I've come to the conclusion that Virginia is better than my home state in everything.

Parent Cafe
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<p>So, I want to move here, permanently. Set up Virginia as a domicile and stuff, and not just for the in-state tuition costs – that’s just a side bonus.</p>

<p>Is this a normal phase for an out-of-state student? I’m just curious.</p>

<p>Everyone told me last week how they were so excited and pumped to be going home for Reading Days, and my excuse for not going back was, “oh no – it’s too expensive to go all the way back up to Maine for just a couple of days.” This excuse starts to fail though, as I get further questioned:
“Yeah – I know what you mean! But do you plan to go home for Thanksgiving.”
“No, not really … I don’t have that many extended relatives back home…”
“Christmas, then.”
“Well … probably not.”
“Spring break?”
“I don’t think so.”</p>

<p>I haven’t tested the reaction of my friends by telling them I would rather not go back home after the school year ends if I could. I have, “I plan to take summer courses” as an excuse (because I do want to get those physics and bio labs in – and my calc III class). In fact, I do NOT want to go back to Maine ever. I don’t ever want to fly back, except as a tourist. I don’t see myself ever getting homesick. </p>

<p>But for the life of me I can’t see why my peers would get homesick … school life is heaven compared to back home. Even the time when I had to sleep in the library to finish my chemistry problem sets! What would I go back home for in the summer? To go back into a cramped apartment in an industrial town where public transport is non-existent and where everything is so colourless, so cold? To go back to a near-minimum-wage job in foodservice again? In my school’s catering position ($9.75/hr! + free gourmet food), you get respected for your hard work. In my state, it seems, everyone takes your labours for granted.</p>

<p>Virginia seems more intellectual and less shallow. Maine as north as it is actually seems more redneck’ish than Virginia. If it isn’t the lifelessness of an industrial town, it’s the snobby elitism of the yuppie town next door. Last year, I never envisioned falling in love with a southern state, but Virginia is more multicultural, more multilingual. The Asian cuisine is actually good (and quite genuine!), and better yet, not a ripoff AND you get live bluegrass festivals. It’s so common to hear multiple languages here … and English dialects originating from all over the country abound. In my home state, I only get the cold haughtiness of Cape Elizabeth people.</p>

<p>Virginia is for lovers. Damn right. Now, I get told by friends that apparently the cost of living is high or something – but really? It has so come to pass that I know more about the housing market in Virginia (at least near Charlottesville) than even my home town, but here housing starts from $400-$500 a month while my mother currently rents out a two-bedroom apartment (+ living room + kitchen, etc.) for nearly $1000 / month in Maine.</p>

<p>Is it common NOT to miss home? It’s not that I don’t love my family, but I don’t EVER want to go back again, even for a day, as a resident. The only issue is that my mother now has an established (and at least worthwhile) position, while my sister is in her last year of high school. Is this a common phase? Am I just in my first (romantic) stage of culture shock?</p>

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<p>You’re from Maine, I think you’ll find that many states are better than Maine.</p>

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<p>It did well in the child-rearing rankings when my parents first arrived though.</p>

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<p>Maybe you just hated your life during your pre-college years. Sounds like you would have hated that time frame no matter where you lived. It may not be Virginia that you’re in love with but the newness of being away from your past.</p>

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<p>^ just have to chime in, I left upstate New York for college in Richmond, Va., fell in love with the state from my first second there, and never wanted to leave. Went home to Syracuse for summer break, stayed there less than a week, then moved back down to Virginia. It has to be one of the best places to live in the country.</p>

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<p>I didn’t hate it per se. Singapore was pretty nice while it lasted, for example. In some ways. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve come to dislike New England towns (having grown up half my life in two of them).</p>

<p>I’m not sure if the income factor is partially responsible either. Would other students who applied by fee waiver (as one measure) be also less likely to feel homesick? </p>

<p>I love my school! I have that youthful urge to see the world of course, but I wonder if it’s just newcomer-romanticism that makes me perfectly okay with settling down around here. I didn’t understand why all the other first-years were so pumped to return home!</p>

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<p>From what I have seen of Virginia, the states varies dramatically depending on the region. For example, Northern Virginia is completely different from Southwest Virginia.</p>

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<p>Galosien, may I infer from your post that things are working out well and you are happy at school?</p>

<p>I very much hope so!</p>

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<p>"In fact, I do NOT want to go back to Maine ever. I don’t ever want to fly back, except as a tourist. I don’t see myself ever getting homesick. </p>

<p>But for the life of me I can’t see why my peers would get homesick … school life is heaven compared to back home. Even the time when I had to sleep in the library to finish my chemistry problem sets! What would I go back home for in the summer?"</p>

