'It's a crap shoot': Father of girl who wrote scathing letter to Ivy League colleges

Applying to College
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<p>We’ve been over already what bugged some. What confuses me in a not good way is the continued projection (giving her credit for experiences or context she didn’t claim, in order to sympathize.)</p>

<p>She said: in hindsight, I should have worn a headdress. As if this gave some kids an advantage; as if it’s what makes one NA. But it rests on caricature. Cowboys and Indians. To me, it equates to saying should have gotten a darker spray tan. Funny? Only in that way some need a release from “social tensions.” Sure, some minorities have darker skin- is that all one sees? The laugh reveals. Better kept in private company.</p>

<p>Pretty much the same reaction to two moms or proclaiming she’s gay. Why is that funny or satire? Perceptive? Explain it to me. It’s venting but by riffing on misinfo and assumptions. Reveals, I think, how she perceives others, labels them, draws a dividing line. Little hardworking, genuine “me” (with unstated assets beyond that 4.5) versus “them,” with their identities and heritage and pushy parents, fake efforts. </p>

<p>Sally, I think adcoms saw her for what she is- ultra clever. Not what they need. Not always forgivable when it comes across as faulty, immature and full of oneself. TOO self aware.</p>

<p>I don’t see her rant as hypothetical. She wrote it, published it and defended it and herself on TV. She missed a grand and important point: it’s not all about you, Suzy.</p>

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<p>From what I can find, the numbers are soft, but according to the most recent census, less than 1% of households are headed by same-sex parents. So it would be unusual (but maybe not unique within the pool) to be able to talk about being raised by one’s same-sex parents.</p>

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<p>Bay, OK–I see what you are saying. Of course if Suzy had been a bit more clever (lookingforward, I don’t see “ultra-cleverness” in her at all), she could have written the letter in a way that would have come across as more self-reflective and less inflammatory. Instead of “To all the colleges that rejected me,” it could have been “To all the upper-middle-class Jewish kids who came before me and wrecked my chances as a diversity candidate” or “The forgotten fourth child: what happens when your exhausted parents let you fend for yourself in high school” or something else that would have projected less resentment and whininess.</p>

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<p>I find it amusing that the WSJ has used her as a poster child for discimnation against rich kids. Given her SAT scores and lack of compelling EC’s/life experiences, she would not have made it into any of those schools regardless of whether they ever accepted a single URM, legacy, athlete, do-gooder etc. She was simply not a competitive candidate and, given her resources (as well as all of the free resources on the internet like this site), it is frankly amazing she did not realize it and was surprised by her rejections.</p>

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<p>Sally, ultra clever as in smug, self serving. She could have made a great point if she’d told us what she did do. But I can’t shake the feeling that, if she had thrown herself into some worthy efforts, (worthy to college adcoms,) she might have had a satisfaction and maturity that wouldn’t come out this way.</p>

<p>There’s so much we don’t know about her situation. I don’t care that she’s wealthy, Jewish, female or that this is WSJ. We don’t know that had any impact on her app, itself. And I’m still wondering how being beaten in a race by an asthmatic is a bright topic.</p>

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<p>After reading this whole thread, I just want to add that chapped lips in the winter is no laughing matter.</p>

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<p>You know, I rode my son for years to get some ECs to put on his college apps. He told me he was not going to join something or do something just so he could put it on a list. No, he’s not going to a fine, snotty college. But I think I like him better for it…</p>

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<p>I sort of agree that it is indeed a “crapshoot”. I’ve seen some seemingly great students get rejected/waitlisted at schools that are a perfect match for them. However, what she and her family can’t seem to grasp is that there’s a lot that goes into the admissions process. Maybe she wasn’t a good fit for those schools, maybe they really didn’t like her essay, maybe that 4.5 GPA is a very inflated weighted GPA. The thing is, unless you’re in the room when the admissions counselor makes your decision, you can’t completely understand why that school did or didn’t accept you. They claim she’s not entitled, but listing your stats and then saying that you’re shocked you didn’t get accepted based off of those stats is entitlement. It really bugs me when people complain that their stats should have made them a shoo-in for a certain school. There’s no magic formula for a guaranteed acceptance, and once you submit your application, it’s out of your hands.</p>

