Is tipping for everything out of control?

Some of tipping habits may also be related to frequency. I can go a few weeks before o get food take out, eat out or get a coffee. Going through a drive through is not a regular occasion for me. If I was a more frequent food buyer maybe I’d be more even more before bothered

We have a local place we have been frequenting for over 20 years. You go up and order but they bring you your food on real plates. When they switched to an iPad like register they now have a tip option, 10,15, 20,and other. The staff has been trained to say the tip is optional. They do a big takeout business but it’s the same registers.
We had ice cream this weekend and they had two tip jars labeled locals and tourists. I’m not sure what the point of that was. I paid cash so not sure what the credit card option would have been.

I’ve heard that very little money actually goes to the charity in question. It’s better to donate directly to the charity.


You’re saying what I’ve been thinking for ages!


I’d need to see some proof of that to believe it. If Costco says they are fundraising for Childrens Miracle Network I believe it.

Also I’m not going to send anyone .69 for a donation but I can easily do that at the grocery store by rounding up

I tip at the kennel. The dogs get great care and love everyone there. If I ask if they want to go see “M and D” they about knock me down to get to the car. I tip the gentleman who mows for us - I give him $100 at the beginning of the season and again at the end. He is an employee of the business, not an owner. I tip my hairdresser. I tip at the kebab place and Thai place we get carry out from (local family businesses) but no, I don’t tip at the touch screen places. Obviously at restaurants and housekeeping in hotels. In high school (back in the dark ages) I worked at a KFC. We had a lot of regular customers and several of them were older with limited mobility. We’d help them with drink refills, taking their trays to their table, etc. - no expectation of tips. Before I headed off to college, after helping these ladies out for several years, this group gave me an envelope filled with cash - I think it was around $500 which bought my books for the semester.
I think they were part of a bible study group. My boss gave me a “bonus” of $1000 so I had my financial cushion for the year. I never expected anything, but I was so grateful. In a perfect world, all tipped employees would make a living wage and have benefits - but we’d all have to pay more to make that possible.


I’ve had an awesome personal trainer for 10 months but he just gave his notice at the gym. He got me through some tough times when I felt like giving up. I’m planning on giving him a $100 gift card as a thank you. I gave him a gift card for Christmas, too.


Wow, I’ve learned a lot from this thread:

–Some people would never send back an inferior dish–I’m not particularly picky about service, and tip a bit above “average” but I do explain if I have a major problem with a dish and expect a replacement or an alternative. For example, I complained about being served a totally burnt pizza–yes, the cook’s fault, but the server argued about it with me, to the extent of saying "Have you had pizza here before? (Yes, I’ve ordered it for several years). There are other examples,especially when the vegetarian dishes my husband orders come with meat.

–Different approaches to “rounding up” or choosing an amount for the store’s charity. My husband, who is a generous tipper, pointed out that it gives the store credit rather than us (and we do have some charities we prefer to support. Of course, that means very little with today’s contributions limits, but it’s the principle.

–Many share my annoyance with having to choose a tip when paying at a counter. Haven’t gotten food or much service at the point…and who gets it?

You assume they sent us burnt pizza, it never happened, so I don’t know what I would do. I usually don’t make them redo anything if the food is edible, I don’t want to wait and don’t want my table to wait either.

Yesterday I ordered some El Pollo(fast food chicken like KFC) through the drive through window and there was no tipping screen, the employee there just swiped the card for us.


I agree. We give a fair bit to charity but a) we get to choose which charities; b) we get the credit (although I don’t care about this); and c) we get the tax deduction (this turns out to be a big win for companies as they get the tax deduction on millions of dollars in rounded up amounts).


I love traveling in places that don’t have essentially mandatory tipping on things.

A lot of this comes from underpaying folks (waiters, uber drives, etc.) and expecting them to make things up in tips. Honestly, just charge me more and pay them the difference.


It’s probably has nothing to do with not paying decent wages. I was eating at a Waldorf restaurant in Lucern, when they heard my American accent, the waiter asked for tipping. This also happened at 2 other restaurants, but they didn’t ask the local people.

@DrGoogle123, I think your point and mine are tied together. Non-Americans know that Americans expect to tip, and they are happy to be recipients (not in Japan and some Asian countries, where tipping in some circumstances would be considered an insult). The expectations that Americans have to tip even when there is no special service arose, I suspect, because some industries, like hospitality, have business models that require tipping for workers to make a decent wage.

The tipping culture has gotten really out of control when perfectly decently compensated folks have the expectation that they will always be tipped.

I am a little confused about tipping maids in hotels (not that in current hotels there is much maid service). The only reason to tip someone I never see to perform a service that should be a minimum standard (clean room) is because the hotels can pay less if they transfer some of the wages directly to customers. But, if hotels have baked tips into their compensation, then maybe I should be tipping.

In California they pay $15 for waitressing jobs, they still expect tipping.

They should pay it everywhere (the prevailing minimum wage per the location) - and they should expect tips. They pay $2.13 in TN. I was at lunch one day and saw someone I knew and the place was packed - and I said to that person - wow, you must kill it.

And he said - nope - it’s like this two hours - the rest of the shift I’m rolling silverware.

Minimum wage is that and so they deserve it in CA. And tips. Certain jobs come with perks. I get a car and an expectation of an annual bonus that equals X % of my salary. My brother in law is the guy, who when you leave a taxi in Vegas, takes your bags out and gives to the bellhop. While I always thought you tipped at the room, dude makes sick $$ in tips.

He makes a salary too - like a waiter.

A tip is “voluntary” - none of us have to tip. But at the same time, it’s the expectation of someone when they take a job. And we know the rule as customers - at least on full service offerings.

Perhaps if businesses started to pay better, they wouldn’t have to close for lack of staff - like many restaurants are.

These sub-minimum wage laws are frankly - sub human.

So yes, they should expect tipping!!!

I do tip them in California, but the argument that they expect tips because they don’t make living wages doesn’t hold true in Europe. But Americans like to tip even when the local custom doesn’t require it.

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Ordered two pizzas today. Called, ordered and had to drive to pick up. Tip = 0.0%


I do not think anyone “deserves” a tip and they certainly should not expect one if they are making minimum wage. If someone decides to tip that is their choice.

To my knowledge the custom started in the US as employers were allowed to pay less than minimum wage. Once servers make minimum wage I will not tip unless there is some extraordinary. Why does the cook, busboy, etc not get a tip?

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As I wrote, a tip is voluntary.

Here in the south they don’t make minimum. Tips get them there.

As for cooks and busboys, their pay also depends on the establishment but it is common they are tipped out by the wait staff…ie they don’t keep them all. My daughter was a hostess and was tipped out.