<p>& in other news-
[Mormon</a> Leader Sorry for Prop 8 Pain - Advocate.com](<a href=“http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/09/29/Mormon_Leader_Sorry_for_Prop_8_Pain/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AdvocatecomDailyNews+(Advocate.com+Daily+News)&utm_content=FaceBook]Mormon”>http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/09/29/Mormon_Leader_Sorry_for_Prop_8_Pain/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AdvocatecomDailyNews+(Advocate.com+Daily+News)&utm_content=FaceBook)
But I read it as * apologizing for Palin*
;)</p>
<p>After reading what is going on at Rutgers and Univ of Michigan, I’m convinced that ‘better’ isn’t good enough.</p>
<p>Here’s a heartwarming story: My hairdresser, a gay guy, has been cutting my hair since Fang Jr. was a baby. From time to time, he mentioned that his conservative family had disowned him when he came out (or when they discovered he was gay, or something) as a young man. He was clearly sad and bitter about it; he came home for Christmas one year and his family said hateful things and threw him out. It sounded like an awful experience.</p>
<p>He’s now maybe around 58 or 59. A few months ago, his family re-established contact with him. Turns out they had changed their views, they missed their son/brother, and they had been looking for him for several years. They invited him to a big family reunion, and welcomed him back. Now suddenly he has brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews he had never even met. He proudly showed me pictures of himself with his sister and a couple of beautiful nieces. I’m so happy for him.</p>
<p>People can change.</p>
<p>That’s nice to hear, Cardinal Fang. I’m glad he found it in his heart to forgive them – or at least try to move forward. It can’t have been easy.</p>
<p>I’ve been so upset about all of this the last few days. It makes me wish my son were home with me. Even though I know he’s fine.</p>
<p>God. This is the first I’ve heard of the Rutgers story:</p>
<p>[Rutgers</a> freshman kills self after classmates use hidden camera to watch his sexual activity: sources](<a href=“http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/09/29/2010-09-29_rutgers_freshmen_busted_for_spying_on_fellow_students_online_sex_session_officia.html]Rutgers”>http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/09/29/2010-09-29_rutgers_freshmen_busted_for_spying_on_fellow_students_online_sex_session_officia.html)</p>
<p>I know I keep saying “how horrible,” but that’s how I feel.</p>
<p>That’s a nice story, C Fang.</p>
<p>The Rutgers story is horrible, as is the Houston story and all the others out there. They point out incredibly bad behavior on the part of the bulliers. </p>
<p>But, and I know I may get in trouble here for saying this, I think these stories also point out that society/ school/parents etc. are not doing a very good job of helping kids realize that suicide is not the right answer to handling emotional pain. </p>
<p>I know that suicide is the leading cause of death among 18-25 yr olds- higher I think than even auto accidents. As a society we have a critical problem with teen depression and suicide. </p>
<p>And even though we all feel that the bulliers drove the victim to it, the victim’s decision was not the only option he/she had to resolve the situation. Somehow we need to get that message out as well as the message that bullying is wrong.</p>
<p>I am bipolar- & have suicidal tendencies and have had my whole life.</p>
<p>Depression is not something you can reason away.
While support is important- you can also be hurting so bad- making it stop is the only thing you feel- you smell- you taste- you hear- just making it stop.
