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<p>Oh, I didn’t know! Very cool. We could start a new thread group on this site called “Ask the expert” and start with you. 
Of course, some of us don’t have such interesting careers.</p>
<p>Consolation has a gorgeous website which I have bookmarked if I ever have a need to send exquisite chocolates!</p>
<p>We had a shower for niece and had cheese fondue and chocolate fountain–two of expectant mom’s favorites. We kept it sanitary and all had a great time. It seems tacky to charge for coffee or tea at a catered event, even tho I don’t drink either. I’d find it highly unusual. Have never experienced this in my lifetime. </p>
<p>There is a significant price difference between coffee/tea and alcohol. Most places charge a set at rate per person for water, coffee, tea and sometimes iced tea (often about $5/person or less). The charge for an open bar is generally several times that and can be without a ceiling. It can end up costing significantly more than the food. I can see specialty coffee drinks costing significantly more but have not been to any events where anyone attempted to order one.</p>
<p>Many years ago, about 12 of us from grad school rented a van and went to one of our classmates’ weddings at a fancy, pricey, nicest suburb in town most selective golf club. The very small guest list wedding broke the record for cost (apparently a per drink bill) at the open bar. We were proud; the father of the bride still talks about it according to the classmate, his still SIL!</p>
<p>So much judgment on this thread … keep it coming! I’m highly amused. And guilty of a couple of the horrible faux pas listed on this thread. :D</p>
<p>* that’s pretty much what I am saying - for there not to be booze at a party, they would not be close friends or relatives so I would opt out.*</p>
<p>So all your close friends and relatives have similar vices?
No one with strong religious or health beliefs that exclude alcohol?</p>
<p>My family of origin on either side didn’t drink alcohol, except at Christmas, grandpa had brandy in his eggnog & when my parents hosted a new years party ( at most there were three or four couple), they might have beer & champagne. ( my dad was the only one in his family that I ever saw drink alcohol, and I think that was so he could show off his hand blown pilsner glasses)
But at family gatherings, it was always water with meals, milk for children and coffee afterwards.</p>
<p>I realize that for those who use the cocktail hour to hammer out business deals, abstaining can be a liability. But is succumbing to peer pressure really necessary to do business?</p>
<p>Not using substances really isnt that odd, yet I see more pressure on people to partake of something that they arent interested in : drinks, desserts, meats, than I do people encouraging others to slow down their consumption.
I dont understand why that is.</p>
<p>I drink alcohol now, I try to drink a small glass of wine every day or so in an attempt to lower my cholesterol & I often have a drink when we go out to a restaurant, but if I was given a choice between attending a wedding where everyone was drinking or where everyone was a teetotaler, I would chose the * not drinking*.
Not every one is as witty and charming as they think they are when they drink. :p</p>
<p>Im wondering how much this is connected to religion.
My grandparents and most of their relatives on both sides were Presbyterian-a Christian denomination. My parents were Unitarian, Hs parents are Lutheran ( they drink) and my sisters family is LDS ( they don’t drink).</p>
<p>Do religions that use alcohol in rituals, find it important in their everyday life as well?
I know Muslims and Sikhs dont generally drink, what Christian churches dont allow alcohol?</p>
<p>Southern Baptists. </p>
<p>[Baptist</a> Press - Poll: Southern Baptists say ‘don’t drink’ - News with a Christian Perspective](<a href=“http://www.baptistpress.com/bpnews.asp?id=26564]Baptist”>http://www.baptistpress.com/bpnews.asp?id=26564)</p>
<p>I really have no problems with a cash bar. If you want to drink, spend a few bucks and do so…no biggie. I have been to a few weddings where it is open bar for the first hour, then it turns to cash.</p>
<p>Oh & Methodists too I think. It has only been in the last 15 years that the local college has allowed dancing ( even off campus).</p>
<p>Friends don’t have a strict prohibition about it, but tend towards dryness. (and there is a long and interesting history around it.)</p>
<p>Interestingly enough, Quakers embraced chocolate in the 19th Century as an alternative to alcohol, and that’s how all those Quaker chocolate companies (Cadbury, Rowntree, etc.) came to be.</p>
<p>I admit I can see not having a bar at all rather than expecting one’s guests to pay for booze. I wouldn’t do that at my house, why would I as a hostess, do that elsewhere.
Also, I just prefer a more sedate event than a drunken melee for a wedding celebration. It really does depend on the circles you run in, I suppose. I wouldn’t stay long when/if things started getting a little too out of control.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t offer a cash bar, if I couldn’t afford to pay for alcohol. I see a wedding invitation as similar to inviting someone to my home–I wouldn’t charge guests for alcohol.That being said, I’m not offended by a cash bar at a wedding–I just wouldn’t do it. If it were a question of cost–I’d invite fewer guests or I simply wouldn’t have alcohol at all. I haven’t seen a cash bar at a wedding in quite a few years. My kids are at the age where lots of their peers are getting married and we’ve been invited to a few of those weddings. Not one of them had a cash bar. I don’t think alcohol is necessary for a celebration. One of the nicest weddings I attended was one held in the garden of a beautiful home with punch and tea sandwiches. The couple were both recovering alcoholics.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have a cash bar at a wedding. If I couldn’t afford an open bar, I’d invite fewer people or have no alcohol. If someone wouldn’t come to my wedding because there was no bar, I’d consider it no great loss</p>
<p>For the “open bar or no bar” crowd: when was thevlat ime ou attended a “no bar” wedding?</p>
<p>Frankly, I don’t really remember. I remember having a cocktail at one wedding, but that’s it. Mostly I remember wine with dinner. (I don’t go to a lot of weddings.)</p>
<p>no bar at all if it is cash?? really??..At the weddings that I’ve been to, those that want to drink have no problem paying for their own booze. Not having alcohol would be a problem for many. Why should the host pay for those that want to ring up a huge bill while most others will just have a drink or 2? The more I think about it, open bar for the first hour, then cash makes a whole lot of sense. Those that want to drink a lot have no right to be “offended”…and from my experience are not. </p>
<p>Those comparing a wedding to hosting guest at your home are way off base IMO…and you certainly don’t invite less people…you should be inviting those that you want to be there anyway.</p>
<p>Parties I’ve attended at homes tend to be maybe 50+ max, while catered parties often run into the 100s. I don’t equate them at all.</p>
<p>Boy, you sure can get a lot of judgmentalism for just asking questions. For the record, and --one more time – I am holding an open bar. okay???</p>
<p>I just see the perspective of someone who can’t afford it offering people who would like a drink an alternative. However, like geeps and Himom, I don’t think a large event is totally equivalent to one’s home. </p>
<p>Sheesh again.</p>
<p>garland, are you so easily offended in real life? We are just having a spirited discussion (no pun intended). It is hard to communicate the proper tone in writing. I don’t see anyone making a big deal out of anything here.</p>
<p>I’m rarely so, Sally. I do see some of the tone here differently. As I get older, I will admit I try to tend toward less absolutes, which often leads me to take the side of what I think is sort of a victim of black and white thinking.</p>