She lives on boarding school campus five hours away from us, 2 to 3 hours each night on home work after sports, Extracurricular activities etc.
Ok 2-3 hours of work for 2 AP classes and a few regular and honors classes. This means that she will likely have to step it up for 6 AP classes… Maybe 5 hours… Maybe more or less… Who knows. Does she have time to work for 5 hours ( maybe more?) each night if that is necessary?
I am still curious to know if she ever appears stressed or anxious?
@sherpa I agree that I don’t stop my kids from these decisions. Mine are shocked when they hear about friends’ parents who do.
FWIW, my d19 will be taking 4 APs. I personally thought it might be more than necessary for her but she talked to lots of students. She has friends in those classes and would rather be with them, enjoying class with them than in other options without them, she talked to older students who have taken the two courses that she had considered going with honors for instead and they said the AP version wasn’t appreciably more difficult (one was easier) than honors anyway, and she feels confident.
Without knowing the actual student, no one here can say they would be more anxious or stressed with more classes.
My older d tends to get more stressed and anxious when less challenged. When she is too busy and immersed in subjects she finds interesting, she tends to be less anxious. When she has too many easy, nonchallenging courses, she has more time to do more than needed and hyperfocus on minor bumps.
OP if your daughter has the ability to take 6 AP classes, do well in them, continue with all of her extra curricular activities and social life ( whatever a social life means to her), sleep, eat, manage stress, and study for the SAT/ACT… Then go for it and take the 6 classes … as long as she can scale back if necessary. It sounds like she wants to do it and will make that decision on her own. I would keep in touch with the school and make sure she is doing ok. Good luck!
Once more… @nynycasino1234
Will the school,allow your kid to,switch to honors from AP after the start of the school year IF this schedule proves to,be too challenging? If yes…then nothing to lose.
If no…then do some thinking. It’s clear that you expect this student to get all A’s regardless of the number or level of these courses. What will happen if she doesn’t?
Who, at the school, will take note of any anxiety issues, staying up half the night to complete classwork, insuffienct time for social and EC things? You won’t be doing that. Your kiddo is 5 1/2 to 6 hour drive away…so this will fall on school personnel.
It sounds like she is a capable kid. But you won’t be monitoring “other” concerns…who will?
My both older daughter reminded me that they took similar 6 AP course load work while in junior grade, while they were at the same prep school, I almost forgot that, old age is no fun.
I think I am getting more nervous as this is the first time I have made $$$$ by investing on both daughters advice and my income has gone up in the process.
I should stop reading too much CC as it makes me more nervous
Once more…who at the school will watch out for signs of stress or anxiety…since you are FAR away and can’t do so?
And also…can she switch to honors classes if this turns out to be too much?
Please don’t compare kids. Make a decision based on THIS kiddo…not on what the other two did.
You know your daughter best. You know her school, how well they know the kids, how your daughter manages stress, whether she has the ability to study every night for 5-6 hours without stressing too much, whether she eats and sleeps in a healthy manner, etc. Nobody can make this decision except for you and your daughter. We are not trying to make you nervous- we are trying to help.
Will the school allow her to scale back to honors level if necessary?
There is a house counselor who advises us who keeps tab of her and has been advising her from last one and half year. We trust her more than us as she has been a turned into a wonderful resource. She did the same thing for our two other daughters. I am not worried as this we have complete trust in advisor.
If she starts out with 6 AP classes and finds it to be stressful, will the school allow her to scale it back?
Thanks everyone. I forgot that why I send my kid to boarding school, just to make sure that she is happy as she chose to go away there. If she comes with lesser grade than A, so be it, I can pay for whatever comes our way. Thanks
They will allow her to drop down in first 2 to 3 weeks
@DadTwoGirls – Yep. My D18 signed up for 4 AP classes next year. I wanted her to cut it to three because she’s really taking one more AP class in the Fall, “AP Admissions”.
With your added input it seems like you should let your D do what she wants to. Especially with a comment from the school that if anyone can do it, it is your D. Sounds like she is gifted (like my son).
