<p>A nervous private from a National Guard unit was on the way to his first tour of duty in Iraq. Sitting next to him on the transport was a sergeant about to start his fourth tour. Wanting to get back home in one piece but also not wanting to make lethal mistakes when dealing with native Iraqis, the private asked the sergeant, “How do you tell the friendlies from the hostile?”</p>
<p>The sergeant replied, “Take cover and say, ‘al-Zarqawi is an infidel.’ If they fire back, they’re hostile.”</p>
<p>The private nods and files this away.</p>
<p>Three weeks later, the Sergeant is passing through a medical unit to see a friend when he sees the private, all bandaged up and looking terrible. “Son, what in the blazes happened to you?”</p>
<p>The private looked up and said, “I did what you said, Sarge. I was on patrol and saw a suspicious movement in the shadows by a house. I yelled out ‘al-Zarqawi is an infidel!’ The Iraqi in the in the shadows yelled back ‘George Bush is an idiot!’ We were standing in the middle of the street shaking hands when both of us got run over by a Bradley.”</p>
<p>Osama wanted Bush to know he was still up and about so he sent the President a private note…Bush opens it and reads 370H SSV 0773H. He studies if for several hours trying to understand what the coded message means. Finnally Cheney shows up and Bush hands him the note, explaining his confusion. Cheney hands it back and tells the President, “You were reading it upside down!”</p>
<p>A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. “One Marine is better than ten taliban”. The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out “One Marine is better than one hundred taliban”. Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The voice calls out again “One Marine is better than one thousand Taliban”. The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don’t send any more men, its a trap. There’s actually two of them.</p>
<p>… sorry if this was a bash the military thread.</p>