Just had a family dinner at a brew pub that adds 20% to the bill as a service charge. No tips unless the customer wants to leave anything. No issues with staffing, but it is located in a busy college town so there’s likely a large pool of job applicants as well as customers. Our grandbabies made a mess. I added another 5%. 
The food (and especially drinks) was reasonably priced, and the place was busy on this early Sunday evening. The owner of this place has a couple more restaurants but those are quite upscale and don’t use this model.
The tour company we used USED to “suggest tips.” They changed business model so NO MORE TIPS. Then, on the tour, a bunch of the people on the tour decided to tip anyway, over and above the “included price of tour that was said to include tips.”
I didn’t tip. They said no need, so I took them at their word.
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That is so aggravating and happens all the time - NO TIPS, and then you feel like a bum when others still tip although the price of the tour included tips so you are now tipping twice.
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We need people to be paid fairly for services rendered and stop expecting or praying for “generosity.” It’s so “master-servant.”
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But those in tipped positions choose to work in tipped positions because it gives them the chance to work harder to get paid more money. They do not want a “fair” wage, they want the opportunity to make bank in as few hours as possible. It’s worth the risk of being stiffed.
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I’ve said it before, my best friend’s wife loves to bartend 2 nights a week. She makes about $900 in tips per shift. I have no idea what she declares, but I’m sure it’s the absolute minimum.
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Had a weird situation last night. We had a birthday dinner.
We were given free desert…but when they bill came, it came on a handheld (which I hate) and the detail wasn’t showing. Normally I ask for the detail but I just clicked on 22% (we had a good server).
When she asked if I wanted a printed copy, I said yes - and when she brought it, I noticed the desert was missing. So I walked back inside, waited for her to leave the table she was taking an order from, and offered her $2 and said - I apologize, I under tipped you - I didn’t realize you had comped the desert - but I need to tip on what the bill would have been.
And she said, thank you so much for coming in. I hope you enjoyed it and we see you again. But please put your money back in your pocket - you gave me a great tip and I hope so and so has a happy birthday.
The opposite of out of control - although the machine having four options - 20, 22, 25 and custom - could be considered out of control.
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As much as the tipping culture riles us up, there are many good points above as to in many cases it is an advantage to wait staff to bank on those tips as opposed to a “higher wage” because they often are making more $ through tips than they would even with a boost in wage.
The real problem is two-fold as I see it:
- The expansion of tip screens (as opposed to just a table receipt where you add in the tip you want) and expansion of those tip screens to places beyond a mid-full dining room experience. In other words, being prompted for tips in SO many low service places (for instance Crumble as mentioned above - you’re ordering and paying on a screen and taking 5 steps to pick up your box on the counter)
- Us all pulling our big girl/boy panties up and get over feeling like we’re being pressured to tip more or more often. Decide what you can do and stick with it. Don’t be guilted into or become angry after being prompted for more.
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Yes! As I always remind my kids in all kinds of situations, we can’t control how other people act, but we are in charge of our own reactions.
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I have no idea what my friend’s wife makes hourly, but it would need to be $100 more an hour to approximate what she currently makes.
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I 100% agree with both. I was at a concert earlier this week and ordered a beer. The woman handed me a can. Didn’t pour it, didn’t open it, didn’t offer me a cup. It was $17 (which in my world is crazy expensive) and the default on the tip screen was 22%. Nope. Just nope. Had four steps to get to another option but didn’t feel at all guilty.
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My 23 year old just texted me from our local auto shop, she had 2 taillights replaced and wanted to know if she should tip the mechanic, I replied NO.
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I tip folks who have gone above and beyond in terms of their service. And I tip at all sit down restaurants. And I don’t mind doing so.
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Agree. If we step back a minute, servers/bartenders really are just people who make sales commissions. They make the most when the restaurant is busy, they provide good/great service and they can upsell a drink, an appetizer, dessert, etc… Their interests are generally aligned with the business. The benefit to the business is they reduce labor costs when the restaurant is not busy and therefore can charge lower prices as they have reduced a significant amount of fixed costs. A restaurant is not like a factory or other businesses where production/sales are relatively steady through the day and through the week.
Personally, I have gone back to pre-Covid practices. Tip 18-22% for full service (unless the service was crappy), 10% when they bring the food to you and/or clear the table but you order at the counter, maybe a buck or two if they assemble the food for you like a Chipotle, $0 if they just hand you something already made.
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I was at a baseball game recently spending an obscene amount of money for mediocre food and the guy at the register suggested I tip in cash and not on my card. I had to have him repeat what he said. Once repeated, I proceeded to not tip in cash and not tip on my card. I’ve said this before - I’m done tipping in most scenarios.
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I’m a great tipper, but I have zero guilt about not tipping someone for handing me food.
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Be sure to ask if he is part of a booster club working the concessions. Our high school band group worked our cities national football league concessions for money - we got to keep any tips that were given in cash on our counter…paid for those kids who couldn’t afford band fees and paid for new instruments and travel competition trips. This is the hardest I have ever worked at a 12+ hour day of not just serving, but prepping and cleaning and leaving a spotless concession booth. Booster clubs need that money so all kids can participate in sports/band when they may not have the funding from home.
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My youngest was a part of this for band in hs also. In my experience, they are usually hard working but also friendly and having fun. This was a group of extremely sullen young adults doing the bare minimum. Like the customers were. Keeping them from their personal conversations.
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13+ states no longer have a lower “tipping” wage and they mostly are states like the whole west coast where the minimum wage is twice the federal minimum wage. I do not feel obligated to then tip 20% on meals that have risen 30-50% in the past 5 years. If I know you are making $20/hr to hand me food I think that’s enough. I worked in child care between college and grad school and no one ever tipped me for changing their kids poopy diaper.
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Obviously some people make loads of money from tips but there are plenty of long term servers in small towns/rural areas etc who don’t. It can be a very hard job and the tips that come in don’t always push income up even to minimum wage. I’m strongly in favor of restaurant workers earning at least minimum wage and getting basic benefits like health insurance. This also means they don’t have to put up with dreadful customer behavior because they need the tip.
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