<p>Since starting college I am not feeling interested in my home friends. I am home for a week and would rather stay home and chill or shop with my mother than see my old high school friends. I’ve met a group of people at school who are more “real” and I feel much more comfortable with them. My home friends can be so braggy and judgemental and catty that I don’t like them!</p>
<p>I teach college freshmen, and I hear from a number of them that a similar thing happens around this time of year or even earlier. Their social focus is now on their school friends rather than their home friends.</p>
<p>Well, that sounds a little judgemental and catty, away. :D</p>
<p>Just kidding.</p>
<p>Give your friends from home some time. Everyone is trying to let everyone know “who they are now.” So…it’s like trying on new clothes. Some will fit and some will not and some can only be worn to the gym. But, it’s all good. You’ll figure it out. In the meantime, it’s nice to be with your mom because all SHE cares about is how YOU’VE changed, how YOU’VE grown and how YOU are. Nobody else in the world will ever be that focused on you, again…enjoy it.</p>
<p>Absolutely. DD kept 1-3 close friends from HS after she went away to school. Now it is down really pretty much to the one best friend. She has even “unfriended” old HS acquaintances that she does not care about any more. It’s normal. Interests change. Reference points are not the same for conversations. Time to move on so don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>I’ve been warning my son about this since he left for college in the fall. He keeps telling me I’m crazy, it’s not like that with his friends (true, they have all been together since 1st grade, very tight-knit). Anyway, so far whenever he’s home he’s with his hs friends. He’s home on spring break this week and has been out with them (the few that are also on spring break) every night!</p>
<p>I think what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. Sometimes, after college the kids who return to their hometown reconnect once again but it can be hard during this time because your life is now basically at college, not at home.</p>
<p>It’s OK. Think about it. Your time, energy, emotion, social interactions, interests, activities – they are all centered around college now. And who is sharing those with you? Your college friends. As time goes by, you value different things, you grow, you understand more about what you want in a friend. You’re fine.</p>
<p>And BTW, your mom loves it that you want to hang with her. :)</p>
<p>I really, really, really grew out of most of my “home” friends when I moved to school. I came home and realized all of their interactions consist of sitting around trying to out-intellectualize each other, which was never something I was into and I always ended up feeling like the idiot of the group in HS because of that, a feeling that they actively enforced. When I go home I just hang out with my mom and my boyfriend. I needed to stop associating with them to salvage my self-respect. </p>
<p>I do have one friend from home though that I’ve stuck with, but we’ve been friends since pre-school and she wasn’t a part of my main high school crowd.</p>
<p>It’s cool to spend a little less time with old friends if your interests change, but remember that you don’t need to completely shut the door on old relationships in order to turn a page. As long as these are healthy friendships, you will be happy as the years go by to maintain some type of connection to folks who have known you the longest. I have a friend that I have known since preschool, and others that I have known since junior high. It’s a rich and enjoyable thing to still be in contact with them even into middle age.</p>
<p>It’s OK. I remember my son coming home from a party during Christmas a couple years ago and telling us he had “fun” but he didn’t really have much in common with his old friends anymore. It’s part of life growth. Some friends will stick with you into your old age and others will trickle away and become less of the center of your life, you’ll add new friends in college and then again when you enter the work force. It’s an ebb and flow…not to worry. I think that’s why “older” folks have taken to social networking as it gives them a chance to reconnect with old friends that have trickled and moved out of the close circle over the years.</p>
<p>Thank you for this thread. It is so helpful to hear other parents clarify something that was vague in your own understanding. This happened at our house, too. In a slightly different form - S1 was home over the summer after freshman year, and a bit nervous about going back. After getting back to school he commented, “I forgot how cool my friends here were.” It made the transition easier - sophomore year can be unsettled as majors have to be declared, the newness has worn off, and the realization comes that there is much hard work ahead.</p>
<p>People are friends because of common, shared experience. If you get married some day and have kids, you´ll find yourself drifting away from your single friends, and vice versa. If your went away to a college different than your friends from high school (you went to 4 year college and your friends went to CC or went to work) then you will find you have less in common with them.</p>
<p>D1 is still very close to her high school friends. They all went to similar colleges. Over breaks they have much to share and discuss. Almost all of ther high school friends will be working in NYC after college graduation this June. As a matter of fact, D1 will be sharing an apartment with her HS best friend when they start working. Both of them will be in the same line of work, so they have much in common.</p>