<p>OK, to get started, I’m not like a social misfit or anything. I actually have really good social skills, and people usually genuinely like me. The problem is that I get tired of socializing very quickly. The activity is so physically draining for me, because I am very insecure and always worrying about what other people think. Eventually, I just fall back into the woodwork and hole myself up in my room or gravitate towards complete misfits/outcasts, because I know they don’t judge as much. </p>
<p>I know most of you are just going to say, “Well, you just have to get out there”, but believe me, I try, and it is just a really uncomfortable experience. Have any of you guys overcome a similar problem? I want to enjoy hanging out with people and just have fun, but my guard is always up.</p>
<p>i’d say just express all u want. what’s people to u?? they’re going to soon or later die and their opinions of no significance. everything is meaningless!!! see? from ecclesiastes…seriously, people won’t even remember whether u tripped or spilled something or avoided eye-contact or seldom laughed…u might say people will then avoid ur company…but see?..there will always be people with whom u will fit in. so…do u want to spend ur life pretending with a group of friends that u do not fit in…or do u want to “be urself” among ur true meant-to-be freinds?</p>
<p>no, but hang out w/ who u want to. ( people with the same interests as you, maybe). i don’t hang out w/ “everyone” i don’t “get out there”. i am very selective with my friends. i’d rather have 5 good ones, than 100 bad ones. talk to people in your classes, in clubs of interest, or in the college dining halls.</p>
<p>I know you don’t want to hear this, but the only way to truly come out of your shell is by leaving the comfort zone.</p>
<p>wrong wrong!! to leave the comfort zone and to go where??? to no significant ends!! that’s where u’re headed. the number one reason why people have trouble with their lives is because they force on themselves difficult situations…instead of staying in the “comfort zone” and nurturing what they are good at…if its sports, give ur 100 per cent and give not a cent to what others think about u…if it’s studying, lock up urself in ur room and read and think for weeks without eating or drinking or shaving or washing or giving mind to the incessant knockings on ur door by ur friend or parent…</p>
<p>and i assure u…u will achieve something…rather than going out of the comfort zone and failing (which is likely: and if u do succeed, it will be a everlasting burden and stress to u)…anyway, the social thing will come to u naturally after u’ve achieved something…people will know ur TRUE self and treat u as u truly should be treated according to ur interests (expressed in ur achievments)… come now!! this is gotta be the best advise i gave on this forum. charizard needs to read this</p>
<p>“The activity is so physically draining for me, because I am very insecure and always worrying about what other people think”</p>
<p>stop being so insecure…now pay me $10 for solving your problem</p>
<p>install world of warcraft and join a guild.</p>
<p>the only places where it paid to obsess over what others thought were communist dictatorships where they monitored everything you said/did</p>
<p>Are you in college because college will make you thick skin because you begin to realize that not everyone likes you! I mean heck I’ve had someone sent me a hate message, but you know what I look at it this way for one person that dislikes me that’s 5-10 pplz that loves me ;)!</p>
<p>Good point, namaste…:P. It’s kind of a subconscious thing, though. Oh, well.</p>
<p>no wonder you don’t like social situations “hardtoimpress” sounds like you’re pretty jaded judging by the screename…heh</p>
<p>Hah. It’s just the name of a song, not like a statement about my personality or anything. I’m pretty easily amused actually. It’s everybody else that’s the problem…</p>
<p>HTI
“The problem is that I get tired of socializing very quickly. The activity is so physically draining for me”
That statement tells me that you are an introvert, and will probably always be one. The hallmark of an introvert is the need to get away from people in order to “recharge their internal batteries”, whereas extroverts recharge their batteries by being around people. Please do some reading on the differences between introverts and extroverts, and stop beating yourself up. What you feel is perfectly normal.</p>
<p>I don’t desire to ever constantly want to be around other people. I will always take plenty of time to “recharge”. But I’d like to enjoy company every now and then. No book about the differences between introverts and extroverts would say introverts aren’t allowed to have fun with others sometimes.</p>
<p>go ahead and get off of CC and just relax, be yourself and people will appreciate u, ironically if u take my advice, u will never see it</p>
<p>Don’t pay any attention to that sauron dude’s advice (he doesn’t know what he is talking about sometimes :p…plus its bad advice) or about playing warcraft (horrible idea)… But be my guest if you wish to listen to them</p>
<p>Anyway, listen to that Armando who said get “out of your comfort zone,” which is a great idea and CricketStud. Life is about taking risks and chances if you just stay at home and getting comfortable…then you just be a coward and never ever change. Plus IF I stayed at my comfort zone…I would never meet all of my great friends and pretty girls and parties. Plus I learn alot of stuff about life by taking risks</p>
<p>So get out more and you will get used to it. Oh yeah about being insecure. Just remember that you got something to offer to the conversion or group of ppl (either be your personality or talents). The toughest critic is you and just have confident in yourself. Once you learn to “love” yourself, then other ppl will see what a great person you are. You said it yourself that you have great social skills so just use them. Socializing shouldn’t be draining you physically maybe…you are just having boring conversion. Just go parties ad meet some new ppl. You will find tons of ppl with the same interest.</p>
<p>Hoped i Help and Gl .</p>
<p>well, if it helps, i am an extrovert but i can identify. my problem was that my new college friendships were based on quick and transient interactions or that there was a clique of a few people and if i “joined” i would have to conform and spend all my time with them, etc. i got used to liking my alone time more than any other time. but i think what we have to do in the end is to keep trying to make those quick relationships more meaningful. try to make connections with people who seem worthwhile. throw yourself into your interests that can bring you extracurricular friendships (and hope that they become deeper). that’s what i am doing, and it seems to work. good luck.</p>