<p>A few months ago, I signed up for a week long public speaking/international relations summer program - the program itself cost 800 dollars but I received a scholarship that covered the entire cost. I am a veteran of the program, and I loved it before and I was excited to attend.</p>
<p>However, a series of financial and personal problems arose immediately in the past week that made it virtually impossible for me to attend. My parents “convinced” me that I didn’t need to tell the program that I wouldn’t be attending since it was only a week long and there’d be well over 100 people in attendance and I wouldn’t be missed. </p>
<p>But they were wrong, today is the first day of the five day program and the program called me/left me voicemails/emailed me asking where I was. I <em>cannot</em> go despite looking forward to this program for three months. The aforementioned problems were so overwhelming and immediate (emergency room stays, etc) that I forgot about the program starting this week. </p>
<p>Is it worth emailing them to explain why I can’t go? My parents told me to just keep quiet. I feel horrible because I was on a scholarship to go. Almost everyone there (international and transnational students included) are full pay - only a select few receive scholarships. I don’t know what to do. It is causing me a tremendous amount of stress atop the stress I’m already going through. I feel so irresponsible and stupid. </p>
<p>I don’t know why on earth your parents want you to “keep quiet”. Of COURSE the school wants to know where you are-you’ve been there before so they “know” you, and you apparently wanted to go so badly you applied for a scholarship. This isn’t up to your parents. YOU got the scholarship, now act like a future college student and take responsibility for letting the program know what happened. I would think that sudden illness including an emergency room visit would be enough of an excuse.</p>
<p>If you don’t contact them, it’s quite likely you will not be allowed to attend in the future, scholarship or not. Ignoring something until it goes away is never a solution. You know that or you wouldn’t be asking. Since the program emailed you, ANSWER THEM. Unless your parents are monitoring your email and STOP you, you have nothing to lose.</p>
<p>I’m a bit bewildered by your parents’ attitude. Don’t compound a mistake in judgement with another mistake in judgement - email them and tell them why you couldn’t attend. Thank them for the opportunity, and apologize for your absence.</p>
<p>Just to clarify - this is a program at a school that I won’t be matriculating at in the fall and I didn’t apply for the scholarship, I was just awarded it after being notified that I had been registered. It’s geared towards 9th graders - to rising C.Freshman; so I won’t/can’t apply in the future. </p>
<p>My parents’ rationale is that we already have so much going on that the program should be the least of my priorities - it isn’t so much keeping quiet to avoid the problem, more along the lines of “why bother emailing them when we have so much on our plate to deal with already, don’t worry about it” They don’t think its a real issue. I’m the only one worried about it. </p>
<p>Ok, so if you hadn’t received the scholarship, your parents would have had to pay $800? Would that have made their decision different?They may still be responsible for some part of that, as you did not attend.</p>
<p>And some deserving student probably did not get to attend, because you failed to give notice.</p>
<p>Responsible behavior takes some time to develop. Your parents are, unfortunately, encouraging you to be thoughtless and irresponsible, but clearly you know they are wrong.</p>
<p>I already emailed them. I posted this five minutes after I received the voicemail/automated email.</p>
<p>As for having taken the spot away from another student - that wouldn’t have been the case, there is no wait list (at least not one which would notify people three days before the program which is when all of this started) - and the program itself didn’t have an admissions committee or anything of that nature. The actual application itself was just personal/contact information - I received the scholarship because I attended a particular public high school that works with the program where all the kids who go get that specific scholarship - I was the only person this year that signed up. </p>
<p>With the whole bit about my parents feeling differently if they had paid themselves, that really isn’t a totally valid question because the scholarship and my application go hand in hand - I wouldn’t have applied if I wasn’t told that I’d be receiving aid to attend.</p>
<p>Here’s the thing - being responsible and considering the situation of others is always a good idea. You never know when it may come back around. Say the person who emailed you ended up being the alum who interviewed you for your dream college, or the person who interviewed you for your first job. The world is a small place.</p>
<p>I think it was good that you emailed them, and I think you probably knew it was the right thing to do all along. Standing people up is never a good idea, be it in regards to a casual rendezvous with friends or a program like this. </p>
<p>I’ve done my fair share of stuff like this and have since learned to always send a quick email or give them a call beforehand. I’d want notice if someone were to bail on me, so I try to extend that same courtesy. </p>
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