<p>Since high school was the better part of a decade ago, I’ll chime in:</p>
<p>Quiet nerd… politically involved & liberal (co-founded school’s Gay/Straight Alliance - got a lot of crap for it, but I didn’t care what other people thought of me), ran track & cross-country, edited lit magazine, did Science Team & French Club and any other EC I could cram in. Almost anti-social at first, although I got to be merely quiet by senior year. Did not fit in at all - never dated, never went to prom, had people (long before GSA) asking me if I was a lesbian because I had never been kissed… I was the kid to pick on, so much so that teachers got involved. </p>
<p>Happily, things changed - esp. the last part!</p>
<p>Band a couple of years, but didn’t fit in as a true band geek. Some sports, but only so-so, never a stand out by any means. Some clubs, but never as the high profile organizer type. Intellectually at the top, but too insecure to do anything with it. A nice group of friends, but I always felt a bit like the odd man (okay, girl) out. Self esteem wasn’t allowed at my house, so there you go. Tall, blonde and intelligent who feared eye contact. I was (and still am to some extent) terrified that someone might notice me. Shoot, I don’t even fall into a high school clique category! </p>
<p>Of course, I married my opposite, the classic BMOC.</p>
<p>That explains why I am very much a cc lurker instead of a poster. But every once in a while I feel the need to try to “overcome”.</p>
<p>Loved your title and post, dogwood. And find myself trying to picture the “terrified to be noticed” on the arm of the BMOC. You must have “overcome” quite a few times. :)</p>
<p>STealing from others’ descriptions: quiet brainy type slash invisible introvert, with a literary magazine layer. Inner politically radical, but too shy to show it then.</p>
<p>Smart girl (for my white rural NC high school), editor of newspaper, into student govt. big reader, hard worker, into vocal music, one of the only ones in my class to go to college out of state. I thought I was pretty brave.</p>
<p>A wall-flower - who didn’t fit into any clique, either. Always wanted to be cool but didn’t know how. Did a few things (yearbook editor, newspaper sports editor) and one questionable sport (badminton). But I never realized how smart I was or how attractive - self-image was definitely not the best.</p>
<p>Mainly known for my incredibly weird laugh.</p>
<p>Here is a shocker: I was the school drunk back in high school. I was informally voted most likely to be in an alley drunk, and even showed up wasted to graduation and didn’t get to walk across the stage. I was somewhat of a practical joker/class clown too.</p>
<p>Nobody (here or anywhere) ever admits they were a bully. I’ve often wondered what became of all the bullies I knew back in school and what they call themselves nowadays when answering this type of question. Do they now say they were shy introverts? Sensitive artists? Counterculture poets?</p>
<p>When I was in school? An awkward mix of nerd, indie kid, jock and loner.
Nerd because I was possibly the biggest maths/physics/computer geek in my year, indie kid because of the way I dressed, my political views and the music I was into, jock because I was really big into martial arts and spent a lot of time training… and loner because I had no really good friends in my year.</p>
<p>I was a choir geek, I guess. I spent before and after school and two periods a day in the choir room all the way through High School. All of my best friends (at the time) were in the choir. No sports! I was always the last one picked for the teams in PE. Plus I was in high school BEFORE there were any significant women’s sports anyway.</p>
<p>I wasn’t a bully or mean girl, but I was a real boy-nerd. I always had as many guy friends as girls. Plus I always had a boyfriend, starting in 5th grade. </p>
<p>In junior high I was a cheerleader, stuco officer, in the in-crowd. That got old. In high school I just kinda hung out and worked. I had to put myself through college and earn all my spending money, so a job was required. I was in the pep club but spent most of my time sneaking out of the bleachers. I was always up for decorating for homecoming (and occasionally involved myself in the creative use of toilet paper). Smart enough to have done much better than I did, but knew my grades were good enough for the school I would be attending. I had drama, jock, cheerleader and valedictorian friends. Lots of fun.</p>
<p>You’ve made me think back to the bullies – and I honestly don’t know what’s happened to most of them. They seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. They don’t show up to reunions, and don’t get mentioned a lot. </p>
<p>But then there were the “mild bullies” – such as the catty girls who never missed an opportunity to make a cutting remark about someone. Or the boys who liked to put bubble gum on the drinking fountain and watch unsuspecting victims (more often than not, me) get soaked. Or snap bra straps. I don’t think they see/saw themselves as bullies, and I don’t think they’ve changed. They still enjoy a laugh at others’ expense, and are quick to label the other person as “too sensitive” or worse. I am pale complexioned, and can’t hide when I am embarrassed or mad, so I was an especially fun target.</p>
