<p>The father of the teenager who wrote the bitter letter to four Ivy League Colleges that rejected her today branded the college admissions process a ‘crap shoot’ and admitted there’s ‘an element of bitterness’ that her hard work didn’t win her a place.</p>
<p>Yes it’s a crapshoot but not the end of the world. My son didn’t get into the Ivy Leagues, and now (boo hoo!) he is left with three choices that he needs to make by May 1- Johns Hopkins, WUSTL, or University of Michigan. He is so excited to have this opportunity, so please- do not let getting into an Ivy League be the only thing that defines you. There are 8 Ivy League schools and numerous schools on par with them, no matter what some ranking system says.</p>
<p>The father sounds like he hasn’t bothered to understand the admissions process and has no clue that the majority of applicants to top schools are highly qualified for the relatively small number of spots available. Despite the wit in the letter, it’s a bit mocking and not likely to be funny to the people who did make the personal sacrifices to work with starving African children, face the very real setbacks brought about by discrimination, and work their tails off otherwise to better their world and themselves beyond what she did. She seems to somewhat trivialize the trials and accomplishments of others who were accepted. While she may be a very good student who is academically well prepared, top schools have so many applicants that it only makes sense to set a finer filter and pick students who have gone well beyond where she has gone. Even so, similar students may have different results because no school with limited openings wants a lot of similar students. They want diversity of thought, origin, interests, background knowledge, and so on. That doesn’t make it a crap shoot. It makes it a challenging task for the admissions committee. And, the bit of attitude that she seems to display may have been detected by the admissions committees as well. My own son had ten amazing admissions results, but he was still rejected by a couple of schools and waitlisted by a couple. The valedictorian at an IB school he attended for most of high school didn’t get into any, until I worked with her during what we billed as her “gap year,” and then she got into three. One of my son’s friends who attended an extremely selective summer program with him was rejected from all top schools. Maybe this family could have benefitted from some outside advice early in the EC planning process or in the college admissions process. Things are not always what we think when we only see from our spot in the world. I would advise the family to get her a really good college advisor to design an amazing gap year and to reframe her for applications next year. She only has seven months left before most RD applications are due for Class of 2018.</p>
<p>Apple falling close to the tree. Can their 15 minutes of fame end to let that obnoxious family take its place next to the Chua and Ferguson morons?</p>
<p>I saw the girl in a televised interview. (Today show maybe?) She’s charming, self-deprecating, and excited about her college choice, and she made quite clear that her “letter” was satirical (though it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone could see it as anything but a humor piece). As for her father, I don’t see anything he said that was incorrect (you mean admission to the Ivies is NOT a crapshoot?) or “obnoxious”. The parents are very successful and affluent; the kids are apparently all on good paths. The family is to be applauded. What is truly obnoxious is the nastiness, envy, and bitterness that has been exhibited in reaction to Ms. Weiss’ writing, and the snottiness of the two Daily Mail articles.
Ms. Weiss was apparently well advised because she applied to reaches, matches, and safeties. Like most applicant she didn’t get into her reach schools. She’ll be attending a match. Seems like the standard the CC approach to me.</p>
<p>MommaJ, there is no snottiness here, so let’s not start flinging it. It’s just a realistic view that if you didn’t get the result you wanted, maybe there was something else you could have done. </p>
<p>All the standard advice gets you standard results, and standard results are not getting in. Because parents are not typically advised of anything out of the box and often don’t even get the standard CC advice, why not consider the possibility of more effective counsel? </p>
<p>She admitted that she didn’t really do anything that made her stand out from other applicants. Why is it snotty to say that she might have had better guidance? Just applying to a range of schools doesn’t make you more attractive to the reach schools, but there are things that do. That’s not snotty, that’s reality. </p>
<p>It’s not a criticism of the family for their preparation either. It’s just pointing out that there is more they could have done because top schools don’t just let in everyone who can do the work. They build a class, and that class is going to be filled with unique individuals who think outside the box, do extraordinary things, and essentially challenge each other. There absolutely is a subjective element because they are making judgements about people and choosing between many very competent students, but there are ways to stand out even among the stellar students. </p>
<p>PsychoDad10, I totally agree. And, your son will have the opportunity to enjoy more sleep, better grades, and still have an awesome school on his resume. </p>
<p>Frankly, I encouraged my son to consider the fourth most prestigious school of his ten acceptances. The reason? I didn’t think he had the project management and time management skills to do the work of the very most challenging schools in the world. (That’s why I didn’t allow him to go to the state math and science school in his junior year of high school though they were recruiting him.) He had the credentials, EC’s, personality, and heroics to get into the top colleges. But, he earned those while living at home and having me ride him to stay on schedule. He went to the college where the kids were most like him. He’s easily smart enough to do the work, but the management skills or biting his behind. The school he chose was the most rigorous and one of those I made him apply to for thoroughness. In a weak moment, he asked me why I had to keep him on track in high school so he could get into a school like that. He apologized humorously later, but I’m sure he’s thought it more than once. </p>
