Have your counselor address. I would not address. You cannot say the death is the cause of the C. You don’t know the cause and that can seem like excuse making. Sorry for your loss - and yes, your school can guide your chancing best as a private.
As for $17k at NU, if that’s your favorite then take your shot. But there are a lot of like schools that perhaps you might like better ? Rice, Wash U, Emory, Vandy - they may be a slightly bit easier in. Make sure you visit if you can to ensure you like it b4 binding yourself four years.
But most important is that affordable and assured - hence your in state. Get your ACT up and Bama becomes close. UAH, Louisiana Tech and may be others.
But many meet need (but will be hard to get into). UNC and UVA are the two flagships that do (as opposed to UM and the UCs you had listed).
Run their NPCs.
Here’s a third party list of meets need schools. Many will be need aware - meaning finances may be used to help determine admissibility.
Good luck