It’s about to be two months since I’ve moved into my University and I still don’t feel any progress of happiness. I told myself I would stay until winter quarter to see how I feel or if anything changes, but thinking about another 3 months here makes me sick to my stomach. I’m so sad all the time, the only time I feel good is when I’m partying or around certain people. I hate that I’m depending on other things other than myself for happiness. What should I dooooo, I hate feeling this way
My daughter went through the same thing- she called us crying every night. I wanted to go to her but my husband didn’t think that was the right thing to do. (She went with her best friend but never saw the friend!)
What she did was she volunteered on campus at the clinic. Volunteering and getting a campus job helped her to make friends who were on similar paths.
She’s in pharmacy school now and, although all of her friends are all over the state, she always talks to them, goes on trips with them, and socializes. None of these students were in her classes; they all either volunteered or worked with her.
If it’s less expensive to go home, to a school that has your major, then that is something to think about.
That’s the thing, I have a job and I’m in a club so i’ve met sooo many people but I still don’t feel like myself. The school that I’m considering transferring to does have the major I would like to
pursue, it’s cheaper, and it’s closer to home.
I really need all the advice I could get. Please, anyone !!
If you were my child and you were really that miserable, to the point that you were using “partying” as a crutch to feel better, then I would encourage you to come home and commute to the cheaper school.
Not all kids are ready to, or should, leave home their Freshman year of college. My son is a high school senior now and has gone back and forth, but ultimately we think (as does he), that he would do better going to a community college for 2 years while living at home. And then he can transfer into a UC school when he really feels ready.
Yeah I definitely realize partying isn’t something I should depend on for happiness., that’s why I know there’s probably something wrong. And I agree with what you said about not everyone is ready to leave their freshman year. Personally, I think I tend to perform my best when i’m near my loved ones, and this negative feeling is progressively getting worse so as of right now, I know that I want to transfer but I don’t want to regret anything or be looked down on
“Believe in yourself. Take on your challenges.
Dig deep within yourself to conquer fears.
Never let anyone bring you down.
You’ve got to keep going.”
- Chantal Sutherland
Dig deep and hit the books for now. Over winter break reconsider.
Only you can decide if transferring is the best option. But in the meantime I would seek out the counseling center at your college.
Talk to your family. It’s okay to make a change.
My son ended up at a prestigious ivy. He felt very uncomfortable being in an environment where he felt he was being judged according to what his family had and didn’t have.
He wanted to come home and we made the mistake of having him stay.
He should have come home. He finally came home, transferred schools and is doing well.
Listen to your heart.
I have been talking to my parents a lot about this, thank you so much for your advice. I do need to listen to my heart
Yes, I agree. I’m in the process of speaking to my counseling center. Thank you!
Its JMHO, but I think you should stay for your entire freshman year. That would be giving in an honest go.
I also think you need to put this out of your mind and see how you feel after being home for the holidays. You may be surprised how going home and then coming back to your second home might feel more normal after the upcoming breaks.
My suggestion is to try to keep working hard to adjust, keeping a very positive attitude but stop evaluating your choices. Live in the present and reevaluate come early spring. Good luck!
Although early in your college experience, it appears that you have solid & reasonable reasons for wanting to transfer.
Transferring to a less expensive school closer to home which offers your desired major is a well reasoned and mature evaluation which justifies transferring.
This is especially true since you have an on-campus job, belong to a club & have fun socializing but remain unhappy.
There is no reason to feel any degree of shame for transferring.
I went through this same exact experience last year to the point where it felt like I was reading my own post when I was reading yours. I made the decision to transfer to a community college my second semester and it was the best decision I made. You have to listen to your heart, whether you decide to stay or to go is up to you and whatever decision you make will be the right one.
did you end up transferring?