Recently, I’ve been jealous of my roommate for multiple reasons.
She’s a Psychology major, so she has so much free time, and she RARELY does homework or studies, yet she can do well on midterm exams. Meanwhile, I’m studying 24.7 just so I can get a B or an A-… And it’s really frustrating because I always see her just chilling on her phone and able to do her own things. Sometimes, she’ll be out with her friends and boyfriend ALL day, come home and just watch videos on YouTube. I wish I had her free time sometimes.
Another thing I’m jealous about is that she seems to get along well with other people probably because she has more time in the first place to get to go to events and interact with people. People seem to naturally gravitate toward her and enjoy her presence. Not so much with me though because I’m more withdrawn and a little quiet.
The thing is, I shouldn’t care, but I really do. I’m starting to resent her for her supposedly easy and chill SCHOOL life… Whenever she goes to bed around 11 PM and just watches stuff on her phone, Her classes also start much later than mine so she gets to sleep in while I have to get up at around 8 AM every day. I can get extremely agitated with her and not even want to be around her. What can I do to stop being so resentful and jealous? Should I spend less time in the room and study elsewhere? Thanks!
It is silly to be jealous of someone who has a lighter workload because she is on a different path.
Study in the library where others will be working as well.
Find a roommate who works as hard as you do to live with next year.
You didn’t say what your major is but I’m going to assume its something that will land you a good job after college. just picture her working at the Verizon store with her psych degree and student loans! Your hard work will pay off! Hang in there. Yes, you shouldn’t get jealous but its hard. I agree, find a roommate for next year that is a better match.
Some people are just really good at the major they picked.
My girlfriend did Landscape Architecture at UC Berkeley and I remember picking her up from the studio at 12/1AM and when she got back at 8/9AM the next day people had been working all night to do the same projects it had taken her 3-4 hours to do. She was just a natural at it. It’s not her fault, and it would be incredibly unfair for her classmates to be mad at her!
I sense that your jealously towards your roommate has more to do with her laid-back personality and ease around others than just her lack of work. You have qualities she doesn’t have, but because you are working hard and have little free time, this envy is really about your desire to be a different type of person. She might be jealous of one of your qualities, but you are too immersed in your world to think that possible.
I think you need to spend more time hanging around people that are more your type. Spend less time studying in your room. It’s good to have friends wih all kinds of different temperaments, but not if you begin resenting them. I think at some point soon, your relationship with her is going to really deteriorate if you continue to be around her a lot. It’s hard when you live together, but make an effort to cultivate other friends and focus on getting though this semester.
Why is this different than HS? I still have cool memories of kids doing much better than me on tests with minimal efforts. It seemed so unfair that I would study for long periods and still do worse. It all came down to some people being able to absorb the material quicker than others. Some kids run faster. Just a fact of life. Not very fair, but life is not fair.
All you can do is do what you can to achieve the best you can. there will always be someone more popular, faster, prettier, etc.
I can get extremely agitated with her and not even want to be around her. What can I do to stop being so resentful and jealous? Should I spend less time in the room and study elsewhere? Thanks!