<p>To see your family, perhaps? Presumably you don’t have close relationships with your family? (I don’t know your backstory) Perhaps you have good reasons for not having close relationships with your family, but it’s not that hard of a stretch to understand that some of your peers might get homesick because they had good relationships with their families and miss their old haunts.</p>

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<p>Yeah, I lived in Virginia for about two years when I was 4, and I still like it more than my home state (Massachusetts). I think it has something to do with warmth.</p>

<p>Also, I don’t really get homesick either, but then again, I’m going to school 30 minutes from home.</p>

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<p>Hmm, old memories. Left the Northeast to work in Virginia – HUGE improvement. Left Virginia to work in the Bay Area – and even BIGGER improvement. Just a word to the (young and) wise.</p>

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<p>I actually think it happens a lot. I moved to Southern California from my small town in Central California and never moved back. I of course visit family, but everyone I know from my hometown who left for college never moved back.</p>

<p>A ton of people I went to College with also never returned to their hometowns/states but stayed in SoCal. It just seems natural to stay. The people who did move, only did so for grad school.</p>

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<p>I’m pretty close to my family … it’s just now that the thought of even living there again makes me so nauseous that I’d rather fly my family over to visit (on my own wages!) each year rather than fly back myself.</p>

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<p>How much of Virginia have you actually been to (and even better, lived in)? Don’t think the whole state is like Charlottesville, because it’s not!</p>

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<p>It might not be that Virginia is that great… it may be that life at COLLEGE is that great.</p>

<p>Not meant as a “dis” to the wonderful state of Virginia… frankly I’d prefer Virginia to Maine any day, too, but much of what you describe as being better in Virginia may just be better at your college.</p>

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<p>Well I’ve been to Richmond, Williamsburg and various other places we got lost (and ate) at. I haven’t actually been to Nova, except for passing through.</p>

<p>But even the trees and forests are better.</p>

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<p>I agree with those who say it’s probably college that’s swaying your opinion. Are you a freshman? It’s actually pretty common - there are tons of students who feel the same way, from all over the country. I went to college only 2 1/2 hours away from home, and couldn’t wait to get back at the end of each break.</p>

<p>Why not look for study, work or internship opportunities that could keep you in VA over the summer? Just make sure you would enjoy yourself as much if you removed your college friends from the picture, since most of them will probably be home.</p>

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<p>You are clearly comparing life as a college student on a gorgeous campus to life as a high school student who–according to what you have said here–found themselves in reduced circumstances in a less-than-congenial town; moreover, a town that is atypically urban for the state of Maine, and less attractive than the neighboring town in which you could no longer live due to changed financial circumstances. (You say you resented no longer being able to live in Cape Elizabeth.) </p>

<p>To condemn the entire state of Maine–a state that many find quite idyllic–because you didn’t like living in an apartment and attending an uncongenial high school is rather short-sighted. It is also short-sighted to plan to abandon your mother because U Va has a pretty campus and the Asian food is good.</p>

<p>Frankly, I wonder if you have ever been to most of the spectacularly beautiful lakes, mountains, and coastal areas of Maine, or even begun to plumb what the state has to offer.</p>

<p>I would certainly agree that the job situation here could be significantly improved. Finding a way to make a living and stay here is a problem for many.</p>

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<p>But can’t I enjoy that same natural beauty in Virginia? Overlooking cuisine, language and ethnicity, even the forests have more diversity. In Maine the trees are skinny, dreary, unclimbable and feed off of nutrient-poor soil, and the way the bark peels off the trees is so ugly, even in Cape Elizabeth. The towns are so cold and lifeless! I can’t stand Maine’s economic policy either … the rich can afford to make a big fuss about conservation and forestalling development, as long as it’s not in THEIR backyard, but meanwhile you know where all the pollution from the natural resource industries is going…</p>

<p>I didn’t dislike Maine to the extreme – I found it quite amiable and at least tolerable while I lived there – I regularly walked to Fort Williams at night to stargaze and enjoy eating pasta on the shore with the night wind in my face and the city lights in the distance, for example. But I feel I could replicate all that and more in Virginia. Heck, the Appalachian Trail is more celebrated in Virginia than Maine.</p>

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<p>LOL. I am from a small town in Va. and was so happy to leave it for the big city (in another state) where I went to school!</p>

<p>But I understand completely how college in a better climate/town/whatever can be so much more fun than living with your parents in a poky, ugly, small town with lousy weather. :D</p>

<p>And I love most of Va…but where I was from, not so much.</p>