There is a huge difference in students who are very bright and work hard to do well and the gifted (which is also a continuum on that Bell curve) who need a lot more to not be bored.
Relax and do not go looking for merit money. I’ll bet she also does great on PSAT, SAT, ACT tests given her past scores. Sometimes the schools offering the most money are the ones trying to up their stats for their student body. She will need to decide which schools to apply to based on best fit, not just potential money offers. I also hope she considers majors that lie within her interests and aptitudes and not just going for a high profile/money making job in finance/business. There are many ways to have a satisfactory adult work life.
There is no one right way to do things. Having a heavy academic load does not necessarily mean a lot of stress- it all depends on the kid and abilities. Some thrive on needing to get things done while others worry.
Glad I read more posts. Sounds like mom was stressed out and our responses hopefully helped. See what happens. Be sure that you are not overly concerned about the making money aspect of life. Many intelligent people have the luxury of enjoying stimulating endeavors without trying to get rich. I went from a shoestring budget to son not needing aid- a good feeling. We know people whose kids chose the finance world but it is not for us. Be sure your D has the freedom to choose a nonlucrative career.
You have confidence in the house personnel…and the school will allow a scale back within the first couple of weeks.
As long as your daughter knows that’s ok…if she feels it’s too much…then try it. She will know if it’s a manageable coirseload.
Just let her know…you are making these decisions based on HER and not what her older siblings did.
“. I am not worried as this we have complete trust in advisor.” - That’s good. So why the thread? Oh, maybe you’ talked more recently.
Your daughter’s 7th grade SAT scores suggest she’s highly gifted. If the school teach the APs in a way that covers the material without a lot of silly busy work it will probably be fine. It’s certainly not a schedule I would recommend to most kids. My highly gifted older kid took regular English as a junior, Latin IV, APUSH, APCalc BC, AP Physics C and I think a required health course. This was a while ago, but at HIS school that was competitive enough for Harvard. If you are at a school where the norm is to take many more APs you may have to take more to be competive. My kid took 8 or 9 in all I think.
The reason why I asked again about how this student handles stress is because it does appear, based on her 7th grade SAT scores, that this student may be highly gifted. This population often ( not always of course) exhibits a combination of behaviors that are different than “average smart kids”. It is not unusual to show (scary) strong emotional intensity in the privacy of their own home, intense perfectionism - again in the privacy of their own home, OCD type behavior when stressed, frustration when others don’t understand their point of view, very driven, etc. These kids can be very mature and get along great with teachers- so it’s impossible for them to catch the issues. I am in no way suggesting that this describes the student, but I did bring it up just in case. Although the student may have no problem understanding the material in 6 AP classes, it is important to know how she will handle walking in the door each day at 5:00-6:00-7:00 pm and sitting down to maybe 5+ hours of work. She also needs time to eat, etc.
The OPs daughter may handle this with no problem… in which case taking 6 AP classes with the ability to scale back if necessary… is fine. If she is the type to show strong emotional intensity when stressed ( this is scary to watch) it may be too much despite having the academic ability. My experience is that there can sometimes be a mismatch between the academic abilities ( which are very high) and the students emotional skills. Again- this may not describe the student but I thought it was important to bring up. High intelligence is a gift, but it sometimes comes with a host of other issues that need to be considered. These kids are often highly spirited and can be challenging.
To be honest with you, this girl sounds absolutely 100% perfect- and that concerns me a bit. She appears to be highly gifted, gets through her work easily without complaining, is very social, very involved in all kinds of activities outside of school, no evidence of any outward stress, lots of friends, very motivated and driven, with expectations to have high power jobs. If this is really who she is… Then that is great … enjoy it… but there is a part of me that wonders when … or if … the sh** will hit the fan… but of course it might not. We don’t know this student well enough to make any decisions about these classes. Again- gifted kids are a blessing and often make the HS years some of the proudest moments for parents… but these kids can come with their own set of unique challenges. We don’t know…