<p>We have a bright son, who is very shy, and have been looking at colleges in the Illinois area. He isn’t quite good enough for Northwestern where is sister is going and really wants to go to the U of W at Madison, but again and again the word ‘party’ comes up. Could he really make some friends and manage to thrive in a place like U of W? We’d really prefer a nice quiet Catholic school like Loyola or Marquette, but he’s very stubborn and says he wants to go to a college with a higher ranking. If he stayed in an 'anti-social" dorm like Barnard or Chadbourne would that help?</p>
<p>You might try posting on the sub forum -College (look over to the column on the left) and under the alphabetical listing of W, you will find the U of W-Madison link. Has your son visited these schools? Does he want that large of a school? Do you live in Illinois or Wisconsin? What does he want to study? Sorry for all the questions but it may help you get some answers. And tell him that Marquette is a very good school. (I don’t know much about Loyola.) It has a beautiful campus but it is very urban. Madison is also right in town but is, of course, a smaller city- but a neat one.</p>
<p>Many on CC and elsewhere often equate introversion with small and extroversion with large. I’ve never understood that. To me it would be equivalent to suggesting quiet people should live in small towns and can never thrive in big cities.</p>
<p>While I agree that large schools require students to have better executive functioning and the ability to take initiative, that is about it. Large schools are diverse and you can readily ‘find your people’. My quick google search found 770 student clubs! It is not the case that all 42,000 students are partying and he won’t find like minded others! And nor are the kids at Northwestern huddled in the library studying every night either. </p>
<p>One isn’t going to know the whole school, just one’s circle (or circles, if you connect through your dorm, your major, the club you feel most at home in etc.). What are his extracurriculars and are there related clubs at U of Wisconsin? Has he visited? </p>
<p>And don’t forget, many shy people actually find it easier to interact with extroverts who can keep the conversation going, rather than struggle with other quiet people. And kids also grow and change when they go to college as well. </p>
<p>Most importantly, the fact that he feels he wants to go is really important part of the equation for this kind of thing.</p>
<p>My D is a junior at UW-Madison, does not party at all, and was not dissuaded from the rep as a party school. She easily found like-minded people, and feels she has made a perfect choice. She is not shy, however. But I do feel that if your S makes it a point to get involved in at least one club that piques his interest, he should be fine.</p>
<p>And the so-called ‘anti-social’ dorms are anything but. Yes, the Sellery & Witte high-rises are known for their raucousness, but dorms like Chadbourne or any of the Lakeshore dorms are plenty social. As a freshman, my D was on the substance free floor at Cole Hall, and made lifelong friends there.</p>
<p>FWIW, I happen to think a large, diverse university is perfect for a shy kid that wants to branch out. Something for everyone, and less clique-y as well.</p>