<p>My son is 14 years old, just finished his freshman year at a prep school in Colorado.
He is passionate about computers and he has tested as profoundly gifted.
His grades do not reflect his amazing ability. His history teacher says that he is the most brilliant student he has encountered and that his insights and analysis are way beyond his years, nevertheless, his grade in the class is a low B because my son doesn’t put effort into his work (essays ). He has scored in the 99.9% in the Science section of the Stanford Achievement , but is getting a low B in the class because he doesn’t like his teacher ( she gets annoyed when he points out some of her mistakes in class).
His one passion is Computers, and he will most likely follow this path. He has already taken a lot of computer summer camps over the years, but they stopped being challenging a couple of years ago. He was going to take Computer Science AP his sophomore year, but there is a conflict with him taking the Spanish AP , and the academic Dean recommended he stay with the language track so he doesn’t ‘forget’ the grammar by not taking Spanish for a whole year.
I want him to succeed as well as be happy. Don’t want his average grades to jeopardize his college choices, but don’t want to create a stressed out teenager either.
Any advice on what to do in order to build a ‘resume’ that reflects his intellect and helps compensate for mediocre grades ?</p>
<p>Send him to humility camp. Seriously, his attitude will hold him back in life if he doesn’t straighten it out. Obviously, he needs classes that challenge him intellectually, but he’s not getting a B in science because he doesn’t like the teacher–he’s getting it because he’s not doing the work. Let him spend the summer doing some kind of manual labor.</p>
<p>As I reread this, it seems harsh. But this is a familiar pattern, and parents can too readily buy into it.</p>
<p>I agree that he really should fix up his attitude, because it already seems to be holding him back. The “manual labor” Hunt suggested may seem a bit intense, but it’s a pretty good idea. Maybe if you sent him on a “mission” trip, or even went with him, he would start to appreciate what he has a little more and start actually working to his potential. Also, maybe if you were to get him to take some college classes or do some work with professors he would be less bored, because that also may be a big part of the problem. In addition to helping him shape up, it would look good on a resume.</p>
<p>By sophomore year most “camps” run cold for the really bright. CC and the Hoagies website are good sources of summer programs for the over-the-top kids. But moving on to a job or college is probably better. Suggest that he walk into 5 local computer repair places and ask for a summer internship. </p>
<p>And me thinks that, as with many very bright kids, social maturity has not kept pace or is even behind. A little tough love is in order. What helped us: 5 early college visits. I put together a profile for DD and for 5 selected colleges to visit, including “lousy grade schools” though MIT including sitting in on a class at each. She quickly figured out that she did not want to go to Podunk U and that her current grade profile was heading that way. She liked the MIT and Olin classes, looked at the admitted student profile and changed her grades. Smart kids will put a plan in place if you make the needed information available. You don’t need to say a thing - just show them.</p>
<p>Average grades will hurt his college prospects; improvement may well come from taking more challenging classes in his area of interest. D’s grades (and attitude) went up when she moved up a level; the poor behaviors of the other students and slow pace in the lower level classes made her despise it all. Now that she is the only white girl firmly ensconced with the Asian boarding students she is happy (if a bit lonely) and gets good grades.</p>
<p>Richard Feyman, the greatest physicist of our day, spent college summers working as a waiter at resort hotels. My “beyond the measurable range” D finds that she need the mental rest of a non-academic summer, and prefers working with adults - she grows, emotionally, during the summers.</p>
<p>Beware of guidance counselors who obsess over humanities/language for science kids. Dump the Spanish and you don’t need AP Spanish or 4 years of a language for CS anyway. Focus on what he loves. GCs nearly always have a humanities background, and have little resonance with the needs (academic or emotional) of smart science and engineering students. Feel free to ignore them or even get a little pushy. D wanted to take double science/double math to catch up with the Asian boarding students, plus take computer programing. GC obsessed over 4 years of a foreign language. Five multi-player meetings later, DD is doing double math/double science, and happy as a clam. Science wonks rarely become GC, so don’t expect guidance counselors have a clue.</p>
<p>I agree with other people about attitude and stuff, but your son should also look at the USA Computing Olympiad, usaco.uwp.edu and ace.delos.com/usacogate, and then also TopCoder contests, [Programming</a> Contests, Software Development, and Employment Services at TopCoder](<a href=“http://www.topcoder.com/tc]Programming”>Topcoder), both of which are pretty high quality and I would say go above what’s needed on the AP CS test.</p>
<p>I would look into seeing if there is an Academic Decathalon team at the school - my DD got involved with that in freshman year and it really challenged her. She became involved with the top upperclassmen kids and they encouraged her to keep her grades up.</p>
<p>You can try to tell your S that he cannot miss assignments - he must turn in every assignment. This worked for us too - if they get into the habit of turning everything in the grades usually follow.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice, from the ones suggesting that he get a summer job to checking out different colleges, etc. And the different contests that were mentioned sound very interesting … will definitely look into it.
