I like to dispel that myth, at least for Princeton. My son was in a popular eating club and the cost wasn’t noticeably different than the cost of a regular dining plan. Plus, Princeton will adjust its financial aid to cover any additional costs of an eating club.
Just by way of comparison, 220 isn’t far off the overall school averages at most of the Ivies, e.g. I come up with 224 for Brown based on 50th percentile test scores and assuming a weighted GPA of 4.3 and unweighted of 3.9.
At HYP the overall school average is more like 230 using the same GPA assumptions and 50th percentile test scores.
So I think 220 would be pretty strong academics for an athletic recruit.
At Harvard, food is included in room and board and there are no meal plans to choose from - same price no matter how much you eat.
We have twice been in a similar spot as the OP also (although no experience with W&M) - waiting for 1st July with Ivies vs verbal commit to strong academic school with significant $ scholarship. Both times, child chose to wait it out for Ivy process. As already mentioned in this thread, the idea of being in an environment of high achieving, passionate peers was enticing, but even more so, both of my athletes liked the idea of being on a team where every team member was participating due to their voluntary commitment to the sport. As in, no one is being “paid” to show up, train for endless hours, and compete. At unofficial visits, and then during OVs, they both really felt a difference in the team dynamic between $ scholarship teams and Ivy teams. This is just their opinion - just their own experiences I am speaking of. As much as it would have been great to have had the scholarship $, and it would have made a significant difference to us, neither one of them would change a thing in their ultimate choice. One is still competing for an Ivy, the other competed for 4 years and has since graduated. Networking will happen wherever one goes to school, and all of the benefits that that brings, but, just speaking to our experience, the Ivy networking has been really impressive. Also, since July is still a few months away, I would suggest that your daughter reach out to every Ivy team she might be interested in joining. Once July comes, it is fast and furious until October/November - even into January, with some Ivy recruits not getting through admissions for the LL. You may be surprised in who else reaches out to her over the summer in the Ivy league, when more than just Yale knows that she has not yet committed. No easy answers I know, and there is always some risk involved. But she is clearly skilled at her sport, and with a good AI, she stands a good shot for summer recruiting, in my opinion.
But must also say that our one child who did not go Ivy and is competing at a top D1 with significant scholarship $ (phew!) is having a good experience! But does agree with siblings on the difference of team dynamic - again, just personal opinions of 3 athletes.