<p>How to Pad Your Extracurricular Activities List*</p>
<p>What you did----------------------------What you list:</p>
<p>Worked the deep fryer----------------Acted as sous-chef in popular lunch venue
Bagged groceries---------------------Coordinated order fulfillment
Answered phones---------------------Interfaced with clients
Mowed lawns-------------------------Landscaped for private clients
Made beds--------------------------Arranged accomodations for a hotel
Dug ditches-------------------------Industrial waste facilitator
Waited tables------------------------Managed client relations
Babysat-----------------------------Child development consultant
Folded clothes in department store------------Sales associate in the garment industry
Gas station/convenience store clerk------------Auto mechanic’s assistant
Lifeguard----------------------------------Health and safety supervisor
Washed dishes-------------------------------Inventory manager
Centerfold-----------------------------------Centerfold</p>
<ul>
<li>This is not for real. From “The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: College”</li>
</ul>