Just a bit more of background … we lived in Central America until last August 08. He has lived in an underdeveloped country all of his life and my son has been exposed to all sorts of poverty around us. He used to volunteer with me at the local hospital, working with therapy dogs, and overall he is a very kind and conscientious kid.
I’m thinking that for next summer it would be good for him to spend several weeks in Guatemala and do community service there. We have family and friends there and this would re-connect him with his roots. </p>
<p>One thing happened to him at the age of 10 … I noticed he developed a facial tick which was later attributed to anxiety and stress (school related). At that point I made the decision to back off ( I had been a controlling parent) . He even told me when he was 11 " Let me suffer my own consequences … that’s the only way I will learn" !!!
He is liked by all of his teachers and classmates very much ( except for his Bio teacher who I believe feels threatened ).
I went to a talk given by Michael Thompson, MD . He wrote “Raising Cain” and his talk was fascinating. He was focusing on the dangers of pressuring your kids at a young age and how in the long run it can be detrimental. I heard this talk at about the same time that my son developed his tics, which contributed in great part to my backing off.
I guess I have very mixed feelings … at present more interested in emotional health than scholastic success. But don’t want to have him miss opportunities.
I will re-read all your advice and take the tips given. Thanks !!</p>
<p>One other option that hasn’t been mentioned is homeschooling, which, at your son’s age, really means self schooling.
My son had similar issues, although different academic interests (tested off the charts in all areas, brilliant writer intensely interested in international politics, history and the sciences) He chose to homeschool for the 9th grade and mastered AP Physics, AP US history and assorted other subjects. </p>
<p>It was a huge success for him-- pulling together his own materials (even finding a physics tutor when he hit a bit of a wall) AND made him realize what he did like about school (girls). He then went to a public HS for the next three years. But, because of his homeschool experience, he knew exactly why he was in High School (to maintain a social life) and understood that his actual education was up to him. He is now headed off to a great school with a 80% merit scholarship (unless he gets of the Harvard waitlist, which seems less likely by the day).</p>
<p>Have you contacted the Davidson Institute? They are very helpful with guidance for profoundly gifted children.</p>
<p>You may want to consider having him psychologically tested for things like anxiety, aspergers, non verbal learning disability ect… Success requires social skills as well as brilliance and those who are very gifted often need more help with the social side of things.</p>
<p>You might want to read this article:
[11-Year-Old</a> Graduates From LA College | NBC Los Angeles](<a href=“Local – NBC Los Angeles”>Local – NBC Los Angeles)</p>
<p>Thanks again for all the new input.
I had him tested at the Gifted Development Center ln CO and at the time they suggested an IEP plan or home schooling. Since we lived outside of the USA, neither option was very practical and I didn’t want him to miss out on being a kid . He has appropriate social skills, goes to parties, hangs out with friends, etc. I should mention that his tics disappeared with acupuncture as well as by not having me breathe down his neck with every report card.