<p>I’m glad he’s found his ceiling and has the choice of busting through it or stepping into a different house. But, it’s a tough way to go. I really believe that the top schools are very good at picking students who will thrive or at least survive without too much damage in their schools. Even with my son, he will benefit in life when he really gets his management skills down, so it’s all good. You definitely have the right attitude about your son. </p>
<p>Nobody is entitled to a selective college admission when so many highly qualified people are turned down. If you’re not, it might be a blessing. </p>
<p>I personally wish I knew what I know now several years ago. I did try to teach my son those management skills and talked to several teachers during the time he was in public school, but all they could see was his brilliance and he was used to turning in rough drafts to IB and AP classes and never studying for tests and getting stellar grades. So, he didn’t learn management. Now, I have a client student who is interested in Caltech but afraid to accept for fear of hitting his ceiling. Again, you have the right attitude.</p>
<p>@AlwaysNadventure, please read my post again. I used the term “snottiness” to refer to the Daily Mail articles, not to your suggestion about advice. But given the affluence and sophistication of the family, which had already sent several kids to college, I suspect Ms. Weiss had access to as much advice as she was willing to accept. For all we know she was expertly advised at her elite high school, made her own decisions about what paths to take in academics and EC’s (and by the way, I think being a Senate page is in fact standing out), and applied to a completely appropriate range of schools. </p>
<p>So many people seem up in arms because they think the girl expected to get into an Ivy. I haven’t seen a single thing to suggest any sense of expectation or entitlement on her part or the part of her parents. If anything, her piece acknowledges that merely being a fine student will not guarantee admission to the most selective schools. Sure, she was disappointed and frustrated–as is everyone who doesn’t get into their dream schools (we’ve certainly seen plenty of disappointment and frustration all over CC these days, as well as outrage, bitterness and fury). But that’s not entitlement, that’s just being a kid. And her taking that disappointment and frustration and turning it in to a piece of writing deemed worthy of publication in a national newspaper deserves kudos in my book.</p>
<p>She might’ve “deserved” to have been accepted (whatever that means.) But we should be clear on one thing: while her SAT score is excellent, it’s not going to impress any admissions officer at these schools, especially given that she had access to resources that other higher-achieving kids didn’t have.</p>
<p>I still can’t help but feel that the letter that kicked all this off was whiny and off base and had an air of entitlement.</p>
<p>Telling me its satire doesn’t help either. I feel like its their way of saying “you don’t get it.” I enjoy tons of satire and never have to be told that its satire. The girl failed in her attempt at it and they still don’t see “what more they she could’ve done.”</p>
<p>I understand. I understand the disappointment and frustration and seeing your child as special and unique. Not seeing that your child is up against many equally or more gifted and hard working kids is a blind spot many parents and students have going into elite school admissions process.</p>
<p>I talked with my D a lot about being in the zone. I’d say ‘you have the GPA, the SAT I & II scores, stellar ECs, leadership, recommendations and awards. That puts you in the zone, now what are you going to do to stand out?’</p>
<p>That was a tough conversation with my D who I think is outstanding. To say you are on par with the 30,000 kids going for 1,200 spots now how are you going to wow them is tough. I forced her to think outside the box. She became more human as a result, not a robot racking up academic points on a scoreboard and reached outside of parent paid for ECs and church, school and parent sponsored charities. She began to create things that didn’t exist and reach people that were not being reached by others.</p>
<p>I mention this because I think there are many kids wondering what more they could’ve done. But even more, parents wondering what more they could’ve done. To parents of means, some of you could do less. Money has advantages that can obscure whether its the money doing all the work or a truly gifted student with the passion.</p>
<p>I think this is a good example of a common phenomenon, here on CC and elsewhere: believing that all the good, strong things in your resume will outweigh the weaker ones. This girl’s SAT was a 2120. That’s good, certainly, but it’s not that great for an unhooked candidate. That’s what she would have been told here on CC. Those reach schools can find candidates with achievements like hers, but higher scores. That would probably still be true if they took no URMs, no athletes, and no legacies.</p>
<p>And the father’s remarks also reflect another fallacy that I see quite often here and elsewhere: that college admissions should reward hard work. It does, to a certain extent, but that’s only a part of it.</p>
<p>One thing she has in her favor is that she is in the vast majority seeing how most kids never even apply to these schools and 90% of those that do get rejected.</p>
<p>Some of us must sound like 1 percenters complaining about flat champagne and caviar past its sell by date.</p>
<p>[I just see her letter as a funny way to “blow off steam.”]</p>
<p>Exactly. I’ve written letters to people who have exasperated me (never sent them) just to get it off my chest. A couple I’ve even burned just to be sure they never accidently crop up. It does make me feel better and most are usually kind of amusing (at least to me).</p>
<p>I always saw her letter as satire. I also did’t miss the irony of it being published in the WSJ which takes connections. Even before the entire story came out of who this young lady was, it was clear that she hadn’t been living in podunk with no idea of how elite admissions work, and that she had probably had a leg up on a lot of people. I’m sure she’ll do very well at Michigan (I believe that’s her top choice right now) and I wish her the best of luck.</p>
<p>I’d like to ask her, and her father, “what’s make you more deserving than the other 30,000 applicants who also worked hard in high school?” Oh, and many had better SAT scores, much better SAT scores… While it may have been satire, I detected a large sense of entitlement. It is simply a case of allocating limited resources in terms of seats and applicants.
That being said, there are many ,many very good colleges in this country. For some people, the label of an Ivy League attending child is a status symbol.
As barkk123 wrote, time to get over it and move on…</p>