@kitty56 sniff sniff you can’t leave us hanging like that. Tell us he ended up with a better opportunity and is doing well and happy as can be. This CC thing is an eye opener I thought after college the rest would be gravy… Geeeesh,
@YaleNHarvardDad – it’s NEVER “gravy”! My mother-in-law says, you stop worrying about your children about the same time you start agonizing about the grandchildren! @-)
YaleNHarvardDad ~ Well, the first job he got was extremely tough for him. It was in Newark which was an hour and a half commute in difficult traffic for little money and poor benefits, but he took it because it was the first offer he had. And it also seemed that the picture of the company painted in the interview was very different from when you became employed by them. He stuck it out for 6 months. But that experience was enough to get him the job he has been employed at for 5 1/2 years now. Excellent salary and benefits. He is in a lower cost of living area and was able to buy a house. His employer even contributed to that! So yes, he is doing well and is happy. But it was a bumpy road at times. Parenting is not for the faint of heart 
Awesome I’m a native of Newark myself , if I had to guess I’d say Prudential. However glad he’s doing well.
I was unable to respond again before now but I do appreciate everyone’s thoughtful replies.
My D brought up stopping at a friend’s house on the way but I think the friend’s house is in a state she’ll pass through but far out of the way. So she is trying to find ways to make it more manageable.
I did some research about the area and I have some reservations about it. It seems like once she gets through the cities, the facility is in the middle of nowhere. There are inexpensive hotels at the interstate exit but not much else…
It is not too overprotective. When I applied for my first teaching job, after I received my Masters degree (so I was even older than your daughter), either my parents or my grandparents drove me to every single interview. That let me save all my mental effort for the interview, not the drive. And many of those interviews were within 20 minutes of my house!
Ask your daughter. Do whatever makes her comfortable.
Is there a reason that you feel uncomfortable telling her you are happy to go with her if she wants??
It does sound like SUCH an American worry. Your daughter has proven she CAN cope alone. If a friend, relative, or even mother wants to help by driving her somewhere and keeping her company in a hotel, that’s a good thing.
If you and your D feel it is better to have a companion for the drive and overnight, I would not hesitate to go. She is independent, you’ve indicated. This does not have to be a “ prove yourself” moment. It wouldn’t seem odd if she had a significant other or good friend that went along for the ride, right? You aren’t necessarily helicoptering in my opinion, just helping out in an uncertain situation.
@oregon101 This happened so fast. D got the call Thursday afternoon and we’ve both been busy since then and all conversations have been in passing. Today we can talk more. We have to because they asked to see her Monday! Such short notice.
I also need to figure out my schedule for Monday. I could get away with cancelling my own stuff but I have a younger D who has something somewhat important.
And I have a service puppy which always makes even little travels complicated.
I have to get all my thoughts organized to know what I can realistically offer.
I might try to reach out to some people who know the area to get some ideas of the best (safest) places to stay on the way.
thanks for the information. I would definitely go and my D would have asked/expected me to say yes/offer.
Neither of us would see this as a necessity but safer and more fun overall. If she had a friend to go with her
then it would be her choice. And if she needed to drive alone she would be fine although I would worry.
8 years ago D was living at home to study for her MCAT and decided she would not survive without a dog.
H and I did not want a dog but do love them so…
D chose a dog that is a difficult 4 hours one way and was determined to go there immediately.
After all the dog had a red hat on in the picture and was sooooo cute and might be gone if she waited.
I flatly put my foot down about the drive. There are rescues all over this city.
D planned to leave in the early a.m. She woke to see a sign on the front door that she was not to leave
without me…yes, an 8 hour drive to get a rescue dog that H and I ended up with for the majority of
her life to-date. In the end D and I had a fun time and some great memories. There was just no way
I could let her make that drive, much along a river, with a young dog in the car.
@oregon101 I’m even more glad for your post. Because of it, made sitting down with D a priority and I found out important information.
- The interview is not this week. It is not in two days! It is next week!!!
- She doesn’t want to establish a pattern of me coming along each time she has to travel for a job interview and she knows she will have more interviews, not because she doesn’t want my company but because she wants to be independent and become comfortable doing it alone. That said, she would really like me to come this time.
Meanwhile, I contacted a friend of a friend who knows the area and said it is known as a high crime area and she would not recommend D staying there. But she did recommend places on route which she would not have any reservations about. I’m glad I checked into it.
Two big problems though…
- D18 has a scholarship exam three hours away the day I would leave with D13 for the interview. Going would be very difficult…
- It looks like my cars transmission bit the dust this afternoon…which I had been kind of expecting, just hoping it wouldn’t be this soon. My reliable car guy says it’s not safe to drive and not worth replacing given the age and mileage…
Lots of complications…
Oh…
First, so glad to be helpful and great that you two talked.
And what a mess! So D18 has an interview. Is the plan that you drive her you drive her?
And D13? Is there an issue there?
Can you rent a car?
I know that I would have been hard pressed in you situation to find friends to help.
Everyone had their own life to deal with and there were no relatives around.
You would be asking them to drive D18? Or help with D13?
Can D18 get a ride with another student taking the exam? Is there an alternative exam date?
Hang in there! and how nice you older D wants your company and that you checked out
the safety issue. I ended up paying for D to stay across from campus when she traveled for an
interview. She has plans to stay across town due to $. It was bitterly cold and I just was not
comfortable. She loved staying there and thinks I worry too much :D. And this was after she
lived in Senegal and taught in the Bronx.
Could your H take D18 to the scholarship interview?
Then maybe you and older D could get a rental car and go to the job interview?
What time is the job interview?
Also do you expect a tax refund, can you file taxes asap?
I’m all for encouraging kids to do everything to find a job, but is this opportunity worth it? They are asking her to show up on her own dime, without much notice, to an interview that is 6 hours away (so 12 hours of travel time), without an offer to pay for the transportation or overnight.
Is this fish worth it?
@mommdc and @oregon101,
Well… this is the whole story, D18 and I were supposed to leave Friday for a formal visit to a college almost 300 miles away. I’m calling it formal because she will be meeting with faculty versus just taking a tour.
We were planning on staying overnight there on Friday and traveling on Saturday to the area where the scholarship exam is on Sunday, possibly making a informal visit to a third college on the way on Saturday.
D13 is the one I’m worried about traveling by herself. She has graduated from college and her interview is a job interview. Today she contacted a favorite mentor from college who now lives at a halfway point between our house and the place where she has the interview. It was an amazing surprise when she found that out. Now she has someone to visit to break up the trip on the way down, someone very special who will be a very positive person for her to be around before the interview. She might drive straight home after the interview or she might decide to visit other friends on the way home.
We contacted the used car dealer we have had great experience with. He has something we might be interested in and he will take two of our cars as trade-ins so it won’t be so bad. I only hope the one with the bad transmission makes it there. I’m fairly certain we will get a reasonably priced, reliable car for D18 and I to travel with this weekend. D13’s car’s bumper will be re-taped and then it should be fine. It was checked out at the dealership very recently and mechanically it’s great.
@twoinanddone H was asking D the exact same question earlier tonight. I think D is worried about finding a job and so wants to try it. Her desire has always been to work with people with neurological disorders and physical and intellectual disabilities and most of her experience has been in that area. This population is different.
Well done!!
I was mixed up as I thought D13 was a 13 year old and D18 an 18 year old and then the interviewing
D. I think your conversation got her to think her plans out and that is also a mature thing .