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<p>I liked that letter, alot. It was amusing and pretty much spot-on. I mean, come on, have you really faced that much discrimination because one of your great-grandparents was Native American? And expecting high school kids to volunteer in Africa, start a charity, etc, is just ridiculous. After a certain point you need a way to differentiate those who all have perfect grades and test scores, I guess, but I can’t help but feel this level of expectation puts unnecessary stress on teenagers. </p>

<p>One part I particularly agreed with was when she called colleges out on their “be yourself” bluff. Complete bull. Like she said, if yourself is a smart, but nonathletic kid who never had some kind of heart-wrenching obstacle to overcome, DO NOT be yourself in your essays. Lie. Make something up. Do it. Just make it sound believable, and don’t straight up fabricate facts that the college could potentially try to verify.</p>

<p>Lastly, I know alot of you complain about “snotty” teenagers who whine about being accepted to nothing but what you view as perfectly fine schools. While you have a point, you have to try to view it from their perspective. After 4 years of working tirelessly with the goal of college in mind, taking those extra AP classes even though they damned you to hours of extra homework per night, studying for countless hours for the SATs, etc, it’s depressing to see yourself end up in the exact same spot as the kid who never took the AP classes, always took the easy way out, and got 400 points lower than you on the SATs. It makes you feel as if all the work you put in throughout high school was a waste (not to mention, if you plan on going to graduate school, going to a less prestigious undergraduate school will probably make that goal a lot more difficult). All things considered, Suzy was right - admissions are a crapshoot. It sucks and it’s not fair, but that’s the way things are.</p>

<p>And before you write this whole thing off as the angry rant of a bitter rejectee, I’d like to state that I was accepted into my first choice school ED, so in no way am I bitter about my own college experience.</p>

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<p>white girls complaining </p>

<p>whats new</p>

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<p>You know, the last thing I expected this thread to produce was an antisemitic rant (form a supposed first-time poster, yet) with a link to a racist, antisemitic, 9/11 conspiracy theory ,whack job website. Numanist’s posts have been reported to the mods and will hopefully be deleted</p>

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<p>I agree with you, Momma. Can someone get rid of this ■■■■■?</p>

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<p>Well, I certainly agree that admissions these days is a crap shoot – and becoming more and more so. It is not just the tippy top, most highly selective schools either. I hear more and more stories about kids getting wait listed and rejected from schools which were not known to be very selective – until now! I still don’t think being gay or being raised by gay parents gives one an edge. However, if the (gay/minority/high achieving, etc.) kid in question was a compelling writer, of course THAT quality might do the trick. But good writers seem to be able to write about practically anything and make it interesting. Just think she was off track there . . . also, the headdress thing . . . I’d forgotten that. That made me feel embarrassed for her. Humor is a tricky thing. Fine lines and all that . . . So, while I agree with some of her supposedly tongue in cheek complaints, I found the tone to be very whiny and entitled sounding. Another writer could have addressed the same issues and said many of the same things, but with more wit and a lighter tone, and I would have had more sympathy.</p>

<p>However, she and her family seem to be enjoying their 15 min. of fame, so kudos to them for that.</p>

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<p>I won’t make sweeping generalizations, claim that I am an expert on the topic, or anything of the sort, but the following are highlights of the facts of my own college search. By all accounts, they would seem to support the “crapshoot” view of (elite) college admissions.</p>

<p>For those of you who will take the time to read this, I would like to qualify what will follow by saying that I am a year removed from the process (high school class of 2012). This is not the belligerent rant of someone in the heat of the process (I assure you if I wrote this a year ago it would be much different), but the reflection of someone who is removed from the situation.</p>

<p>I graduated 1st (and was named Valedictorian) in a class of just under 500 students, 32 ACT, 780 Math II, 760 Chemistry, and took the maximum possible number of AP tests for my school (9) with scores of 5 on all but one (APUSH – 4). I captained one varsity sport (volleyball), played another (rugby), and was captain of a community soccer team (the same team I had played on since Jr. High). I had several hundred hours of community service as a mentor for an organization that promotes leadership in underprivileged and at risk high school students, served on the district’s Board of Trustees (alongside the Superintendent, Asst. Super, and five elected Trustees), was Vice Chair of my campus’ School Site Council (the only student to hold the position since the school was opened), and a member of ASB. I was named to Homecoming Court and voted “Most Spirited” by my graduating class. I had stellar letters of recommendation from teachers, counsellors, and the principal. </p>