<p>And I do NOT use the words “lots of fun” when I think back to HS. I had a nice group of friends, and enjoyed some good times, but I am not one of those who thinks high school was the best years of my life. In fact, I used to be somewhat concerned when people would tell me that, wondering how bad the rest of my life was going to be!</p>
<p>I was a late bloomer – my confidence and independence didn’t show up till young adulthood. I was also - like dogwood - from a family that didn’t believe in self-esteem, compliments, etc. I was told by my mom to quit acting so smart or the boys wouldn’t like me. (I had plenty of boyfriends in HS, and I always wondered why my mom thought I would want a dumb one.)</p>
<p>Too brainy to date, ergo, every guy’s sisterly shoulder-to-cry-on. Debate “jock”–speech team was almost as important as athletics (no team sports for girls anyway in those days). Opinionated (still am) & loved opinionated people of all stripes (still do).</p>
<p>I liked high school but was never comfortable with the tightness of the cliques. I ran with the cheerleader/jock crowd and sometimes the musical/jesus people crowd. Didn’t ever feel secure-was shy around people I didn’t know well. Smart but not intellectual or scholarly. Almost always had a serious boyfriend. The “good kid” in my family and a pretty straight arrow - only drank once or twice, no drugs and no sex. I was a cheerleader in 9th grade (junior high) and was the only one on my squad that didn’t make it the next year. Tried out again as a senior and made the B squad that cheers for all the fun sports only parents and friends attend like wrestling and water polo. </p>
<p>We didn’t have any bullies that I remember but I do remember a few mean girls - in fact my junior high clique had a mean girl- I remember not wanting to miss a sleep-over because I knew I would be talked about. I was relieved to move away from that group.</p>
<p>I think even the seriously malevolent bullies didn’t/don’t think of themselves as bullies. They thought they were being cool. Intimidating other kids and laughing about it was, in certain crowds, a way to enhance your social standing. There were plenty of bullies in my high school.</p>
<p>The closest I’ve seen to anyone admitting to being a bully is the occasional bumper sticker that says: “My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student”. Now there is a dad who is proud of his bully son and no doubt was a bullly too in his day.</p>
Sorry for the hijack folks. Just pass us by. Nothing to see. LOL. </p>
<p>Lighten up a little courer. I think you got this bass ackwards. The bumper stickers I’ve seen say “My kid CAN beat up your honor student”, not that they did do it. But that they had the physical power to do so if they chose . In real life they mutter “and if you or your kid try to rub his nose in &^%$ again he just might”. Can’t there be an academic or IQ bully, also? The kid who makes fun of the slower learners, shows disdain for general math or voca kids, lords his Harvard acceptance over their partial football scholarship to TTT University? Uses phrases common here like TTT, Third Tier Toilets, to describe the colleges that most all bottom 90% kids aspire to? Sure there are.They are on this board constantly. Maybe some of the parents of the kids who have those Honor Roll stickers were academic/IQ bullies, also.</p>
<p>Bullies and braggarts come in all shapes and sizes. I believe that the bumper sticker that caused you to label both father and child a bully ( I’d watch those big jumps) was placed there in direct response to someone else’s bumper sticker that read “My child is an Honor Student at Misanthrope High (and your’s is not)”. Have you ever talked to parents of average kids about those braggart stickers? Well I have. How I wrote it is how they read it. And remember that kid gets to hear about it every day when mom or dad drops him off at school behind a car with one of those stickers. To state the obvious, be a little mindful of the fact that only 10% of the kids can be top 10%. It’s pretty basic Yogi Berra math. I would never put a sticker that said either sentiment on my truck, but if I did put any sticker it would probably be, “My kid doesn’t need me to brag for her. She knows she’s a good kid.”</p>
<p>P.S. What does the family do when little Johnny doesn’t make the honor roll and Little Jane does? Does that sticker say “My Daughter is an Honor Student but her Brother has Study Issues”?</p>
<p>In college my husband and I went to different colleges but went to the same bar in Cambridge. He’d go downstairs (hippies…coffee house) and I’d go upstairs (uber preps…disco dancing …70’s) and we never met there. Fastforward 15 years to NYC where we met . We couldn’t believe that back then we each were “that type”. People sure do change!</p>
<p>i was the quiet kid in class who didn’t shut up outside of class. my boss from during high school knew one of my teachers, and she mentioned to him how friendly i am and how much I talk at work, and he was like are you serious, she never says a word in class.</p>