<p>There’s a lot of FUD about the House system. So far, I’ve logged nearly five terms in this hellhole, and the most important contributor to any House-related social isolation seems to be that the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.</p>
<p>Take Webhappy up there, for example, and his tales of drunken chanting on Thursdays. I’m a member of the House that does things on Thursdays, call it Animal House, and I’m willing to bet cold hard yen that he’s never actually taken a second look to ascertain what’s going on. This thing on Thursdays has been an Animal House tradition for a long time and the purpose of the event is to get loaded (in strict accordance with the alcohol policy, of course. HEIL BALTIMORE!) and hang out with friends. I very much enjoy this: people from all seven Houses show up, there’s usually music, it’s relaxing, et cetera. Like a small Interhouse party but without the desperate and frustrating attempts to get laid. It’s fun, capisce?</p>
<p>Now, it will occasionally happen that some people form up and march through the Houses and sometimes even Avery Correctional Facility, roaring, thumping closed doors, and singing obscene carols at the top of their lungs, and in “people” I include myself. But this isn’t what Thursday nights are about, it’s just something that happens once in a while. It’s not like we spend a lot of time in any given alley, because the last thing you want to do on a House tour is run out of roar before you go through all of them. And if it happens to remind some of the occupants of the rooms we go past that there’s an outside world, maybe that’s a good thing. God knows enough of them spend their free time alone in darkened rooms, furiously manipulating their Rubik’s Cubes with steamy, explicit cubing diagrams on their monitors.</p>
<p>I personally think the House system is awesome. I was pretty timid and antisocial when I got here. I actually didn’t rank Animal House on my Rotation thingamajig because I was scared I wouldn’t get any work done, and was chosen by one of my first choices, Booty House, and I wasn’t a very good Booty Houser either. But exposure to this kind of thing in both Booty and Animal House cured me and now I’m just lazy and bitter.</p>
<p>The key thing about making the House system work for you is to really probe each House during Prefrosh Weekend and Rotation. If you can find the House that’s right for you, you will be much less likely to make yourself a cyanide sandwich one day. Hanging out with people who think like me doesn’t get old or wear on the nerves, it actually gets better as time goes on, because of the shared experiences. You’ll be like, “Dude, remember that time when we did that thing?” and your Housemates will be like, “Yeah, that thing! Rock!”</p>
<p>But it only works if you can find the House that’s right for you personally. If you’re not happy in a House, or even just blah, you have a pretty good chance of going ■■■■■ or burning out. So go to all your Rotation events, but remember that Rotation isn’t going to magically tell you what Houses you should rank for maximun happiness just by your attendance at dinner. You have to talk to everyone and spend time in the Houses that you’re interested in. Remember, you’re on pass/fail, so you have no reason to do your homework. If you must do homework, do it in a courtyard or common area, it’s a good way to catch the feel of a House.</p>
<p>In conclusion, if you come here and you’re boring, I will kill you and bury your body in the parking garage construction site. Thank you, goodnight, and don’t eat the “beef stuff” at Prefrosh Weekend.</p>