<p>they’re building the world’s biggest gym next year and if i go away i won’t be able to enjoy it!?! i guess on the upside a rejection would just mean i get a free condo, gym membership, job, and 5k+/year stipend… </p>
<p>we were scouting locations for our next store, and i’m bored so i figured i’d share. (i’m an assistant manager & resident expert for a sports nutrition/supplements store) <– how nice does that sound for applications?</p>
<p>where does everyone work? and do you work out?</p>
<p>I work out and I work at Papa John’s. Think you could hook me up with some cheap myoplex powder?</p>
<p>if i end up at chicago maybe… but why? EAS has gone downhill ever since it was sold… and it tastes like ass.</p>
<p>I compete in powerlifting and used to work as a biller for a private practice in a hospital.</p>
<p>i lift 5 pound weights with my eyelids twice a week for 15 minutes.</p>
<p>I don’t work out perse, but I play tennis and soccer in the fall and spring. Then during the summer I work as a camp counselor, which believe me, is quite a workout.</p>
<p>sex burns 360 calories per hour</p>
<p>i’ve got a breakdown of that…</p>
<p>It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after “original and proprietary” research the results are in: </p>
<p>REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent…12 Calories
Without her consent…2187 Calories </p>
<p>OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands…8 Calories
With one hand…12 Calories
With your teeth…485 Calories </p>
<p>PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection…6 Calories
Without an erection…3315 Calories </p>
<p>PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris…8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot…4092 Calories </p>
<p>POSITIONS:
Missionary…12 Calories
69 lying down…78 Calories
69 standing up…812 Calories
Wheelbarrow…216 Calories
Doggy Style…326 Calories
Italian chandelier…2912 Calories </p>
<p>ORGASMS:
Real…112 Calories
Fake…1315 Calories </p>
<p>POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging…18
Calories
Getting up immediately…36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately…816 Calories </p>
<p>GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years…36 Calories
30-39 years…80 Calories
40-49 years…124 Calories
50-59 years…1972 Calories
60-69 years…7916 Calories
70 and over…Results are still pending </p>
<p>DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly…32 Calories
In a hurry…98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door…5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door…13,521 Calories</p>
<p>Im guessing you would pass out if you were committing adultery and your wife caught you</p>
<p>nah, that’s cause for a threesome. chloroform what?</p>
<p>That’s hilarious - well…I got a good chuckle out of it anyway…</p>
<p>hmm, instead of working out, we could all just take a little tumble in the hay. and having a baby must burn a lot of calories too, although that might be negated by the fact that you pretty much doubled your body weight while pregnant …</p>
<p>or you can not get pregnant</p>
<p>yea, i thought that was kind of random as well.</p>