<p>Despite this, I managed to find myself on the wrong end of decisions (either outright rejections or fruitless wait-list spots) from all of the Ivies, MIT, CalTech, etc. All of the truly elite universities to which I applied had no space for me. I could have attended either Notre Dame or USC, but not with the lucrative scholarships that had originally enticed me to apply to these schools. I accepted a partial academic scholarship to a UC campus (my backup school) where I happily study today. </p>

<p>So, was my college application experience an example of the “crapshoot” that it is becoming? You be the judge. If you think I’m bitter or expected more (by applying to these elite schools) than I deserved, then you are entitled to your opinion and I respect your right to feel that way – I have thought of many things I could have done better, and questioned myself and whether I had a right to expect to be competitive at these schools. </p>

<p>If you find yourself in a similar position to mine, then I have a piece of advice for you. Originally, I felt defeated. I felt like I had been cheated. The schools that people assured me I was destined to choose between, those which counsellors held in front of my nose for years, didn’t even think twice as they passed over my application. Did I let it stop me? No; I used it to fuel me. I knew deep down that I had been slighted, and I set out to put together an undergraduate record so impressive that no graduate program could give my application anything less than serious consideration when the time came, and I am well on track to do this. You don’t care about the specifics, and I don’t care to bore anyone with them. The point is, the fight isn’t over. If you were slighted by the system, then prove it – not with grandiose gestures and scathing letters but with grit and hard work. </p>

<p>And, to anyone who has read this far, a final note to students who are afraid of subjecting themselves to this “crapshoot”. My one true regret, the one thing I sincerely wish I could change about my applications, was the collective body of work that was my essays. I am not ashamed of my writing; I was quite proud of the work I did. However, in retrospect, I realize that I was so worried about being “acceptable” that I subjected my essays to reviewer after reviewer. I can think of times where I was convinced that striking a section, one of which I was proud or found witty, would be beneficial for the essay and my application as a whole. My regret, in all honesty, is that I too often heeded this advice. I do not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that revisions are unnecessary; quite the opposite. My point is, your essays should be yours, and they should reflect what you want them to reflect – good, bad, ugly or otherwise. They are a reflection of you. Make sure they have personality. A bad essay with personality is better than a technically and stylistically beautiful essay that says nothing. I’m worried that, more often than not, I turned in ones closer to the latter than the former. Strive for individualism and personality. Show them that you’re weird…</p>

<p>The one way to escape the crapshoot is to stand out, and the essays are your best chance to do this.</p>

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<p>ConnorR15 - excellent post. You are very mature.</p>

<p>Your advice is right on the money. The essays can really separate candidates and too often they are the least focused on, especially when students are applying to a record number of schools. My D was told by her English teacher not to write her essay but she did it anyway, because it was what SHE wanted to write about. It was a reflection of her. They essay was mentioned in several acceptance letters. She had friends with identical credentials (or better) get rejected because they either did not take any time with the essays or wrote cookie cutter essays. It is the ONLY chance to show who you REALLY are other than a bunch of accomplishments and achievements.</p>

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<p>In the end, one never knows what may have been the factors. Sometimes, it’s as simple as the volume of kids applying from a particular area. Or for that major.
Connor, sounds like you did as much “right” as you could. You can be proud of the contributions you made. In many ways, they are the mark of a young adult. Your determination to make the most of your college years is commendable. </p>

<p>Many talk about not racking up activities and accomplishments "just " for the college apps. But I think they miss the point that you can take on “good” because it’s the right thing to do. We all have untapped energy and more room in our hearts. It’s not about paying big bucks to go hold orphan babies. Often it’s about which kids will roll up their sleeves for something less glossy, not the one-time shot but the continued efforts at home, mentoring and leading, having.even small impact. Connor shows us this isn’t about stomping our little foot. </p>

<p>Best wishes, Connor.</p>

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<p>@Connor</p>

<p>Good post.</p>

<p>I know it feels like a crap shoot but its not accurate to say it is.</p>

<p>All the kids that get accepted are very bright, talented, gifted, stellar students. All of them.</p>

<p>Many, if not most of the students that get rejected or waitlisted are also hardworking, outstanding students.</p>

