<p>This past weekend was prom for all of the high schools in our area. I’ve spent so much time the last few weeks thinking about where DS#2 was a year ago. He was a junior in high school. His grades had plummeted. He’d had several extended crying jags. They were so painful to watch. After each one I’d ask him if he thought he should go talk to someone, and he always said no. We couldn’t imagine a next step for him other than community college, if that.</p>
<p>Last year on prom night, he came home around 11:30 and burst into tears. I never did find out what happened, but this time after I asked him the same question he finally said yes. He met with a therapist several times and then DH and I met with him. The first words out of his mouth were, “Your son is deeply depressed.”</p>
<p>Here we are a year later. He moved to a private school and is repeating his junior year. He’s been seeing the therapist weekly and has been on anti-depressants since September. His grades are back up to where they used to be. We’re planning several trips this summer to look at colleges. He talks about what he’d like to study, and about graduate school. He is a lighter, happier boy who smiles and laughs often.</p>
<p>I am so proud of him.</p>
<p>It was something about prom–I so wanted this year to be different, because it really was the beginning of the diagnosis a year ago. This year, prom was just. . . fun.</p>
<p>I’m not sure why I’m writing, except that I have always found such sympathetic ears here. I also want to caution parents. I have some experience with adult depression but honestly did not recognize it in my own son. Yes he was sad, and yes his grades had fallen, but he kept on going to school, playing on his sports teams, marshaling on. In hindsight I think he did remarkably well considering how he must have been feeling.</p>
<p>It’s a lovely spring day in my part of the country and the future for my son looks so much brighter. It’s been a good year.</p>
<p>I am so very happy for you. This post touched me deeply. I have a dear friend who is going through some rough times with her child…may her year turn out as well.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking about posting all week, but also had thoughts of “Who really wants to hear this?” I just couldn’t seem to let it go, though, so decided to go ahead. I must say it was emotional for me just typing the words. I do think there is some experience to share. DH and I spent quite a bit of time asking ourselves why we didn’t pick up on this sooner. I think DS had been dealing with depression for several years.</p>
<p>I particularly appreciate CCers who post follow-up stories–after the big college decision, after college graduation, after some sort of crisis. I liked the thread on the great student who chose a Tier 3 LAC. So much of CC is devoted to high school/early college years. I wish more would hang around and let us know how all of those decisions worked out. (I’m hoping someday there’s a grandparents forum. This is such a great community.)</p>
<p>Thanks for posting. Parents and kids need to see that there are poitive outcomes after facing tough circumstances. Not everything ends in tragedy. There is hope. I pray that your son continues moving forward with his life in a wonderful and exciting way!</p>
<p>My D shared just this week about her roomate who is just realizing she may have depression. They all got together and had a heart to heart about her going to see a doctor. She wants to wait until the summer to see someone closer to home, but it doesn’t sound as though she should wait. It’s such a tough time for them to have to have these issues, when they are heading to or away at college. But it seems to also be the age where mental issues rear up.
I just posted today about my daughter’s experience at school two weeks before she graduates, and someone was very thankful that I came back to do that. There is a light at the end of every tunnel & I’m glad I revisited as well MyLB.</p>
<p>I can imagine - it was emotional for me to read. What a lovely post. Thank you. If just one parent reads it and recognizes that their child may in fact be depressed, you have done a wonderful thing.</p>
<p>Glad things are so much improved. While the prom may have been the trigger or final straw, usually there are signs and symptoms (grades dropping, loss of interest in activities, change in temperament, sleep/appetite/energy changes, etc) ongoing for at least 3 mos that are indicators of the diagnosis of a depresion. So glad he got the treatment he needed!! Congrats on a happier springtime this year!</p>
<p>Of course there were signs. We just weren’t reading them. DH and I have tried not to castigate ourselves too badly for not thinking of this sooner (and, really, not insisting he go talk to a therapist earlier).</p>
<p>I read shortly after the diagnosis that one of the differences in the way depression manifests in teenagers is that they can still have good days/get excited about some things. It just tends to be very short-lived. Depression in adults seems so constant/pervasive.</p>
<p>And I think it’s also difficult to distinguish depression from regular teenage. . . stuff. This is a tough time for our children, with attendant ups and downs, “crises” that are really minor blips in the grand scheme of things. And this is my child who is by nature so quiet and reserved. Very much a middle child who has not demanded enough from the world around him. I believe it was extraordinarily difficult for him to agree to get help.</p>