I appreciate all the good advice ! And by the way, I will look into the Davidson Institute tonight.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Yes, this is a good suggestion. </p>
<p>[Davidson</a> Institute ~ Programs & Scholarships](<a href=“http://www.davidsongifted.org/youngscholars/]Davidson”>Davidson Young Scholars for the Highly Gifted | Gifted Program)</p>
<p>You might want to look into CTY, TIP, or other similar summer programs in addition to Davidson:</p>
<p>[Duke</a> Talent Identification Program](<a href=“http://www.tip.duke.edu/]Duke”>http://www.tip.duke.edu/)</p>
<p>[Home</a> Page](<a href=“http://cty.jhu.edu/]Home”>http://cty.jhu.edu/)</p>
<p>^ CTY probably won’t work; most talent search programs require you to take the SAT in 7th or 8th grade. But I think Duke’s TIP offers a summer course where the SAT isn’t mandatory and it only takes 60 per summer.</p>
<p>For CTY, SAT scores from 7th through 10th grade will work: [Summer</a> Programs](<a href=“http://cty.jhu.edu/summer/oselig.html#after]Summer”>http://cty.jhu.edu/summer/oselig.html#after)</p>
<p>For CTY you can use SAT, ACT, or PSAT scores from any grade. I qualified with my sophomore PSAT scores this year.</p>
<p>Hi, Cristina –</p>
<p>(I registered to offer some advice. I found this website while surfing for news of the Tatum Bass vs. Miss Porter’s School lawsuit.) </p>
<p>My gifted son is in his early thirties now, so some of what I have to say may be dated, but here it is:</p>
<p>1) Be careful of jealous adults who will try to sabotage your efforts to help your son. There’s a lot of prejudice against the gifted. We see this in the current bad economy where gifted programs are cut. We see it in schools where there is often a push to put the gifted with the average and the below average, so the gifted may help those less intelligent. (We see it in this thread, where you were advised to send your child to “humility camp”.) Etc.</p>
<p>2) Expect little or no help from teachers and administrators. My son attended a private school, and in seventh grade, when he was applying to TIP, his principal gave me the WRONG school I.D. number to put on the application form. I discovered the error in time. When I asked her about it, she said, “We’ve had kids go to TIP before, and they never got anything out of it.”</p>
<p>3) Don’t allow your child to “suffer . . . consequences”, even though he thinks he wants to. He’s smart, but he’s young. Ability, but little life experience. Continue to guide him firmly. (I’ll never forget the day I heard my son yelling, “I’m IN! Mom, I’m IN!” He had just called Harvard and learned he had been accepted. “Thanks for everything, Mom!” he yelled as he hugged me.)</p>
<p>4) You’re right to think he needs a good resume. I’d dump the Spanish and let him go into the Computer AP. He won’t forget the Spanish grammar in one year. Let him watch Univision to keep up the Spanish. I agree with the poster who said let him do what he loves. Help him avoid teachers who dislike him. Tutors are great. My son was gifted in many areas, including math, so we hired a Ph.D. from a local university to tutor him. He ended up not majoring in math, but in an area of humanities. </p>
<p>5) TIP, for sure. My son is still friends with some of the kids he met during his summers at TIP. </p>
<p>6) Read ADMISSIONS (the novel) to get some ideas about what looks good on the applications. I’d suggest something outside of school to balance the school record – theater or tennis lessons, etc.</p>
<p>Oh. Sorry then. Ignore my post 
I was talking about the talent search and I didn’t realize that CTY had summer programs :]</p>
<p>I third the recommendation for CTY, although I think he might be too old now that he is in HS [ it’s great for younger gifted kids. ]Instead, you should look into having him start taking online math and other HS and college level classes through Stanford’s EPGY program, especially if he is happier learning at his own[ fast] pace. MIT also has all it’s courses available online[ for auditing purposes only].He may even want to transition into being home schooled through EPGY. I would also highly recommend the EPGY summer program.
[EPGY</a> Summer Institutes](<a href=“http://epgy.stanford.edu/summer/]EPGY”>http://epgy.stanford.edu/summer/)
[Education</a> Program for Gifted Youth](<a href=“http://epgy.stanford.edu/]Education”>http://epgy.stanford.edu/)
[Stanford</a> University EPGY Online High School](<a href=“http://epgy.stanford.edu/ohs/index.html]Stanford”>http://epgy.stanford.edu/ohs/index.html)</p>
<p>And I agree strongly with Saga that you need to continue to guide him, as he is still only a kid. She is absolutely right to say this:
“Don’t allow your child to “suffer . . . consequences”, even though he thinks he wants to. He’s smart, but he’s young. Ability, but little life experience.”
Help him find choices and opportunities that are available for the gifted, but make sure you let him know that he is expected to do the work. To those that much is given, much is expected.</p>