<p>That’s what makes it not a crapshoot. All the years of hard work, natural talent and high achievement are not accidental or coincidental in any way.</p>

<p>Now when you take a pool of 30,000 of those kids in a single pool from which 1500 will be selected, it becomes more of a crapshoot. But that’s only because it comes down to the fine details to pick one over another.</p>

<p>I’ve had to hire people, never did admissions, and I’ve had times I wish I had 10 spots instead of one because of all the excellent people. It’s hard but its not exactly a crapshoot.</p>

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<p>She is what she is, a self admitted “underachieving selfish teenager”. Why in the world is it a surprise she was rejected? At least those kids who started “fake charities”, even if we ascribe the worst of motives to them, took some initiative to do something to increase their chances of admission to the most competitive schools. </p>

<p>My DD, although middle of the pack academically, was accepted to all her reach schools because she is, in the words of her college counselor, “an agent for change”. She is not selfish or lazy and it shows in her non-academic achievements and her leadership. She had the internal motivation to do those things. That’s what those schools are looking for. Somebody that can take their gifts and do something with them that makes a difference. Not selfish, emotionally immature, over privileged kids, which is exactly what Suzy comes across as. There are no “secrets” to achievement. Get out there, bust your backside, and make the world a better place.</p>

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<p>@Connor

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<p>Wow. You’re entire post was so true, but this was the part I found most meaningful of all, to be honest. Particularly that first part - that’s the attitude I was preparing for myself in case I was rejected from my reach schools (which honestly, I expected, because aside from my grades I didn’t really have anything going for me). </p>

<p>On the topic of essays, I sort of agree with you. Earlier in this thread I said that their “be yourself” advice was a lie, and while that may have been a bit extreme, I still stick to that to a degree. I’ll amend that advice to this- be yourself in a way you think the admissions people will like. You have many parts to yourself - pick one that you don’t think is over-represented in the pool of applicants. So don’t straight up write what you think they want to hear, but write something about yourself that sets you apart. So if you are an intelligent student who played a sport they weren’t good at or didn’t enjoy just to have something to put on an application (in other words, me), don’t write about your academics or your sports - this may be truthful, but trust me, that’s not what they want to read about.</p>

<p>As I found my application overall fairly bland, I am forced to conclude that my acceptance was due in large part to my essay. What I wrote about, while perhaps not the most significant aspect of my character, was something I considered unique about myself and that involved linking myself to a field I knew colleges were looking to increase interest in. I used what some might call unorthodox imagery, word choice, and figurative language - it was a risk, but I think it showed part of my character that helped my essay to stand out a bit. </p>

<p>Basically, don’t listen to those telling you to write just what you think the college wants to hear, but also don’t listen to those who tell you just to “be yourself”. There is a happy medium. Write something truthful about yourself, but make sure it’s something you think colleges will be interested by. And use figurative language, particularly in a way that helps demonstrate your passion for whatever it is you’re writing about.</p>

<p>On a side note, you might not want to listen to those who say not to apply ED unless it’s your top choice. My top choice was MIT, but I didn’t think I had a very good shot of getting into any school I really wanted to attend, much less MIT, so I picked the one I thought I had the biggest chance of getting into ED in order to maximize my chances of getting into any one of these schools overall (yes, I’m one of those people who would calculate the probabilities before deciding). If you’re willing to go all-or-nothing, then hell, apply ED to your top choice even if you don’t think you’ll get in, but if you want to play it safe(r), there’s nothing wrong with that either.</p>

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<p>I doubt many serious candidates for the top schools don’t focus a TON of time on their essays. I think it’s fairly superfical to judge someone by a 300-500 word essay and a few short response questions in any case. The fact is there are just way to many highly qualified students trying for a small number of spots. A clever, whitty, off-beat, genuine, etc. essay can as easily help a candidates chances as destroy them - it depends on the quirks of the specific reader you get and they don’t all like the same things. In the end, it is a crap shoot and probably has to be given the numbers of applicants involved.</p>

<p>My question is while people can’t move beyond the Ivy league rat race? There are many great schools out there but the Ivy “allure” makes it seem like they are not as “good.” Is there a way to start breaking the hold the “Ivies” have on people’s minds??? It seems like a collective madness.</p>