Doesn’t matter how you make it stop.</p>
<p>I think the It Gets Better Project is intended to help teens and young people over the bridge to adulthood and wider acceptance, but as someone who doesn’t have to deal with demons on the outside, only within, I want to say, those can be formidable.</p>
<p>^ Sorry, I wasn’t trying to make it sound like suicide solved anything- sucky day :p</p>
<p>I agree we need more information and support about available resources, because while being bipolar is pretty difficult to treat
( but that doesn’t mean it is isn’t worth trying because with behavior mod- support, medication- ice cream… lots of tools out there to make it better & the down times are fewer & fewer between)
- other types of depression are more manageable & acute depression brought on by a crisis- in many cases can be gotten through to a eventual happy ending.</p>
<p>These stories make me Mad! And sad beyond words. They remind me of the loneliness and feelings of abject despair being a victim of bullying can bring. Why is it that teachers and administrators always turn a blind eye to the blatant cruelty being perpetrated right in front of them? I tried to end my own life with pills as a teen because of bullying. Those were the darkest years of my life. Parents of victims need to take legal action that will cause entire school systems to sit up and take notice, if for no other reason than the fact that it may cost them financially. If I were the parent of a gay teen (or any child) who was bullied to death, I would sue every responsible entity I could think of, starting with the parents of the little $h!ts that were torturing my child, then moving on to his teachers who pretended they didn’t see anything, and the administrators who refused to enforce the school’s supposed “No Bullying” policy, and finally, the entire freaking school board, because obviously, parents and school systems are not taking this crisis seriously. But, everyone takes their money seriously. If it will cost them financially, a lot of people will suddenly find the motivation to end the culture of bullying.</p>
<p>poetsheart- I agree in principle with you. But I can also see that many families, after such a devaststing loss, woudln’t want to relive it through the courts. Also- the family may not have the financial resources to fight a large school system, which does have sharp legal counsel.</p>
<p>"But, and I know I may get in trouble here for saying this, I think these stories also point out that society/ school/parents etc. are not doing a very good job of helping kids realize that suicide is not the right answer to handling emotional pain. "</p>
<p>There are things that parents/society/school can’t teach. If one is in a great deal of pain, ending it all can seem to be the only option. It’s as if your hand were in a fire: You wouldn’t believe someone who said there were other options beside pulling it out.</p>
<p>Oh, NSM, I agree with your comment. Having lost a brother to suicide I know that he had gotten to the point of no return. </p>
<p>I could better phrase my earlier statement by saying that I don’t think society, et al is doing a very good job of endorsing mental health services and/or educating about them, and/or making them affordable and easily available prior to the person hitting the point of no return.</p>
<p>I agree that much more needs to be done to make mental health services available and acceptable to the public.</p>
<p>Finally, finally, finally, the local TV news is covering the Texas case mentioned here and doing a segment on bullying and how parents can train their children to respond to bullying. (big whoop- what do you do if the complaints don’t get a response???)</p>
<p>Another suicide; another gay teenager who apparently wasn’t able to believe that things get better:</p>
<p>[Oklahoma</a> gay teen commits suicide after ?toxic? city council debate – LGBTQ Nation](<a href=“http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2010/10/oklahoma-gay-teen-commits-suicide-after-toxic-city-council-debate/]Oklahoma”>http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2010/10/oklahoma-gay-teen-commits-suicide-after-toxic-city-council-debate/)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>More at link. </p>
<p>To anyone who wants to come here and make nasty comments about gay people not being persecuted in this country, and belittle people’s concern about these suicides (and you know who you are): please stay away. This isn’t the election and politics forum, fortunately.</p>
<p>These suicides are just so awful.</p>
<p>I hate to even think this, but we know that publicizing suicides can cause copycat suicides… I wonder if the recent publicity for the young gays who commit suicide could be making it more likely for another gay child to commit suicide.</p>
<p>In my area, there’s one high school, not a particularly big one, that has had FOUR suicides in the last two years, definitely a copycat effect.</p>
<p>God. And another one, this time a 19-year old trans woman:</p>
<p>[Clovis</a> family speaks out against bullying | abc30.com](<a href=“http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=7717252]Clovis”>http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=7717252)</p>
<p>As part of the “It Gets Better” project, the cast and crew of the Jersey Boys national tour also did a video. One of the cast members of that show is a dear friend of my d’s and of mine. In fact, I first saw this video on Facebook on this guy’s page. We first met him when he and my d both were friends in HS. This is a wonderfully talented, dear young man who just SHINES and who, in the video, talks about how hard it was at first for his mom to understand but now she is his best friend and supporter.</p>
<p>Things don’t have to be awful in HS. My daughter helped start the first support group for LGBT kids in her school because she saw the pain that several of her personal friends were going through. I was pretty proud of her!</p>
<p>cmm, You should be proud of her and I am proud of her too!</p>