project, where I went to the hospital and played with the kids.

Debate:

  • Asian Schools British Parliamentary Debating Championship (Oct 2017) - Sixth place speaker in the U13 age category, top 50 for the Open Age category, 150~ students participating.
  • Been co-coaching our school team as student, teaching debate fundamentals, and research techniques

Student Council:

  • Set up a Japanese food sale to raise money for Kumamoto Earthquake, contacted a local Japanese restaurant to sell food. Made over 500 USD in profit, all donations went towards a non-profit foundation for the earthquake.
  • Organized multiple school dances, acted as a committee leader for 3 years now.
  • Acted as shop vendor, student ambassador, and dance volunteer. Accumulated over 30 service hours in these roles.

Kung Fu:

  • Acted as a teacher assistant for two years, teaching smaller kids fundamental kung fu skills and leading trainings.
2

Unless there is a misplaced modifier somewhere, the first huge red flag that’s raised is how did you accomplish everything you listed in 20 hours?

3

Too much detail. This is a resume. But I think you just want a simple list.

4

I mean I directly volunteered for 20 hours, not worked on all the things above. If I included that it would be over 100 hours.

I had a really simple list for the profile where I missed all these things, and I’m not highlighting a lot of these in my essays. How should I communicate this in a more simple way.

5

Maybe you can use one of your essays to go into more detail about what motivates you to do so much for others (and specifically around Leukemia) how you got others to donate and help, what challenges you faced and what you learned from them?

Or maybe you can ask your parents to focus on that work in their parent statement?

6

My Vice-Principle is the advisor for the group, and she wrote my Counselor/Principle recommendation, so I am certain she highlighted my achievements in it. I’m highlighting this for a few schools, but some don’t provide an opportunity to do so. What should I do if I cannot write an essay then?

Thanks for all your help